I’ve been on a bit of a manga kick lately, especially lesbian manga. (See my post Lesbian Manga and Yuri Manga: What’s the Difference and Where Should You Start? for more.) My latest favourite has been How Do We Relationship?, and I’m always looking for more yuri manga with adult main characters. Unfortunately, Our Teachers are Dating! was a miss for me.
This series takes place in a sort of weird alternate universe of intense yuri fans. Hayama and Terano are two teachers who have just started dating, but they act just as awkward and shy as schoolgirls on their first dates. Their coworkers ship them–in fact, Bandou (one of the other female teachers) specifically applied to be at this all-girls school to cheer on yuri couples. She spies on them. It’s creepy. Their principal is also supportive, which is nice in the sense that she’s not homophobic, but is weird that no one even mentions the complications of two coworkers dating. In fact, they’re encouraged to go on a date at school??
I should mention at this point that I was a teacher very recently (I completed training about a year and a half ago, was a substitute teacher, and then had my first class end a few months ago). So it’s likely that this affected me more than the average reader, but I was completely taken out of the story by how unprofessional and even unethical they were acting. The dating at school was already weird–talking about your dating life with students is definitely beginning to cross a line. But that wasn’t the end of it! Hayamo confides in her students that she hasn’t said I love you yet (after a month??), but she has said “I’m attracted to you.” This is already way past what you should disclose to your students, but then her students convince her to practice saying it to photos of Terano on their phones. Another teacher walks in on what looks like her confessing her love to student, which is supposed to be a comedic moment, but it completely pulled me out of the story. Again, I know a teacher is likely not the intended audience here.
Even without that weirdness, I wasn’t into this story. It’s cute, but there are a lot of issues holding it back. It was originally published in a magazine format, and it feels disjointed. It also feels… I’m not sure the best way to say this, but it feels a bit indulgent, almost like fanservice. They are both blushing and cutesy, and there are so many closeups of kissing. There is a sex scene, but more than that are just a lot of panels of tongues. I’m all for sexy yuri, in fact, one of the things I liked about How Do We Relationship? was the frank sexual content, but it didn’t work for me here. It didn’t feel like a natural part of the story as much as suddenly zooming in on kissing over and over. There’s also a scene where Terano is admonished for always asking before touching or kissing Hayama and told basically that it makes her seem less enthusiastic, which I didn’t like.
I’m going to keep looking for yuri/lesbian manga with adult characters, but I was disappointed by this one.
Friends, today we gather to examine the illustrious career of noted bisexual and notorious grower of eyebrows Cara Jocelyn Delevingne. Who is Cara Delevingne’s 2020 girlfriend? Who are all of her previous girlfriends? Let’s talk about it.
Throughout the years we’ve been covering celebrity gossip, Ms Delevingne has been at the center of a lot of our programming. While our previous timeline of Demi Lovato was scattered with the occasional quiet period, no such silence exists for Delevigne, possibly the world’s most prolific bisexual with a long list of ex girlfriends. If there is Vapid Fluff drama to be found, it almost certainly concerns Cara, someone she’s dated, someone she’s about to date, or someone who doesn’t know that a year from now they’ll be dating Cara Delevingne. If you’re reading this right now and you haven’t dated Cara Delevingne, trust me: you will.
While assembling this detailed but by no means complete collection, it was striking how often journalists bulldozed over or otherwise completely dismissed Ms Delevingne’s bisexuality. You know who’s bisexual? Cara Delevingne. Even if she dates every woman in the whole world (and she seems like she’s trying), Cara’s bisexuality will still be a real and valid thing that exists!
These posts are intended to be living documents, so if there are important developments I’ve missed, please let me know in the comments and we will continue to add.
If this exhaustive list is only the publicly recorded incidents, imagine all the stuff we don’t know. Jesus.
Dec 27, 2013 – Miley Cyrus and Cara are photographed licking each others’ tongues, because contractually every queer person in Hollywood has to make out with Cara at least once. Miley was reportedly on a break from Liam Hemsworth at the time of this photograph.
January 8, 2014 – Cara Delevingne and Michelle Rodriguez teach the world at large about the beauty of their budding relationship bygetting waaaaasted and making out sloppily at a Knicks game. Riese and I have compared notes and determined that this magical moment constitutes the birth of the modern Vapid Fluff movement.
A sobering moment as Cara realizes she just personally created an entirely new genre of queer journalism.
Feb 18, 2014 – The relationship between Cara and Michelle Rodriguez is officially confirmed to the press.
Feb 23, 2014 – Michelle and Cara are named by Autostraddle as the “Gayest Couple Ever;” it is confirmed that the pair held hands while receiving an intravenous vitamin drip, which interestingly enough is not a euphemism for anything.
March 3, 2014 – Years before the world will end and Tiger King will become all we have left, Michelle and Cara visit a (notably unethical!!!) big cat reserve and photograph themselves bottle-feeding a tiger. This is apparently something Cara loves doing.
August 7, 2014 – Cara and Selena Gomez vacation together in Saint-Tropez. Rumors abound that the two are dating, which Selena later squashes though she does admit she loved every minute of it. “Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open… She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.” She sure is, kid.
November 6, 2014 – Did Cara give her costar Jack O’Connell this hickey? Sure seems like it.
March 2, 2015 – We began to suspect that Cara Delevingne and Annie Clark (aka St Vincent)might be dating. This post marked the debut of a paper doll I made of Cara to avoid having to post copyrighted tabloid shots from the Daily Mail. That thing is still kicking around my apartment somewhere; I found her when I was moving in August.
April 22, 2015 – A month and a half into this glorious relationship, we feared they might have broken up, but oh no:
June 19, 2015 – Cara and her eyebrows grace the cover of Vogue, and for the first time I learn that her name is pronounced KAH-rah. She publicly comments on her relationship for the first time – “I think that being in love with my girlfriend is a big part of why I’m feeling so happy with who I am these days. And for those words to come out of my mouth is actually a miracle.” Then the reporter is dismissive about her bisexuality, which is a fun treat for everyone:
She conveys a Millennial’s ennui at the expectation that she ought to settle upon a sexual orientation, and her interests—video games, yes; manicures, no—might register as gender-defiant in the realm of dresses and heels. (“I’m a bro-ey chick,” says Cara.)
And then this gem:
It took me a long time to accept the idea, until I first fell in love with a girl at 20 and recognized that I had to accept it,” she explains. “But I have erotic dreams only about men. I had one two nights ago where I went up to a guy in the back of a VW minivan, with a bunch of his friends around him, and pretty much jumped him.” Her parents seem to think girls are just a phase for Cara, and they may be correct. “Women are what completely inspire me, and they have also been my downfall. I have only been hurt by women, my mother first of all.
“The thing is,” she continues, “if I ever found a guy I could fall in love with, I’d want to marry him and have his children. And that scares me to death because I think I’m a whole bunch of crazy, and I always worry that a guy will walk away once he really, truly knows me.” When I suggest to Cara that to trust a man, she might have to revise an old and stubborn idea of hers—that women are perennially troubled and therefore only women will accept her—her smile says she concedes the point.
At this point, my eyeballs explode from rage. It will take me five years for them to grow back, at which point I will write this article, reread this quote about her smile conceding the point, and then they will explode again.
July 16, 2015 – Cara is profiled in the New York Times, and literally says, “My sexuality is not a phase.” The best part of bisexuality is having to repeat this over and over until you die!!!!
July 22, 2015 – Cara buys Annie this guitar, which is autographed by David Bowie. She wins every girlfriend award literally forever and none of us can even vaguely hope to top this extremely suave move.
December 16, 2015 – Cara brings Annie home to the Delevingne family Christmas, and Annie looks right at home among all the cheekbones. Things are pretty serious!
February 10, 2016 – Did Cara and Annie get engaged atop the Eiffel Tower? That’s what the tabloids think, even though this seems like too basic a move for these two weirdos.
October 4, 2016 – Hangs out with Dakota Johnson on her birthday, FaceTimes Taylor Swift. Not necessarily a bisexual move, but not not a bisexual move.
October 10, 2016 – Annie Clark is spotted roaming Astor Place in matchy outfits with Kristen Stewart, as one does. Tongues wag! Rumors fly! They seem to date for a while and it’s a real moment for everyone.
October 13, 2016 – What are Dakota Johnson and Cara up to? Just normal gal pal things:
November 24, 2016 – The internet says Cara ISN’T dating Amber Heard, despite a “flirty” friendship and rumored “lip locking” at Kendall Jenner’s 21st birthday party.
December 14, 2016 – Annie Clark is seen having dinner in Los Angeles with Cara, which sparks reconciliation rumors. Later, Annie releases mournful ballad “New York,” and we all try to guess which ex it’s about.
December 21, 2016 – Who among us has not cuddled up in the back of a car with their very good friend Amber Heard after leaving a wild party thrown by Rihanna?
March 20, 2017 – Cara is seen taking in a Broadway show with ex Annie Clark. If this isn’t gay enough for you, they were going to watch Cate Blanchett (she was starring in The Present at the time).
June 30, 2017 – In the upcoming August edition of Glamour, Cara has the unique pleasure of telling yet another journalist that she remains bisexual:
“Once I spoke about my sexual fluidity, people were like, ‘So you’re gay,’” she explains. “And I’m like, ‘No, I’m not gay…’ A lot of the friends I have who are straight have such an old way of thinking. It’s, ‘so you’re just gay, right?’ [They] don’t understand it. [If] I’m like, ‘Oh, I really like this guy,’ [they’re like], ‘But you’re gay.’ I’m like, ‘No, you’re so annoying!’ …Someone is in a relationship with a girl one minute, or a boy is in a relationship with a boy, I don’t want them to be pigeonholed. Imagine if I got married to a man. Would people be like — ‘she lied to us!’ It’s like, no.”
August 10, 2017 – Does Cara have a “creepy crush” on Rihanna? An anonymous source in a tabloid thinks so: “They used to be really close but when Cara said she had feelings for Ri, things went south.. Cara can be really intense and obsessive. She’ll just stare and stare at Rihanna and it makes Ri uncomfortable.” Sounds like they got me and Cara confused. Anyway, Gossip Cop says this story isn’t true.
August 12, 2017 – Is Cara bailing on her model friends to make room for all her new high-profile actress friends? OK’s source says, “Now she’s pestering [A-list actresses] with calls and emails, asking them out for lunch or coffee. She’s even willing to put aside her rivalry with Kristen Stewart.” Must be pretty serious! As Gossip Cop points out, this story is published while Cara is on vacation with a bunch of her model friends. Debunked!
September 27, 2017 – Annie Clark is profiled by Vogue UK and has this to say about Cara: “We’ll always be really close. I’ll love her forever… I fell in love with this very famous person. It’s not anything I was in any way ashamed of, so I wouldn’t have hidden it.”
December 6, 2017 – Cara is seen leaving a nightclub with 19-year-old Paris Jackson, allegedly bound for 25-year-old Delevigne’s hotel.
February 20, 2018 – Paris and Cara galavant around Europe, “doing little to quash romance rumors” and allegedly “hanging out and having fun.”
February 21, 2018 – Gossip Cop says Paris and Cara aren’t dating, because they never want me to have any fun. They also quote Jackson as saying, “Hand holding is a very common thing,” which I guess it is, but whatever.
March 21, 2018 – Anyway, a month later, Paris and Cara watch Carol in bed together and if THAT’S not gay I don’t know what to tell you.
March 27, 2018 – Paris Jackson and Cara are seen kissing and cavorting outside a restaurant while waiting for a table with Paris’ godfather Macaulay Culkin and his girlfriend. This is all the scientific evidence we need.
May 9, 2018 – We learn that Cara will be in the Elisabeth Moss film Her Smell, as a member of the band. Her costars will include rumored sometimes-paramour Amber Heard and her new pal Pretty Little Liars star Ashley Benson.
June 20, 2018 – While tabloids claim that Paris Jackson is now dating three women (Cara Delevingne, Ashley Benson and DJ Caroline D’Amore), Gossip Cop debunks the rumor. Paris also jumps in to offer her own salty rebuttal; seems like her situation with Cara may have soured. No word on Guy with the Man Bun.
i’ve never met miss benzo. caroline is one of my bestest friends who is **straight** and **married**, and also the mother of my godchild. cara and i were never officially exclusive, you guys made that up. https://t.co/mhXzZvdvLG
August 18, 2018 – Ashley attends Cara’s star-studded birthday party:
August 24, 2018 – Ashley Benson refuses to confirm her relationship with Cara to People and instead says she chooses to keep her relationships very private. “I think it’s the best way in any relationship… I’ve always been very private about them, and I think it’s just better.”
December 22, 2018 – I’m not sure what your tabloid-speculated maybe-girlfriend is doing for your birthday, but Cara rents out the Natural History Museum of London for Ashley. Like, not just to take in the exhibits, but with a bed surrounded by Christmas decorations. What a pal! She also makes two whale puns in one Instagram caption, which is illegal:
June 18, 2019 – You’d think the sex bench would have done it, but Cara finally goes ahead and confirms her big gay relationship with Ashley Benson via Instagram. When asked about the post by E! News during the TrevorLIVE Gala, Delevingne comments, “I don’t know because it is Pride, it’s been 50 years since Stonewall happened and I don’t know. It’s been just about our one year anniversary so, why not?” Later, she tells the world that her nickname for Ashley is Sprinkles, and everyone dies. Everyone is dead now.
October 10, 2019 – One thing Cara is doing on the Carnival Row press circuit is gushing about Ashley Benson. “It’s so nice to have someone in my life that supports me so much and loves me. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”
December 10, 2019 – Cara tweets and then deletes about a breakup with Ashley. The post is only up for 20 minutes. Was she hacked or is this just dyke drama?
May 6, 2020 – Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson announce that their romance is no more, that love remains a lie an all hope is dead. They like, extra did not get married in Mexico, as it turns out.
May 14, 2020 – Ashley Benson is seen kissing G-Eazy and fans of her relationship with Cara are appalled! Cara takes to her Instagram stories to ask her fans to lay off.
July 23, 2020 – Rumors start flying that Cara Delevingne, 28, is now dating model Kaia Gerber, 19. Personally I do not like the Cara Delevingne/Kaia Gerber age difference at all! It may surprise you to learn that Gossip Cop says this rumor is false.
August 13, 2020 – You know what Cara loves doing? Getting really ill-advised matching tattoos with women! To celebrate her birthday, she and Kaia got “solemates” tattooed on their feet so they can hold toes and it’s uncomfortable for me. Vogue calls it a “modern iteration of the friendship bracelet.”
A place for discussions for and by cis and trans lesbians, bisexual girls, chicks who like chicks, bi-curious folks, dykes, butches, femmes, girls who kiss girls, birls, bois, aces, LGBT allies, and anyone else interested! Our subreddit is named r/actuallesbians because r/lesbians is not really for or by lesbians–it was meant to be a joke. We’re not a militant or exclusive group, so feel free to join up!
For as long as I can remember, I’ve preferred my own company over the company of others. Some of it is anxiety, I’m sure. Some is probably insecurity.
But so much more of it is simply because I’m an introvert. I spent a lot of my childhood trying to fix my introversion – mistakenly thinking it was something I was just doing wrong. As I’ve grown up, however, I’ve learned that there’s nothing wrong with taking time for myself. Not only is it something I enjoy, but it’s something that I need as an introvert.
Introverts aren’t necessarily shy (although many are), they just cherish their quiet stillness and value their alone time. They recharge by themselves, as opposed to extroverts who are recharged by the energy of other people. That doesn’t mean an introvert and an extrovert aren’t compatible – it just means you need to know what you’re getting yourself into.
Introversion isn’t just one personality type.
While people are generally categorized as “an introvert” or “an extrovert,” the truth is that there is a lot of complexity within those two core types. When it comes to introverts, there’s a spectrum ranging all the way from antisocial introverts (those who would prefer to be alone because they think other people are terrible) to ambiverts (those who need time to be alone, but also need time around other people). Somewhere in the middle, there are selective introverts and shy introverts – those who are particular about the people in their lives and those who get nervous around new people, respectively.
Most introverts fall in the middle.
When you think of an introvert, you usually think of the antisocial introvert, but realistically most introverts aren’t antisocial – just selectively social. No one is in their life randomly; every day they interact with someone is a conscious choice. They are very choosy about who they get close to, so they’re not generally surrounded by a very large circle. You can trust that, if you’re in the circle of an introvert, they’ve already decided that you’re worth their time.
Introverts prefer deeper conversations.
Where extroverts can strike up a conversation with whoever they encounter, introverts don’t have such a luxury – so they’re very selective about the things they say, as well as who they say them to. Their conversations have direction and purpose, which means they’re not drawn to drama or mindless bickering. They’d prefer to work things out rather than just fight and argue.
Introverts are amazing listeners.
Introverts are attentive and thoughtful, and they take time to thoroughly process things before replying. This means that they won’t jump to hasty conclusions or speak just to hear themselves talk. They are concise with their own words, so they can better understand yours – including the ones you can’t express so well. If they can tell that it’s important to you, they’ll do their best to help you work through it.
Introverts are understanding, but they need you to understand, too.
Maybe it’s because of how much understanding they require in a relationship, but introverts tend to be some of the most understanding partners – as long as you’re not hurting them in the process. They need to feel appreciated and loved, so they’ll make sure you feel appreciated and loved. They need you to reach out first, because sometimes it’s hard to take that first step, but once the conversation starts, they’re ready to face it.
Introverts aren’t strangers to leaps of faith.
Generally speaking, introverts would prefer not to take unnecessary risks – so if the intro you’re interested in has given you the greenlight to pursue, understand that they’ve already invested a lot of thought into whether or not you’re worth it. They understand that love is a risky game to play, so just taking a chance on you is already a huge deal – make sure you’re playing fair!
Introverts need their own place to retreat.
It’s nothing personal, and it speaks nothing of your relationship, if the introvert you love needs to retreat to her own sanctuary occasionally (or often). Introverts need peace and intimacy, and they’d rather spend quality time with you than spend every minute by your side. Trust them, and respect their boundaries – the time you spend together is immensely valuable to them.
Introverts want to know their partner is satisfied.
Introverts are natural-born people-pleasers (well, with the exception of the antisocial introverts, of course). They will step out of their comfort zone if they think it will make their partner happy, and they remain concerned about their partner’s satisfaction during the entire relationship. They want to make sure you feel loved, appreciated, and happy from the first date to the very end.
Introverts are respectful whenever possible.
Your introvert love interest understands your need for personal space and privacy, because those are some of the deepest needs they have. They have high levels of emotional intelligence and would never want to impose. They also want to know that you feel your opinions are valued in the relationship, and they want you to speak up if something feels off – a roadmap to your happiness would likely be followed to the letter if you gave one.
Introverts are committed and loyal.
Relationships are a serious commitment to an introvert – they won’t enter one until after they’re sure of the other person. They may opt for loyalty before official title, and you might expect that you’re the only one they’re talking to even if you’re “just talking.” Cheating is out of the question – why would they stray from the person they’ve already committed themselves to?
Introverts will surprise you with their joy.
Just because an introvert needs a little extra time for themselves doesn’t mean that they’re boring – they just get joy from the simpler pleasures in life. The experiences they share with their most important people are precious, and they’ll enjoy those memories for years to come. To top it all off, they’ve got a witty sense of humor and are sure to make you laugh in the most unexpected ways.