Lesbian News

❤️🌈 : actuallesbians

❤️🌈 : actuallesbians

A place for discussions for and by cis and trans lesbians, bisexual girls, chicks who like chicks, bi-curious folks, dykes, butches, femmes, girls who kiss girls, birls, bois, aces, LGBT allies, and anyone else interested! Our subreddit is named r/actuallesbians because r/lesbians is not really for or by lesbians–it was meant to be a joke. We’re not a militant or exclusive group, so feel free to join up!

Gay dad shares worst things people have said since having his son

Gay dads with their child

Robin Morgan-Bentley shared a list of the worst things people have said to him since becoming a father. (Stock image from Envato Elements)

A gay man has shared a list of the top 10 bizarre, offensive things people have said to him and his husband since they became dads.

Robin Morgan-Bentley shared the list on Twitter, highlighting the discriminatory attitudes queer parents often face in their everyday lives.

“Top 10 things actual people have said to me and my husband this year, as new gay dads,” Morgan-Bentley wrote.

Some of the points are hilarious, showing that people can be ignorant without meaning to be offensive – but others are truly shocking.

“Oh it’s lads’ day out today! So cute. Is mummy having the day off?” is the number one bizarre thing Morgan-Bentley has heard since becoming a dad.

Is the mum still involved? It must be so hard for her

But the list also reveals that people have questioned which of them is the “real dad”, while others have interrogated them on whether they worry about their son not being breast-fed.

Other questions include: “Is the mum still involved? It must be so hard for her,” and: “Do you reckon he’ll also be gay when he grows up?”

“What if his first word is mummy?” another person asked him, while another concerned straight person said: “Do you want me to help settle him?”

Gay dad was told: ‘I can be his mummy if you want’.

Perhaps most worryingly, one person actually said to him: “I can be his mummy if you want.”

Other people also alluded to the fact that their son was born in 2020 as COVID-19 began its rapid spread across the world.

“Oh he’s going to miss out on so much!” one person said to them. “Think of all the facial expressions he’s missing under these masks.”

Other Twitter users quickly shared their own horror stories of cis and straight people making bizarre, offensive, and sometimes hilarious faux-pas with their children.

Trans dad Freddy McConnell replied: “Solidarity! I’ve had many of these. Also virtually every one of my female friends/relatives has been assumed to be my kid’s mum more than once.”

Another gay dad replied: “We’ve had all of these and more. My particular fave: on seeing me choose a Fathers’ Day card with junior: ‘Oh your grandson is so adorable!’ (Though, maybe I just looked old).”

One woman added: “People are so intrusive to LGBTQ people’s lives. I’ve had a colleague ask me in a lift at work if I want kids, who will have them, how it will work… All in a one minute lift ride to the canteen (with other people in there…).”

But author CL Taylor perhaps summed it up best in her response to the thread, simply writing: “Woah. People are so rude.”

Kellyanne Conway’s estranged husband’s belongings are being sold on Ebay, daughter says / Queerty

Kellyanne Conway’s estranged husband’s belongings are being sold on Ebay,

Kellyanne Conway‘s daughter, Claudia, dropped a major bomb over the weekend when she announced on TikTok that her father, George, had walked out on the family. Now, the 16-year-old says she’s auctioning off all his belongings on Ebay.

“my dad dipping this morning saying he wants nothing to do with w our family and leaving for good,” 16-year-old Conway said in a TikTok video the other day.

When a fan commented that they hadn’t seen George in a while, Conway responded, “yeah me neither lol.”

In a followup TikTok video posted yesterday, Conway said she plans to sell off her father’s possessions to the highest bidder.

Modeling his clothing inside his walk-in closet, Conway stated her intention to auction off all her dad’s “shit on eBay,” including his prized collection of vaping cartridges.

“We got mint, menthol, and tobacco,” Claudia wrote. “Take your pick.”

Last week, Claudia turned her mother into a laughingstock when she posted a video of herself dancing to a Donald Trump diss track.

When Kellyanne realized she was being filmed, she looked very uncomfortable and quickly leapt up from where she was sitting. Moments later, the video cut away.

Neither Kellyanne nor George have commented on their marriage or any future plans for their family.

Related: Kellyanne Conway’s husband walks out, “wants nothing to do with our family,” daughter claims

Gay Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia – The Nomadic Boys

Gay Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia - The Nomadic Boys

Gay Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia - The Nomadic Boys

Kool-krazy-kat-Kota-Kinabalu, the capital and gateway of Malaysia’s Sabah region on Borneo island. This is the city where treks up to Borneo’s highest mountain (Mount Kinabalu) begin, the tropical waters of the Gaya islands are right on your doorstep, lots of different magnificent experiences can be found, and, the coolest nickname ever for a city: KK!

Whilst most travellers will skip out KK, using it just as a transport hub to enter/leave Sabah, we think you should spend a few nights here. We visited KK during our trip around Malaysia and loved it. It’s a relaxed, modern place that offers so much. It also has a large LGBTQ community and sometimes even a gay bar – ie it closes/reopens a lot (more on this below)!

We’ve put together all our findings from our trip in and around gay Kota Kinabalu in this article. We’ve included important practical safety tips for LGBTQ travellers, gay friendly hotels we tried/loved, queer friendly hangouts and some of our favourite things to do which we hope inspires you.

Is Kota Kinabalu safe for gay travellers?

On the whole, yes, but as long as you’re careful to avoid PDAs. Malaysia is not on par with some of the places in the Middle East, but it’s obviously no Bangkok here!

In relation to progressive LGBTQ rights in Malaysia, there are none at all. There is even a horrible archaic anti-gay law which carries with it a 20-year imprisonment as well as caning, fines and/or deportation! The reality is that the anti-gay law of Malaysia is rarely ever enforced, particularly against foreigners. However, this gives you an idea of how society regards homosexuality and therefore why it’s best to avoid PDAs.

By Stefan Arestis – Full Story at the Nomadic Boys

Pop Culture Fix: Bette and Tina are Back at it in “The L Word: Generation Q” Season 2 Table Read

Pop Culture Fix: Bette and Tina are Back at it


Someone dropped a bag of popcorn(?) on the sidewalk in front of my house last night, and an army of pigeons has descended upon it, and my cat Dobby is going BERSERK at the window. He’s never seen so many birds in his entire life, and they’re getting a treat he’s not getting, and, friend, he’s screaming about all of it. His constant chirping and hollering honestly sounds like the inside of my brain as I keep one eye on the impeachment hearings and type up this Pop Culture Fix with my other eye.


+ Rosie posted an Insta story from a table read for season two of The L Word: Generation Q, and the main thing the internet is noting is that Tina’s back. It’s actually kind of amazing that three hundred years after the original L Word, our TV Team still has so many feelings — good and bad — about these two! They still punch my heart in the neck!

+ The full trailer for season three of grown-ish is here.

+ Meet Batwoman season 2 big bad Safiyah in new first look. Also! Batwoman boss confirms Black Mask is season 2’s other big bad.

+ Why Batwoman didn’t recast Ruby Rose’s role.

+ Miss Honey is the original cottagecore lesbian.

+ Stop doomscrolling and watch the Fran Lebowitz documentary on Netflix.

+ Netflix’s first inclusion report confesses there’s a lot to be done in terms of diversity at the streaming platform, especially with Latinx folks. You know what would have made a huge difference in these numbers? ONE DAY AT A TIME.

+ Lilly Singh returns to remind us, when it comes to Trump’s coup, it’s the white supremacy, stupid.

+ Here’s your first look at Tig Notaro in Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead.

+ Lesbian film Frozen 2 was the most streamed movie of 2020.

+ This is the weirdest headline! Of course they ran away! Ellen DeGeneres Learned of COVID Diagnosis on ‘Ellen’ Set: ‘Everyone Around Me Ran Away’

+ This is a really interesting read: In favor of the queer mediocrity of Ammonite.

Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior writer who lives in New York City with her partner, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She’s a member of the Television Critics Association, the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Heather has written 1079 articles for us.

All Along the Watchtower – Lesbian.com

All Along the Watchtower – Lesbian.com

BY LEE LYNCH
Special to Lesbian.com

Oh, hell, what can I say at a time like this? Did we think they’d simply go away?

When angry white criminals occupied the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon back on January 2, 2016, and the seven miscreants were charged with federal conspiracy and weapons violations only to go scot free;

When, in the 1980s and 1990s angry white Christians organized to legalize discrimination against their scapegoats-of-the-day, gays, in order to build a vast political machine;

When a woman was killed by a white supremacist at the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Virginia;

When people of color are daily, hourly, victims of “officers of the law”;

With Southern Poverty Law Conference workers putting their lives in jeopardy to identify and expose hate groups;

With the American Civil Liberties Union and its sister social justice organizations unendingly trying to bring equality to a country that can’t or won’t provide it for its citizens;

When sixty-four million voters choose a money-grubbing, power-grabbing, morally empty, strangely uneducated cheater to rule them, and make an American idol of him;

When you’re Jewish, or your skin isn’t white, or you’re female, or your affectional preference scares people enough to make you a threat and a target;

When Americans bomb their neighbors;

When it’s dangerous to represent the citizens who elected you—we need to pay attention. We need to acknowledge that anti-democratic power is quietly accruing and will lash out; will harm rather than protect this too-trusting nation.

These rightist protestors are angry that gays can marry, they’re angry about a woman, especially a woman of color, becoming our vice president. They’re angry because they can’t get ahead, can’t pay their medical bills, can’t put anything away for retirement. This anger is passed from generation to generation and as we become a more just and equal nation some of these Americans blame the newly enfranchised for taking away their jobs, or their right to be better than whoever is lowest on their totem poles. They’re striking back, but at the wrong people.

Right wing demonstrators apparently think wealthy Republicans represent them. Socially, they may. But it’s not affirmative action taking bread off their tables, it’s not gay marriage siphoning off the middle class. It’s not “satanic” Democrats lowering taxes on big business or cutting food stamps, gutting Medicaid, and threatening to weaken Medicare and Social Security. Democrats are not the ones passing laws to weaken unions nor are they making it easier to give U.S. jobs to countries guilty of child labor, sweatshops, and pitiful wages.

Republicans are for big business. There’s a mutually beneficial relationship there: corporations fund their political campaigns and elected officials do corporations’ bidding. Like voting to consider corporations equal to humans. The campaign donations are used, in part, to target voters who are told that Democrats, progressives, socialists, liberals, whatever trigger word works, are harming Americans. The demonization is passed through certain churches, through organizations like the N.R.A., through some charter schools, through media designed for the purpose of telling lies.

They spread lies that smeared intelligent and capable Hillary Clinton so thoroughly that an insecure, bankrupt-prone idiot who knows nothing about government, foreign affairs, economics—about anything necessary to the office of President of the United States—was elected. Now, because he pandered to the anger and frustration of a populace frightened of change, opposed to inclusiveness, looking for a miracle, they seem to believe an economic evangelist con man will lead the way to riches untold.

We should have expected it and done more to stop it. This is a capitalist nation. Nothing wrong with that. Except, when Republicans eased the restrictions on corporations, they unleashed a money-grubbing free-for-all.

Unfettered capitalism is greed, pure and simple. Greed for profit and greed for power. And that’s what we have today, universal greed. Instead of taking care of its citizens, our government feeds that greed, starving those it was supposed to serve and protect, telling them all the while who to blame. While destroying the economy for the average American, these shameless elected corporate automatons duped laid-off factory workers, ex-service people, unstable wanna-be rebel leaders. Duped them not into a revolution, but into murderous, cock-a-hoop self-sabotage.

The Republicans aren’t sitting in jails, the corporations aren’t sharing their riches. These dissenters, tools of a corporate, big brother world, aren’t going away. We, the people, cannot look away any more.

Copyright Lee Lynch 2021 / January 2021

Lee Lynch’s website is: http://www.leelynchwriter.com/

Home state of Mike Pence could be next to ban conversion therapy

Vice president Mike Pence

Vice president Mike Pence. (Getty/J. Scott Applewhite)

Indiana, the home-state of vice-president Mike Pence, could be next in line to ban traumatising conversion therapy for LGBT+ people in a groundbreaking move.

JD Ford and Sue Errington, two Indiana Democrats, have introduced bills that would outlaw the dangerous practice in the state.

If passed, the bills would “make anti-LGBTQ practices illegal” and “penalise businesses and Hoosiers who participate in [the] debunked conspiracy theory”, according to the Stonewall Democrats.

“Putting a stop to this harmful and detrimental practice can save the lives of countless LGBTQ Hoosiers,” Ford said, according to WRTV.

“Our state has the chance to end this harmful and detrimental practice this year. A person’s sexual orientation or gender identity is not a disease that needs [to be] cured.

“In fact, every major medical and mental health organisation in our country has condemned the use of ‘conversion therapy’… there is no financial risk to our state government for approving this legislation, so why not do this?”

Meanwhile, Errington said in a press release that most people in Indiana have “never heard of conversion therapy” – but said the practice is ongoing in the state.

“I personally know some of my constituents were subjected to ‘conversion therapy’ as children and are concerned about its use on young people today,” Errington said.

“Last summer, a transgender friend of mine from Delaware County reached out to me and asked me to help end ‘conversion therapy’ in Indiana. Her plea prompted me to introduce House Bill 1213, which would end the use of this discredbied practice and protect Hoosiers who are born as LGBTQ.”

If the legislation is passed, Indiana would join 20 other states that have banned conversion therapy in some form.

Mike Pence has tried to rewrite his historic support of conversion therapy.

The news will likely come as a disappointment to the outgoing vice-president, who is famous for his connections to the dangerous and discredited practice of conversion therapy.

On the archived website for Pence’s 2000 congressional campaign, he suggested that funding for HIV prevention programming should be suspended and instead diverted to organisations that “provide assistance to those seeking to change their sexual behaviour”.

While campaigning to be vice-president, Mike Pence repeatedly declined requests to disavow the comments or clarify his point of view.

After being elected he attempted to rewrite history, claiming that he never actually supported the practise — even though his website had directly called for the therapy.

Mike Pence and Donald Trump are set to wave goodbye to their days as vice-president and president of the United States, with president-elect Joe Biden set to be inaugurated on 20 January.

 

Lesbian teen who got kicked out by family turns them in as possible MAGA rioters / LGBTQ Nation

Lesbian teen who got kicked out by family turns them

The Capitol was vandalized during the 1/6 riots.

The Capitol was vandalized during the 1/6 riots.Photo: Shutterstock

An 18-year-old lesbian who says she has been kicked out of her home outed her Trump-loving family members who participated in a violent altercation in D.C. on the even of the MAGA riots at the Capitol last week after she saw pictures of them being shared on social media and people were trying to identify them.

“Hi this is the liberal lesbian of the family who has been kicked out multiple times for her views and for going to BLM protests to care what happens to me,” wrote Helena Duke in a tweet, who then proceeded to give her family members’ names in response to photos of the protest.

Related: Gay Trump supporter was proud to “storm the Capitol.” Now he says he’s “in fear for my life.”

Helena said that her mother Therese Duke turned off a location-tracking app they share last week and told her daughter that she was accompanying a family member for a medical appointment.

But on Thursday morning – the day after the riots that left five people dead at the Capitol in an attempt to overturn the 2020 election results, install Donald Trump as president for at least four more years, and execute Mike Pence – Helena’s cousin sent her a video of a violent encounter in D.C. on Tuesday evening, the day before the riots.

In the clip, a group of white people in the streets were harassing a Black woman. Helena saw her mother and her aunt and uncle, Annie and Richard Lorenz, and she saw that her mother had tried to grab the Black woman.

“My initial reaction was more like, ‘Oh my gosh, I was right. I was actually right about them being there,’” Helena told BuzzFeed News. “It was very surreal because it was an insane video, first of all, and then it was the revelation that, ‘Oh, that’s my mother. That’s her.’”

So she texted her mother and asked her how the “medical appointment” went.

“Please call me or talk to me if you really wanna know,” Therese replied.

Helena asked Therese where she was on Wednesday night, and she didn’t reply. She saw that people online were looking for the identities of the people in the viral video, so she decided to tell.

“Before President Trump was elected, she was a Democrat for the majority of her life,” Helena said of her mother. “And then, I don’t know what happened. Something switched in her brain, and she went through a very dramatic change to very far right.”

The lesbian teen participated in a Black Lives Matter protest earlier this year. When her mother found out, she kicked the teen out and told her that she believes that Black Lives Matter is “a violent organization and they would be inciting violence.”

“hi mom remember the time you told me I shouldn’t go to BLM protests bc they could get violent…this you?” Helena wrote in a later tweet.

The teen said that her family members have been contacting her to remove their names from her tweets.

“We are not proud of how things went in DC,” her aunt wrote in a text. “I know you are upset but putting us in danger isn’t going to solve anything. Please … I am Begging you to remove.”

But Helena said that she doesn’t believe she did anything wrong.

“I always felt almost heartbroken over how they viewed the world and how skewed it was and how they wouldn’t allow me to express my views. But showing that they can act in such a horrible way is just really appalling to me,” she said. “I am honestly very disappointed to have to be part of this family that is so…just, very not welcoming or supportive. I don’t feel safe being part of this family.”

It is currently unclear if Therese or the aunt and uncle participating in the riots at the Capitol the next day.

“Over the Shop” Is a Wordless, Joyous Book About Found Family

Over the Shop - JonArno Lawson

I told you there were going to be some good LGBTQ-inclusive kid’s books coming out this year…. Let’s start with a beautifully illustrated, wordless book about a child and her grandparent who need to find renters for the apartment above their shop—and end up welcoming just the couple they need.

Over the Shop - JonArno Lawson

JonArno Lawson, an award-winning Canadian novelist and poet, developed the story concept for Over the Shop, which was then brought to life through the images of Qin Leng, an award-winning designer and illustrator. The first few pages show us a day in the life of a young girl who lives with her gender-ambiguous grandparent in the rooms behind their run-down general store. The grandparent is busy getting food onto their table and running the shop; we sense that the girl is often left to her own devices. The girl is old enough that this doesn’t seem dangerous, but she exudes a certain loneliness.

One day, the grandparent puts up a sign advertising the apartment above the shop. People either aren’t interested or are turned off by the apartment’s shabby appearance. Then one day, a new couple stops by. One person is dark-skinned with long hair, and reads as female; the other is Asian with short hair and could be read as nonbinary, a transgender man, or a butch/masculine woman. Lawson’s dedication in the front of the book is “To trans activists of all ages,” so I’m guessing the character was intended as trans; without any clarification in the story itself, however, I think readers have some leeway in interpretation. Regardless, they’re a queer couple; the Asian person has a rainbow-hued belt that we see subtly in several scenes, and a rainbow hat in another.

The girl senses something positive about them and urges her grandparent to let them take the apartment. The grandparent gives them a critical look—we’re not sure if it’s because they’re a queer couple, a non-White and interracial couple, or because the grandparent is simply crotchety—but finally concedes. The couple soon begins to clean up the apartment, wave hello to a suspicious (and gender-ambiguous) neighbor, and engage the girl in their sprucing up. Their DIY projects spread beyond the apartment to the rest of the building, and eventually, they start helping at the store, too. The grumpy grandparent’s demeanor brightens; even the neighbor begins to freshen up the building next door. The transformations continue and a rainbow flag—the first on the block—is hung outside the store. We then see the girl, grandparent, couple, and neighbor sharing a meal together.

Leng’s watercolor-and-ink drawings are soft but dynamic, and offer many subtle details that will encourage multiple readings. The illustrations pack in more story than words could. She also gives us a secondary storyline involving a neighborhood cat, which I won’t spoil except to say that it’s sweet and adorable (and, you know, has a cat in it, which for me is worth bonus points).

I absolutely love this book on many levels. There are many possibilities for discussion: about acceptance of people who don’t look like us; about socioeconomic differences and struggles; about gender and whether knowing someone’s gender makes a difference; about friendship and helping; about neighborhood, community, and family. At the same time, the storytelling is simply a joy, without a hint of pedantry or preachiness. Add this book to your bookshelves today, or recommend it to your local school or library.

Like Leng’s drawings? Check out A Family Is a Family Is a Family, by Sara O’Leary, which she also illustrated—a story about different kinds of families.

The post “Over the Shop” Is a Wordless, Joyous Book About Found Family appeared first on Mombian and is (c) Dana B. Rudolph LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

“Over the Shop” Is a Wordless, Joyous Book About Found Family

"Over the Shop" Is a Wordless, Joyous Book About Found

I told you there were going to be some good LGBTQ-inclusive kid’s books coming out this year…. Let’s start with a beautifully illustrated, wordless book about a child and her grandparent who need to find renters for the apartment above their shop—and end up welcoming just the couple they need.

Over the Shop - JonArno Lawson

JonArno Lawson, an award-winning Canadian novelist and poet, developed the story concept for Over the Shop, which was then brought to life through the images of Qin Leng, an award-winning designer and illustrator. The first few pages show us a day in the life of a young girl who lives with her gender-ambiguous grandparent in the rooms behind their run-down general store. The grandparent is busy getting food onto their table and running the shop; we sense that the girl is often left to her own devices. The girl is old enough that this doesn’t seem dangerous, but she exudes a certain loneliness.

One day, the grandparent puts up a sign advertising the apartment above the shop. People either aren’t interested or are turned off by the apartment’s shabby appearance. Then one day, a new couple stops by. One person is dark-skinned with long hair, and reads as female; the other is Asian with short hair and could be read as nonbinary, a transgender man, or a butch/masculine woman. Lawson’s dedication in the front of the book is “To trans activists of all ages,” so I’m guessing the character was intended as trans; without any clarification in the story itself, however, I think readers have some leeway in interpretation. Regardless, they’re a queer couple; the Asian person has a rainbow-hued belt that we see subtly in several scenes, and a rainbow hat in another.

The girl senses something positive about them and urges her grandparent to let them take the apartment. The grandparent gives them a critical look—we’re not sure if it’s because they’re a queer couple, a non-White and interracial couple, or because the grandparent is simply crotchety—but finally concedes. The couple soon begins to clean up the apartment, wave hello to a suspicious (and gender-ambiguous) neighbor, and engage the girl in their sprucing up. Their DIY projects spread beyond the apartment to the rest of the building, and eventually, they start helping at the store, too. The grumpy grandparent’s demeanor brightens; even the neighbor begins to freshen up the building next door. The transformations continue and a rainbow flag—the first on the block—is hung outside the store. We then see the girl, grandparent, couple, and neighbor sharing a meal together.

Leng’s watercolor-and-ink drawings are soft but dynamic, and offer many subtle details that will encourage multiple readings. The illustrations pack in more story than words could. She also gives us a secondary storyline involving a neighborhood cat, which I won’t spoil except to say that it’s sweet and adorable (and, you know, has a cat in it, which for me is worth bonus points).

I absolutely love this book on many levels. There are many possibilities for discussion: about acceptance of people who don’t look like us; about socioeconomic differences and struggles; about gender and whether knowing someone’s gender makes a difference; about friendship and helping; about neighborhood, community, and family. At the same time, the storytelling is simply a joy, without a hint of pedantry or preachiness. Add this book to your bookshelves today, or recommend it to your local school or library.

Like Leng’s drawings? Check out A Family Is a Family Is a Family, by Sara O’Leary, which she also illustrated—a story about different kinds of families.

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Kim and Jace had a lot of plans for their early July, Steep Rock engagement session. This location is a popular tourist spot a 2.5-hour drive from their home in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Bringing with them three outfits, a gorgeous fresh-cut bouquet, and Kim’s oval-cut Noam Carver diamond ring, we started with the couple’s semi-formal look which consisted of a dusty blue, off-the-shoulder full-length gown for Kim and a short sleeve, printed navy dress shirt and gray slacks for Jace. This first outfit was backdropped by the clear blue water and sky, with photos taken on a small cliff overlooking the lake and beach (which was busy with swimmers and sunbathers on this sunny day). For the second, more casual look, we took a walk along this rocky beach, dodging photo-bombers along the way. And finally, for their last look, Kim and Jace recreated outfits after their favorite Korean drama, “Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God,” along with poses/scenes from the show. This full-day engagement photoshoot produced some truly dreamy photos for the couple.—Christina W. Kroeker

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

HOW DID YOU TWO FIRST MEET?

The way Jace and I met is kind of a wild story. I worked at Anthropologie, a store in the mall we both worked at, and Jace worked at Starbucks. For MONTHS all I knew about Jace was that he was my favorite barista because whenever he was working, my drink was made perfectly! (Trust me, I can tell the difference when my drink is made differently). What I didn’t know is that Jace secretly had a crush on me FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS. Long story short, eventually the stars aligned and we messaged each other on Instagram, became friends and eventually started dating. Also, he officially asked me out by wearing a T-shirt that said “Kimberly, will you be my girlfriend?” with a “YES” check box and a no “NO” option to turn him down. Ha ha! From the very first time we hung out, everything just clicked. I know that sounds cliche, but that’s how we felt. We knew we would end up married one day.

WHAT MAKES YOUR RELATIONSHIP SPECIAL?

We both care passionately about LGBTQ+ rights, have attended our local Pride celebrations together every year, except this past year, ’cause you know… COVID-19. We do almost anything together. He supports me while I geek out and cosplay at Comic Con (he even cosplays with me!), and we both love to go out and eat and try different restaurants. We have a HUGE love for Korean Dramas and even recreated our favorite kdrama in our engagement photoshoot (Goblin/Guardian The Lonely and Great God).

HOW DID YOU KNOW YOUR PARTNER WAS THE ONE? 

We both knew almost from the first date that we had something special, and about one month of dating, we both started seriously thinking we were each other’s “The One.” We talked about getting engaged/married early into the relationship, setting the expectation that while we couldn’t afford to do either of those things at that moment or within the next couple months, we wanted each other to both know we were on the same page. When you know you know, right?

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

TELL US ABOUT THE PROPOSAL

I was SHOCKED. So, because I had actually picked out the ring, I knew that a proposal was coming at some point, but I was completely shocked when it actually happened, I thought it was still going to be a couple months out. He actually managed to trick me for the first time! I actually almost threw all his plans off by springing it on him, last minute, that I planned to get my eyebrows microbladed on the same day he was planning to propose. How was I supposed to know?! He panicked and looked up microblading to see if my eyebrows would be all red for the pictures. Lucky for us, they always look the best the day they’re done. Crisis averted. During my appointment, I got a text from “his brother” saying that he was drunk at his friends house downtown and needed to be picked up by Jace. Annoyed that he didn’t just call or text Jace, I called Jace asking him to call his brother because he was apparently “drunk” and I’m in my appointment so I can’t be texting or calling back and forth. Jace’s brother isn’t really a drinker, so it was weird he was drunk, but I just brushed it off. I finish my eyebrow appointment and call Jace to come pick me up. I meet Jace in our car, expecting to either head home or go to eat but he tells me we still have to pick up his brother, okay cool. Because Jace is awful with directions, I man the Google Maps app on his phone to the address he has already put in, which is less than 10 minutes from where we are. 

We drive up to the building that Google is set to, but instead of stopping at the building, he pulls into a parking lot. I ask him, “Why aren’t we just picking up your brother from the front door of the building?” Jace replies, “No, we have to go upstairs.” I am now again annoyed and confused because: A) why can’t his brother just come down? B) we don’t know any of his friends so why are we going upstairs to their place? 

We finally make our way to the building and take the elevator up to the proper floor and Jace knocks on the door, all the while, I am thinking, “Damn, I know this condo building, it’s expensive… Jace’s brother must have some rich friends. Jace knocks on the door and starts to push me forward toward the door. I immediately get mad and ask him why he’s pushing me towards the door?! I don’t know these people! I don’t want to go first! I’m really shy when I first meet people just for reference. The door opens and our friend and photographer, Christina appears in the doorway! 

At this point, I still have not clued in… I was still thinking, “How does Jace’s brother know Christina?” Also, “this is not where Christina lives…” I nervously say “hi…..?” as Jace tries to push and ease me into the doorway. As I walk in, I start to see balloons and decorations in the living room behind Christina. I have now clued in that this is a proposal and don’t know what to do. Luckily Christina and Jace had planned it all. Christina motions me to the bathroom right by the front door and asks me to change into the dress hanging off of the shower bar. *Bonus points for having the dress I said I wanted to wear for my future proposal. I change, freak out a little, and then meet Christina and Jace in the living room of the condo he’s rented. Jace is fumbling to play the planned music and I read the words “marry me” written in white rose petals on the floor and there’s balloons everywhere. 

At this point, Jace is taking too long with the music so I just start sobbing. Classic, right? He hugs me while I sob and he manages to get the music playing. I eventually get it together and there’s an awkward silence between us before I say, “You still have to ask!” He wasn’t even holding the ring. It was across the room on the couch with a sign that read, “Will you be my wife?” Because Jace and I are awkward, Christina takes the lead and leads Jace and I to the perfect spot and Jace gets down on one knee. He doesn’t know what to say at first and I laugh because that’s so classic Jace. A few seconds later, he finds his words and says the only thing he wants for his birthday is for me to be his wife. I start to ugly cry—there’s a good picture of it—and I say yes!

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

TELL US ABOUT THAT RING! 

The ring I originally had my heart set on was from a jeweller in the USA, and being from Canada, the eventual cost of the ring with the exchange rate and duties and taxes to get it across the border made it just not financially feasible to make that happen. So Jace and I worked together to find a jeweller who could custom-make a close design with a moissanite stone as the star of the show. Not having a diamond was something I wanted. The price point of getting a high-quality diamond for the size I hoped for in the main stone just didn’t seem worth it. We ended up choosing Appelts Jewellers who has a designer named Noam Carver to custom make the ring I dreamed of. I only got to see the rendering of the design and pick the moissanite, so it was just *fingers crossed* from there that I was going to turn out how I dreamed. It did. It was BEAUTIFUL. Rose gold, 1-carat moissanite, halo of diamonds, and a half diamond band in a vintage style design. Couldn’t have been more happy with how it turned out.

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR WEDDING PLANNING?

Because I’ve worked in the wedding industry, I was quite familiar with how planning should be, which made things mostly a breeze. I’m sure like most brides, the thing I was excited about the most was dress shopping! I was pretty certain that I was set on a certain brand, which I only carried as an exclusive in one bridal store in my city, but that still didn’t stop me from trying on probably close to 50 dresses. Now I just can’t wait to see Jace’s reaction the day of when he gets to see me in it. If I had to pick a second thing to look forward to, it would definitely be sampling all the food at our venue for the day of.

Dreamy summer engagement photo session in Steep Rock, Manitoba with poses and attire based on Korean drama, Guardian: The Lonely and Lost God Photo by Christina W. Kroeker Creative Published on Equally Wed, the leading LGBTQ+ wedding website

VENDORS
Photographer: Christina W. Kroeker Creative
Video: Dean Rover Films
Floral Designer: Academy Florist
Dresses: Hush Clothing & Accessories
Jewelry: Appelt’s Diamonds
Jewelry: Noam Carver

I’ve been found out. : actuallesbians

I’ve been found out. : actuallesbians

A place for discussions for and by cis and trans lesbians, bisexual girls, chicks who like chicks, bi-curious folks, dykes, butches, femmes, girls who kiss girls, birls, bois, aces, LGBT allies, and anyone else interested! Our subreddit is named r/actuallesbians because r/lesbians is not really for or by lesbians–it was meant to be a joke. We’re not a militant or exclusive group, so feel free to join up!