Tag: Autostraddle

Foolish Child #86: Dinosaurs | Autostraddle

Foolish Child #86: Dinosaurs | Autostraddle


In a four panel comic, two hand drawn dinosaurs are asking, why are they in fact dinosaurs? A baby Dino sits on one of their backs making cute noises. The Dickens Dino says, "This child wouldn’t allow me to draw in peace unless I was drawing dinosaurs." And then Dickens explains "It’s fine — just say something queer and relatable." To which the other Dino jokes, "You look like a dildo." and Dickens laughs, "you are one to talk!"..

Dickens

I am a queer coparenting mama to Dickens Jr. Doodler by day, 911 dispatcher by night. All my favorite shows look better on Tumblr. I am two years and 450K words deep into constructing a fanfic called Ages and I’m never giving up on it. Bering & Wells.

Alana has written 85 articles for us.

Bisexual Disney Characters, Ranked | Autostraddle

Bisexual Disney Characters, Ranked | Autostraddle

Bisexual Disney characters are a lot more common than you realized when you were watching these animated films as a young queer kid. In the past, we’ve ranked Disney Princesses by lesbianism and Disney Channel Original Movies by lesbianism — and now, in 2020, we’ve decided to open up the entire animated Disney canon to a new interpretation and discover the bisexual Disney characters we’ve overlooked all these years.

Below are the 32 most bisexual Disney characters, ranked by our full Autostraddle team.


32. Sgt. Tibbs, 101 Dalmatians

Sgt Tibbs looks over a couch and gasps.

Stef: ACAB — all cats are bi, I don’t make the rules.


32. Tiana, The Princess and the Frog

Tiana stands on the balcony with a frog prince and looks bored. Neither are high ranked bisexual Disney characters.

Natalie: Tiana is painfully straight… though, in fairness, the only other women in the movie are her mama, her boy-obsessed best friend and a voodoo priestess.

Carmen: She is voiced by Anika Noni Rose, who has played gay twice in the years since this movie premiered (first, Jukebox on Power and then Rose on Little Fires Everywhere), so I’m giving her a bonus point.


31. Belle, Beauty and the Beast

Belle reads to a sheep.

Stef: Personally I am tired of Belle asking me If I’ve ever read Sex at Dawn.

Adrian: I do not think Belle as presented seems bi — but I believe in her potential.

Carmen: I do feel like all nerdy book girls are at least 20% bisexual, but sadly for Belle I believe that’s where the journey ends.

Carolyn: I read Belle as slightlyyyy bi but I think that’s less canonical Belle and more the version of her in Emma Donoghue’s retelling of beauty and the beast in Kissing the Witch.


30. Maximus, Tangled

Maximus scowls at Flynn and offers his hoof begrudgingly. His bisexual Disney characters ranking is not as high as his best friend's.

Carmen: Sorry I am absolutely in it for the pout!!


29. Sally Carrera, Cars

Sally does a side-eye in front of a desert backdrop.

Natalie: If we’re picking a bisexual from the Cars universe, it’s Cruz Ramirez.

Rachel: I feel like I dated her in college and we had zero chemistry but were too young to figure out that was a good enough reason to break it off.


28. Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio

Jiminy Cricket doffs his top hat. A lot of bisexual Disney characters wear top hats!

Malic: I’m not convinced that Jiminy Cricket is bi, but they’re definitely non-binary.

Adrian: I am thinking maybe our ol pal JC (omg is Jiminy Cricket a Jesus allegory??? sorry I’ll stop) is more of a “no labels” type of queer.


27. Merida, Brave

Merida crouches and draws her bow.

Drew: Merida genuinely seems to have zero interest in men. So I’d lean more lesbian than bisexual. But maybe she’s bisexual in the way I’m bisexual — into lots of genders but not men and the internet is telling her that also counts as bisexual if that’s a label she wants for herself and she’s not sure yet?

Valerie: I’m with Merida, I wish there was a good word for “into lots of genders but not men” (though I appreciate you putting that so succinctly, Drew).

Stef: I have definitely swiped past Merida on Tinder.

Carmen: The thing is, I’m actually convinced Merida is a lesbian.

Heather: A bow is a very bisexual weapon! Not as bisexual as like a staff but way more bisexual than a mace! (Everything I learned about bisexual Disney characters I learned from D&D.)


26. Rapunzel, Tangled

Rapunzel sweeps around her hair.

Drew Gregory: Mommy issues.

Riese: Not a bisexual bob.

Natalie: Rapunzel was sheltered for so long, I’m convinced she’d try anything. Probably gay til graduation, though.

Valerie: TECHNICALLY she had a bisexual bob towards the end of the movie, once she left the oppressive confines of her Tower of Heterosexuality.

Malic: Okay, but hanging from your hair is technically a circus art, and every circus performer is bi.


25. Anna, Frozen

Anna stands in a forest surrounded by swirling autumn leaves. More attention has been paid to lesbian Disney characters like Elsa than bisexual Disney characters like Anna.

Drew: Uh yeah pretty sure she’s the “straight” sister who spends a bunch of time with her lesbian sister’s queer friends and one day one of them says something about queerness and she’s like “but I feel that way and I’m not queer” and there’s a pause and then she’s like “oh shit am I??” Kristoff is super supportive of her exploring that, of course.

Carmen: Wow. that’s the best use of “In this essay I will —” that I’ve ever seen, Drew.


24. Te Fiti, Moana

Te Fiti hold Moana in her hand.

Carmen: I would also like to suggest Te Fiti from Moana because I don’t know, I think she’s gay. This is a lot of flowers. Flowers are gay.


23. Maid Marian, Robin Hood

Marian holds a daisy and smiles sweetly. Robin Hood is ranked higher in the Bisexual Disney Characters list than her.

Stef: To me Marian reads like she’ll make out with you at parties but still dates only guys, which is frustrating.

Adrian: Oh dang, Stef, I was gonna say Marian reads like a femme bi who is always like “well as a bisexual!!!!” because everyone assumes she’s straight. Not that our two reads are mutually exclusive oops.

Stef: I’ve made out with a lot of Marians unfortunately.

Meg: Oh god as a femme bi who is always like “well as a bisexual!!!!” I feel both deeply seen and fully horrified.


22. Jasmine, Aladdin

Jasmine hugs her pet tiger Rajah who some writers thing also should have made the list of Bisexual Disney characters.

Valerie: Jasmine had a lot of barriers to break through but you KNOW if she hadn’t had to spend so much time busting through the “I’d like to choose who I marry” wall she’d have been on the “I should be able to marry a man OR a woman, FATHER” train.

Sarah: Bi girls love having cats as pets

Malic: Jasmine seems a little bi, but Raja the tiger is the big ol’ bisexual here.

Himani: I feel like the live action Jasmine has way more queer vibes to me than the animated one.

Carmen: We can think of her as Representative Jasmine of the All Jasmines Delegation of Bisexual Disney Characters.

Himani: Haha that’s fair — I just wanted to note that bc they feel like two very different characters to me.

Carmen: They definitely were!

Sarah: Oh yeah live action Jasmine is so queer.


21. White Rabbit, Alice in Wonderland

The White Rabbit studies his pocket watch

Valerie: Maybe this is me projecting but I feel like being perpetually late is inherently queer.

Rachel: Yeah I also came here to say I couldn’t figure out why he felt bi to me and then realized it’s because he’s stressed out.

Stef: You oughta see this guy sit in a chair.

Adrian: He’s never gonna be able to keep a brunch reservation with this crowd.


20. Tramp, Lady and the Tramp

Tramp smirks handsomely

Sarah: This bi girl I dated briefly had a huge crush on Tramp so I’m pretty sure that also means Tramp has bi energy?

Stef: Dirtbag with a heart of gold, I relate.

Carmen: I relate because I always date this person and rarely does it ever work out for me.

Carolyn: +1 Carmen

Kayla: EXTREME bi dirtbag energy.


18 and 19. Pumba and Timon, The Lion King

Bisexual Disney characters and clowns Pumba and Timon try to look convincing.

Natalie: The Bert and Ernie of the Disney world.


17. Robin Hood, Robin Hood

Robin Hood shows off.

Rachel: Feel strongly that Robin Hood is not bi but does exclusively date bi girls.

Stef: Oh I think Robin is a guy who is very comfortable talking about men he finds attractive and I don’t think he’s opposed to hooking up with dudes, he’s just constantly being hit on by women.

Archie: He is def being merry with his band of men in those woods.


16. Remy, Ratatouille

Remy dances with a carrot in front of a window with the Eiffel Tower in the background.

Drew: Pretty sure the plot of Ratatouille is Remy falls in love with Linguini, Linguini thinks they’re just friends and colleagues and falls in love with Colette instead, Remy is sad and jealous and leaves, Linguini starts to miss Remy, Linguini, Remy, and Colette end up in a throuple. No?


15. Hei Hei, Moana

Hei Hei stands on a boat deck and looks confused and nervous.

Meg: This may be controversial but I feel like Hei Hei has very chaotic bisexual energy.

Carmen: Profoundly relate to Hei Hei’s anxiety. As queer people, anxiety is our time honored way of being.

Stef: I relate to Hei Hei’s admirable ability to do the same dumb thing over and over and over again, truly makes me feel like he’s one of my people.


13. Jessie, Toy Story

Bisexual Disney character/horse girl Jessie stands on Andy's bed in her cowgirl hat looking excited. She is the only Toy Story toy on the Bisexual Disney Characters list.

Natalie: I think Jessie is one of those girls who says she’s bisexual in college and then comes out as a lesbian later in life.

Rachel: Museum-quality example of the bisexual horse girl.

Meg: “When She Loved Me” has to be in the top three most queer Disney songs.


13. Megara, Hercules

Megara leans casually and smirks.

Valerie: This is a very Bisexual Lean™️ in my humble opinion. Robin Hood does it too.

Rachel: Absolutely The Blueprint for bitchy bisexual women.

Carolyn: The first character I thought of when I saw we were doing this list.


12. Moana, Moana

Moana stands on a boat on the shore and sings.

Drew: Moana is trans and lots of trans people are bi therefore Moana is probably bi. We call that the transitive property.

Heather: Drew. “Transitive property.” *adjusts bisexual monocle*


11. Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty

Animated bisexual Disney character Maleficent chats with her raven.

Drew: I know this is technically a different version of the character. But anyone who is portrayed by bicon Angelina Jolie automatically gets major bi points IMO.

Valerie: Was about to make my case by way of Angelina Jolie but Drew  already did it.  Also, having a raven familiar is extremely bisexual.

Stef: Maleficent thinks the stereotype of the evil bisexual is harmful but she’s also still maleficent, an evil bisexual.

Carmen: Maleficent is bisexual in every iteration of her character, and in the following order:

1. Animated Original Maleficent, super bisexual.

2. Kristin Bauer Van Straten as Maleficent in Once Upon a Time, supremely bisexual

3. Angelina Jolie in both live action movies of Maleficent, astronomically bisexual.


10. Elastigirl, The Incredibles

Elastigirl does stunts on her motorcycle.

Carolyn: Elastigirl’s hair: a take on the bisexual bob??

Valerie: I genuinely can’t remember if she had a canon ex-girlfriend or if I decided it so hard it became true in my mind.

Heather: She had a husband and a girlfriend in Incredibles 2.

Kayla: Elastidaddy (I’m sorry).


9. Mulan, Mulan

Mulan gives herself a haircut with her sword. She is the highest ranked Disney Princess on the Bisexual Disney Characters list.

Heather: Name a more bisexual activity than cutting off your own hair with a sword.


8. Professor Ratigan, The Great Mouse Detective

Professor Ratigan takes a bow.

Stef: WHERE is Professor Ratigan????

Heather: I was worried I was adding too many villainous bisexuals and people would get mad!

Stef: The amount of time he spends denying his identity as a rat plus his sinister power grabs? BISEXUAL.

Heather: You’re right, you’re right.

Stef: Listen, as a villainous bisexual.

Heather: You’re not—

Stef: I demand representation!


7. Jessica Rabbit, Roger Rabbit

Jessica Rabbit croons a sultry tune.

Rachel: “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way” is commentary on biphobia.

Sarah: This is every bi Scorpio I know.

Stef, a bi Scorpio: I don’t want to talk about it.


5 and 6. Lumiere and Cogsworth, Beauty and the Beast

Bisexual Disney characters Lumiere and Cogsworth hug it out.

Archie: These two have literal wives in the movie. But also 👀 💅 imo.

Archie, who can only vote as high as a seven: NINE!

Stef: None more bi.


4. John Darling, Peter Pan

John Darling wears a nightshirt, top hat, and Harry Potter glasses.

Adrian: It’s the top hat/nightgown combo for me.

Stef: Oh the oversized glasses that don’t even have lenses in them.

Adrian: DING DING DING!


3. Evil Queen, Snow White

The Evil Queen sits on her throne, evily.

Stef: Is that like a … gaiter? What is that? I’ve always been obsessed with it.

Heather: It’s like a full balaclava.

Stef: For when you have to be at the palace at 2:00, but you’re meeting with the other foot soldiers at 3:30. I bet her Corona fashion would have been insane.

Malic: The Evil Queen was an early crush of mine, so I assumed that she’s an unavailable straight woman. But now I’m convinced — she is, indeed, bi.

Carmen: Ahem, the Evil Queen, in all of her iterations, is the purest form that hot bisexual who is both smarter than you and also knows how to apply the perfect lipstick and winged eyeliner and definitely also will murder you with a knife and you will somehow like it. This was never more true than when Regina Mills was the Evil Queen on Once Upon a Time, who was so supremely bisexual that it makes one quiver at the knees. HOWEVER, since I was SO RUDELY AND UNFAIRLY forbidden from once again inexplicably squeezing Regina Mills into an Autostraddle television conversation, I will gladly accept the animated original in her place.

Heather: “Once again.”

Stef: If anyone wants to buy me that cloak w the widow’s peak situation I promise to look really good in it.


2. Li Shang, Mulan

Li Shang quirks his eyebrows in confusion.

Drew: Always identified as bi, but lately he’s been hearing the word pan and is thinking maybe that suits him better.

Rachel: Definitely bisexual, almost bi himbo representation, but I think at the end of the day is a little too smart to qualify.


1. Ursula, The Little Mermaid

Ursula is delighted with herself for being the #1 bisexual Disney character.

Drew: Is she jealous of Ariel or Prince Eric? Does she want to fuck Ariel or Prince Eric? I say, why choose!

Stef: And don’t underestimate the importance of BODY LANGUAGE.

Carmen: My favorite thing about Ursula is that no matter the gay list, no matter the time — she will always top it.

Carolyn: In more ways than one.


Did we miss any of your favorite bisexual Disney characters? Let us know in the comments!

The Autostraddle Insider: Issue 74, November 2020

The Autostraddle Insider: Issue 74, November 2020


Letter From Your Editors
We just get further distilled as this year goes on. This is who we are at our utmost selves:

November sure went by fast — did anyone else find themselves surprised that we’re suddenly a month away from a new decade? The top of November submerged us in the U.S. election — and thoughtful coverage on AS — which brought on high heaps of anxiety, some of which dissolved into celebration and some of which will follow us well into 2021. But we are leaving this month officially in HOLIGAY SEASON now. So even in COVID, even as we look back at the things that we’ve lost and will continue to plague us, even as uncertainty hovers near, I have been filled with warmth and excitement by the care, humor and energy in this community — also by what Nicole is cooking up for our A+ members next month, check your A+ E-News this weekend!

Some of my must-reads of November are posts that have filled me with sense of relief in one way or another: Shelli’s roundtable on The Happi…

You’ve Reached A+ Content!

Independent queer media is more important in 2020 than ever. We need lesbian and queer media that centers the voices of our community, that tells our truths, that covers relevant stories and issues — and we REFUSE to put Autostraddle behind a paywall because we want to be there for our community. In fact, A+ members are an important part of our business model because we won’t put up a paywall for most of our content, we ask that, if you can, you support us in keeping this space here for everyone. That’s why we occasionally have A+ Content like this — to thank our A+ Members who support Autostraddle and keep us here for everyone who needs us. You can become a member and join this fabulous lesbian and queer illuminati for just $1 / week.

**Join A+!**

With media outlets furloughing and laying off staff or sometimes closing outright due to the global pandemic, Autostraddle has been able to hold out thanks to community members like you. We believe that in this year, 2020, it’s more important than ever to keep queer media independent and working for our community. If you believe the same, will you help us out? Will you be the next person to join the queer illuminati working behind the scenes to keep this space here and unapologetically GAY? Memberships start at just $4 a month and every dollar makes a difference!

**Join A+!**

Where do A+ Member dollars go? When you pay for A+, your money becomes GAY and goes toward paying the LGBTQ humans who make Autostraddle possible. Your membership supports the kind, loving, hilarious, radical and challenging work you’re here for. Besides that, sometimes we need to mail things and pay for our server and tech support and get some pens and stuff. ABOVE ALL, A+ Members help sustain Autostraddle and our future. Plus, A+ members get a direct line to the team, their advice questions answered anonymously, hot perks and their names enshrined in our gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer hearts forever.

Did you know Cobalt Membership starts at just $1 a week? Every dollar matters when it comes to helping Autostraddle thrive, build queer community, and be here for the next person who needs us.

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Kamala Puligandla

Kamala Puligandla lives in LA and is the writer of various autobiographical fictions. She is the distinguished recipient of her parents’ leftovers and hair compliments from strangers on the street. Her first novel is forthcoming from Not A Cult. Find her work at kamalapuligandla.com.

Kamala has written 46 articles for us.

The Autostraddle Insider: Issue 72, September 2020

The Autostraddle Insider: Issue 72, September 2020


Letter From Your Editors
1: 💛 Ari // Vanessa // Rachel // Kamala // Riese2: Casey // Stef // Sarah // Nicole // Dani3: Laneia // Drew // Heather // Malic // Ari 💛

Hi Insiders!

September is generally a “getting back to business” season and that’s some of what we’ve been up to at Autostraddle. I know this summer has been hard, depressing and weird, but it’s also had its moments. One of my summer highlights was hopping a fence to swim in a nice pool at a big, deserted house with a strangely executed Moroccan architectural theme. The place was empty because it was about to be remodeled and my friend told me that a friendly dyke was watching the house until it was finished, and we could just invite ourselves in. It felt like an appropriately eerie and satisfying pandemic summer excursion.

But in terms of getting back to business, we started off the month with a virtual Shakedown retreat for senior staff. We set some intentions around how we want to demonstrate who we are as a site…

You’ve Reached A+ Content!

Autostraddle is free on purpose! We’re mostly reader-supported, and reader support allows us to keep our content paywall-free — and to keep surviving. With media outlets furloughing and laying off staff due or sometimes closing outright to the global pandemic, Autostraddle has been able to hold out thanks to readers like you. We believe that in this year, 2020, it’s more important than ever to keep queer media independent and working for our community. If you believe the same, will you help us out? A+ Members support Autostraddle and keep our website free for everyone (except for the occasional piece of A+ content like this). Will you be the next person to join the queer illuminati working behind the scenes to keep this space here and unapologetically GAY? Memberships start at just $4 a month and every dollar makes a difference!

**Join A+!**

Where do A+ Member dollars go? First and most of all — the vast majority of support from readers pays our team and queer writers. When you pay for A+, your money becomes GAY and goes toward paying the LGBTQ humans who make Autostraddle possible. Your membership supports the kind, loving, hilarious, radical and challenging work you’re here for. Besides that, sometimes we need to mail things and pay for tech support and get some pens and stuff. ABOVE ALL, A+ Members help sustain Autostraddle and our future. Plus, A+ members get a direct line to the team, their advice questions answered anonymously, hot perks and their names enshrined in our gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer hearts forever.

Did you know Cobalt Membership starts at just $1 a week? Every dollar matters when it comes to helping Autostraddle thrive, build queer community, and be here for the next person who needs us.

Join A+ Today!

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Kamala Puligandla

Kamala Puligandla lives in LA and is the writer of various autobiographical fictions. She is the distinguished recipient of her parents’ leftovers and hair compliments from strangers on the street. Her first novel is forthcoming from Not A Cult. Find her work at kamalapuligandla.com.

Kamala has written 36 articles for us.