Tag: friends

Come Vibe With Me: What About Your Friends?

Come Vibe With Me: What About Your Friends?

I had a truly tough go of it in junior high, especially in the world of friendship.

It was probably the most hellish time of my adolescence and the only moment where I can recall desperately wanting to have a life filled with tons of people. It wasn’t actual friendships I was seeking, it was the acceptance that I was after. I was so confused and couldn’t figure out why I’d been singled out by my peers to be basically tortured. I often tried to change so much of myself with the wish that the pain would stop and the friends would come, but it just made things worse and almost solidified in me that maybe I was meant to go through life without a crew.

Image shows blue neon text that says "if i could see all my friends tonight"
…but y’all won’t let me be great so.

As time passed and I stopped yearning for acceptance, I realized that what I actually wanted was just a few people I could honestly connect with. A circle of folks who would keep my secrets, hold space for me when I needed and who would fill my heart with laughter and love. I know that sounds like it should be framed and sold in an overpriced big box store, but it holds so much truth. Had I gotten the false acceptance I wanted in junior high, my friendships today would be unstable shams.

My group (or pham, as we call ourselves) is small and I’ve said before that it’s Sasha Obama levels of tight. I don’t have the need to surround myself with tons of people, I have too much peace to protect and very little energy to give for a lifestyle like that. I also keep it small because I don’t want it to be a one-way thing; I want to pour into, support and love those who so willingly do that for me.

I write about caring for your homies often, but that’s because true friendship lights me up and raises my vibrations. When I connect with this weirdly perfect group of miscreants the universe has aligned me with, I’m thankful. Thankful for the joy they bring me, for the waves of sweetness and sass that I experience with them, and thankful that I finally found my crew.

Happy Sunday sweeties.


Y’all Come Look at This


I really loved this beautiful piece on grief over on Amaliah, we all experience the emotion differently and sometimes I’m grateful for the feeling of it.

I didn’t watch even a snip of yall’s little inauguration, but what I did see on the Twitter was Michelle Obama’s hair and I cared about it A LOT. The hairstylist behind it was Yene Damtew and hello I’d love to book an appointment.

Ayo Edebiri makes me laugh on a constant basis, we all know how I feel about Libras but for real all I want to do is watch Love Island with her and look at her Letterboxd on commerical breaks.

I will never stop talking about Regina King and guess what? This interview all about her at 28 makes me love her even more.

Flo Milli makes me feel like a cool step-sister and her she’s talking manifestations and looking stunning in this piece over at Refinery29.

Arabella Sweets wants us to unpack our whorephobia, truly support sex workers, and finally to quit acting like sex work is some get rich quick vibe like some actresses would like us to think it is.

Image shows four black men (Sam Cooke, Muhammed Ali, Jim Brown and Malcolm X) staring into the camera while behind them there is an image of The Hampton House Hotel.

One Night in Miami

“Four Legends. One Legendary Night”

The two main things that drew me to One Night in Miami were Sam Cooke (portrayed by Leslie Odom Jr.) and the fact that it is the directoral debut of Regina King.

My mother’s favorite singer is Sam Cooke. She has all his albums (originals mind you) and we would spend many a morning singing, dancing, and twisting the day away. So when I heard about this film, I was mad excited.

It takes hella artistic license on the evening of February 25, 1964 — where earlier that day Muhammad Ali (still known as Cassius Clay) became the heavyweight boxing champion of the world. He then went to kick it with Sam Cooke, Jim Brown and Malcolm X, who was his spiritual mentor in the nation of Islam. Honestly, yikes to all these men but the movie is good.

This night actually did happen and while we don’t know the true details, the film is dope in the way it imagines it.

Watch the trailer here!


On the bulletin board this week The Estuary Collective wants you to submit your hottest poems for their first-ever zine! Also, The Black Queer Rent Relief fund has been sending out funds to people to try to help folks keep a roof over their head, if you have it to spare, donate funds so they can continue to help others. Lastly, Arm The Girls is raising funds to send 15 QTBIPOC Femmes to self-defense classes, the attendees will be PAID and they are THISCLOSE to their goal — help them meet it today!!!

If you have anything happening that you think would be a good fit for the community love virtual billboard, send it my way via Instagram. Please remember that anything you send must have a focus on people of color.


Stay in tune to the folks in your life that light you up, and say goodbye to the ones that don’t serve you.

Featured Image is by Brianna Santellan from Unsplash.

You know what’s cooler than two high school boys in love? Their wacky friends… / Queerty

You know what’s cooler than two high school boys in

Welcome to Screen Gems, our weekend dive into queer and queer-adjacent titles of the past that deserve a watch or a rewatch.

The Stolen Scenes: Beautiful Thing

This 1996 romantic comedy about two British high school boys in love helped pave the way for countless other queer films, and foreshadowed the success of Love, SimonBeautiful Thing follows the story of Jamie (Glen Berry), a teen hopelessly infatuated with his classmate Ste (Scott Neal). Both hail from rough family situations: Jamie’s mother Sandra (Linda Henry) goes through one eccentric man after the next, while Ste’s father struggles with drugs, and beats his son. One night, when Ste gets a particularly nasty beating, Sandra takes in Ste to sleep over. Sparks immediately fly between he and Jamie as the two boys come to discover their budding sexuality.

Pretty straightforward, right? Jamie and Ste are the least interesting elements of Beautiful Thing. While Berry and Neal both go easy on the eyes and give fine performances, they come off rather bland when compared to the post-hippie Sandra, and, in particular, Leah (Tameka Empson) a sassy neighbor with a Mama Cass obsession that befriends the boys. Both Leah and Sandra steal the movie right out from under their handsome co-stars: the two ladies have much more developed and complicated personalities, and are a lot more fun to watch.

Sweet, tender and very funny, Beautiful Thing feels like an innocent, welcome breath of fresh air in a time of political crisis. Watch it, and dream of a more beautiful tomorrow for queer kids everywhere.

Streams on Amazon, VUDU & YouTube.

 

This vintage photo of two lifeguards who were maybe probably more than friends has everyone talking / Queerty

This vintage photo of two lifeguards who were maybe probably

An old black and white photo of two male lifeguards has gone viral on Reddit because of the inscription written on the back.

The message, dated March 26, 1949, seems to suggest the two young men, Buzz and Tommy, were maybe probably more than friends.

“To Buzz, I’ll always remember the times we spent together. All my love, Your Tommy,” it reads.

Although the message is dated 1949, it’s not totally clear what year the photo was taken. Nor is it known where it’s from. But it has everyone on Reddit talking.

“This just gave me the best gay feels,” one person comments.

“So beautiful,” another writes. “Would absolutely watch a movie of this love story.”

Related: PHOTOS: Discover the homoerotic work of vintage photographer George Platt Lynes

“This makes me sad,” a third person says. “To me it reads as a goodbye note.”

“It has that whole ‘we can never be together’ vibe about it,” comments another.

“I wonder if they had to get married,” someone else adds. “Or if they were lifeguards and the summer was over and they had to go back to their lives of lies.”

And then there’s this gem: “It may have been 1948 but it was the summer of 69.”

Related: PHOTOS: Vintage Pics From Waikiki’s Gay Beaches Prove That Speedos Never Go Out Of Style

Even Kayleigh McEnany’s friends think she’s a “horrible person”, sooooo what’s she gonna do next? / Queerty

Even Kayleigh McEnany’s friends think she’s a “horrible person”, sooooo

Everyone’s talking about what White House propagandist Kayleigh McEnany will do after she’s out of a job next month and whether she’ll ever be able to find honest work again.

When she first started her current role back in April, McEnany famously told reporters, “I will never lie to you. You have my word on that.”

Since then, she’s told so many lies and partial truths that it’s virtually impossible to keep track of them all.

She’s also made a ton of enemies and squandered whatever credibility she once had by defending a man poised to go down as the worst president in American history.

Just last week, CNN’s chief White House correspondent Jim Acosta flat out asked McEnany, “Isn’t it hypocritical of you to accuse others of disinformation when you spread it every day?”

Sooooo, yeah, she’s not exactly the most liked person inside the beltway.

The Independent reports:

Her predecessors under previous administrations could, on leaving the White House, have their pick of any plum — very highly paid — positions.

Barack Obama had three press secretaries, who all dabbled in television work on leaving the White House; one then went to head up global communications for McDonald’s, another for Amazon, another for United Airlines.

Ms McEnany might not have that luxury, unless she fancies a job with My Pillow, whose owner Mike Lindell is slavishly devoted to the president.

Prior to working in the White House, McEnany regularly appeared as a paid commentator on various cable news networks, ranging from Fox News to CNN.

While Fox News might scoop her up again, it seems highly unlikely any other network will. And even Fox News isn’t a guarantee given Donald Trump‘s recent attacks on the network and threats to start his own competing one.

Meghan Milloy, who works for GOP Women for Progress and knows McEnany personally, tells the Independent that she thinks she’ll probably land on her feet, saying she’s “great at what she does.”

“She spins facts into not facts,” Milloy says. “She can defend anyone, even the absolutely worst humans.”

Hmmm. We’re not sure that’s a positive attribute, but OK.

“I do wish she hadn’t got stuck into this defense of racism, and bigotry, and lies,” Milloy adds with a tone of regret. “She’s great, she’s smart, she’s fun.”

“If you didn’t realize what she was doing for a day job, you wouldn’t think she was a horrible person.”

Milloy says she could see McEnany landing a book deal. Or possibly taking a job at Trump’s network, if it ever comes into fruition. There’s also a chance she could run for office herself, though she hasn’t publicly expressed interest in doing so.

As for McEnany, she seems to be leaving her next chapter up to the man upstairs.

During a recent sit-down with the vehemently homophobic website Daily Caller, she said, “Faith is the reason I’m here.”

She added that her career has “fit together like a woven web because God had a path lined up for me as He does for every person on Earth and all you have to do is trust Him and follow the path and pray and he makes all the dots fit together.”

Related: Kayleigh McEnany’s husband crashes press briefing, argues with reporter after refusing to wear mask

Lil’ queer unicorn I drew for my friend’s gay ass (as part of a birthday gift). Just wanted to share it with you peeps🏳️‍🌈 : actuallesbians

Lil' queer unicorn I drew for my friend's gay ass

A place for discussions for and by cis and trans lesbians, bisexual girls, chicks who like chicks, bi-curious folks, dykes, butches, femmes, girls who kiss girls, birls, bois, aces, LGBT allies, and anyone else interested! Our subreddit is named r/actuallesbians because r/lesbians is not really for or by lesbians–it was meant to be a joke. We’re not a militant or exclusive group, so feel free to join up!

People are feeling the love between these straight, best friends / Queerty

People are feeling the love between these straight, best friends

The two straight, best friends
(Photo: Honeybee’s Photography)

When a woman posted a series of photos to social media of her fiancé and his best friend last week, she had little idea how they would strike a chord with so many.

“How hilarious is this session?” said Kait Lewis, who recently launched her photo portrait service: Honeybee’s Photography. “My fiancé’s bestie came to town so I jumped at the opportunity to capture their *unique* friendship!”

The two men are both straight and have known each other since eighth grade. Lewis’ fiancé, Devon, is the one with the beard.

The men were photographed wearing similar clothing, holding hands, and pouring beer into each other’s mouths. Lewis added a lighthearted suggestion that beer company Busch sponsor the photos.

(Photo: Honeybee’s Photography)

Within a couple of days, the photos had prompted thousands of reactions and comments.

Most applauded the shoot.

“This is definitely hilarious and I love it,” said one well-liked comment. “Don’t get caught up in the haterade — you don’t need their money and they wouldn’t give it to you anyway. Well done!!! BFFs are well worth documenting and your shoot production is spot on.”

(Photo: Honeybee’s Photography)

“This is amazing!” said another woman. “My husband and his best friend would totally take photos like this because… surprise! They love each other and are comfortable in their sexuality.”

Related: Father and son go viral dancing to ‘Frozen’: “This is what healthy masculinity looks like”

Some questioned why Lewis had added a ‘viewer discretion’ warning at the start of her post.

“I LOVE these photos!” said one gay man. “It’s important to show two men can have a friendship like this and it be completely okay. Disappointed in the “viewer discretion advised”. I saw that you said you’re a family-friendly business, but if this were a male-female couple, or two female friends the advisory wouldn’t be there. As a gay man, I’m disappointed because it only perpetuates male physical contact as inappropriate which encourages fragile masculinity and homophobia.”

(Photo: Honeybee’s Photography)

Comments like this prompted Lewis to add a clarification to her original posting.

“The viewer discretion was added because I am a family-friendly photographer and the sexual posing and alcohol needed to be warned to AVOID offending people. It has nothing to do with the genders.

“Everybody’s interpretation on what is sexual and what is not is very different. TO ME, some of the photos are out of my normal comfort zone, and that’s all that matters. I stand by the advisory and will not be removing it. I wasn’t anticipating this post to reach 6,000,000+ people in a matter of 2 days.

“This photoshoot was meant for fun. His bestie lives five hours away and we only see him a few times a year. We wanted to have a good time while he was visiting.

“If you are offended by ANY of this (the photos or the caption), feel free to keep scrolling!”

(Photo: Honeybee’s Photography)

Some people began to post their own photos of straight men hugging or showing affection to their besties.

Lewis is based in the Shenandoah Valley, Virginia. She told Queerty she’s only been taking photographs for the past month.

“My fiancé and I are having an elopement-style wedding on top of a Mesa in Utah, and in looking for a photographer of our own, it sparked an interest for me! A few years ago I bought a DSLR as an impulse Black Friday buy but I never used it until now. After 23 years of having absolutely no talent, I think I’ve finally found my niche.”

Related: Straight men share “gay” things they enjoy doing and you almost feel sorry for them

She says she met her fiancé a year and a half ago and, “fell in love immediately. We’ve since traveled most of the USA and plan to continue our life of travel for as long as we can. We have two dogs and a beautiful little home with a great view of the mountains. We just got engaged on June 12th, 2020, and are getting married on April 10th, 2021.”

She says she was “shocked” when the post went viral, but that she and her fiancé have enjoyed reading all the comments (over 13,000 at the time of writing). She believes it’s important to capture moments like this between friends and loved ones.

(Photo: Honeybee’s Photography)

“I never anticipated so many people seeing Devon in daisy dukes. I mainly posted it to give our friends and family a good laugh. When the numbers kept rising and rising we were just in awe.

“We wanted to show that it’s perfectly okay to show intimacy with your best friend, regardless of your gender… and have a good laugh, because it was fun to do so!”

“Some objections of the photos included my caption in giving a “viewer discretion advised” warning. I have since edited my caption to explain the meaning behind this but I stood my ground, still believe it is necessary, and will not be removing it.

“People initially thought I added the advisory because the photos were of two men, which is not the case. I added the advisory because I am a family-friendly photographer. Some of the photos suggest oral sex positions, as well as include alcohol. I posted it to avoid offending anybody who may not want to view that. Since I’ve said this, people are still unhappy, saying that they don’t think some of the photos are sexual. To me, that is subjective … For the most part, the LGBTQ community has been so loving and supportive over the post.”

Related: Trump’s Department of Justice files court statement supporting an anti-gay wedding photographer

Unlike some photographers, Lewis also wanted to reassure people she’d be very happy to shoot same-sex couples and weddings.

“Absolutely!” she told Queerty. “People who refuse clients for any reason regarding who they love is beyond me. It’s baffling, disgusting, and downright ridiculous. The sex of the people getting married makes no difference to me.”

I don’t know about yall but when my friends and I go out. I’ll be chillin while they get ready 😄 : actuallesbians

I don’t know about yall but when my friends and

A place for discussions for and by cis and trans lesbians, bisexual girls, chicks who like chicks, bi-curious folks, dykes, butches, femmes, girls who kiss girls, birls, bois, aces, LGBT allies, and anyone else interested! Our subreddit is named r/actuallesbians because r/lesbians is not really for or by lesbians–it was meant to be a joke. We’re not a militant or exclusive group, so feel free to join up!