This is the final installment of the erotica series Constellations, about finding and keeping kink connections and navigating polyamorous love.
Content notes: polyamory processing, make-up sex, manual sex
Bennett put their head down on the table, cradling it in their arms. Their temples pounded. Their mouth was dry and their stomach ached. Their dinner sat on the table, half-eaten: a plate full of chicken and green beans and Bennett’s famous smashed cheesy potatoes. Paige had eaten hers. The candle in the small glass votive had burned itself out and was only a small ring of wax around a nub of a wick.
“I just want to know I’m special,” Paige said in a small voice. She was past the yelling, past the accusations of Bennett keeping things from her, past the insecurities and fear, though maybe not yet past the jealousy. The jealousy surprised her. She was just starting to soften to what was underneath.
That made Bennett’s head spin. Special? Of course she was special. She was thei…
You’ve Reached A+ Content!
Independent queer media is more important in 2020 than ever. We need lesbian and queer media that centers the voices of our community, that tells our truths, that covers relevant stories and issues — and we REFUSE to put Autostraddle behind a paywall because we want to be there for our community. In fact, A+ members are an important part of our business model because we won’t put up a paywall for most of our content, we ask that, if you can, you support us in keeping this space here for everyone. That’s why we occasionally have A+ Content like this — to thank our A+ Members who support Autostraddle and keep us here for everyone who needs us. You can become a member and join this fabulous lesbian and queer illuminati for just $1 / week.
With media outlets furloughing and laying off staff or sometimes closing outright due to the global pandemic, Autostraddle has been able to hold out thanks to community members like you. We believe that in this year, 2020, it’s more important than ever to keep queer media independent and working for our community. If you believe the same, will you help us out? Will you be the next person to join the queer illuminati working behind the scenes to keep this space here and unapologetically GAY? Memberships start at just $4 a month and every dollar makes a difference!
Where do A+ Member dollars go? When you pay for A+, your money becomes GAY and goes toward paying the LGBTQ humans who make Autostraddle possible. Your membership supports the kind, loving, hilarious, radical and challenging work you’re here for. Besides that, sometimes we need to mail things and pay for our server and tech support and get some pens and stuff. ABOVE ALL, A+ Members help sustain Autostraddle and our future. Plus, A+ members get a direct line to the team, their advice questions answered anonymously, hot perks and their names enshrined in our gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer hearts forever.
Did you know Cobalt Membership starts at just $1 a week? Every dollar matters when it comes to helping Autostraddle thrive, build queer community, and be here for the next person who needs us.
Join A+ Today!
Already a member? Sign in
Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is “the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queer women” (AfterEllen), who “is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places” (Autostraddle). Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. Sinclair identifies as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor and an introvert. Follow their writings at Sugarbutch Chronicles.
Sinclair has written 42 articles for us.