We survived another week and now here is Boobs on Your Tube, with some television as a treat! To begin, it’s basically now The Symone Show on Rupaul’s Drag Race and we’re not complaining! We brought back our Lost Movie Reviews project and Drew’s telling us all about Water Lilies as a memory of gay adolescence. Drew’s also here to tell you all about The Lady and the Dale on HBO Max — which she says is a fascinating portrait of trans con artist Elizabeth Carmichael, and that recommendation carries a lot weight with us! On Riverdale, Toni Topaz has finally become the major player we knew she was all along. Good Trouble returned for its third season, and Natalie wrote a stunning recap of our last year living under COVID. The TV Team took over the Batwoman recap — just for this week only! — to do our signature funny captions on screen caps, and you don’t want to miss it! To L and Back keeps chugging away on L Word Season Six, despite the fact that it never happened (the guest star this week is our very own No Filter writer Christina Tucker, so you know it’s a good time!).
We also have two very fun lists that you will enjoy with some hot cocoa this weekend:54 Straight Actresses Who Play Gay The Mostby Riese and ’80s and ’90s Sitcom Characters, Ranked by Lesbianism written by the entire team and curated for your hearts by our beloved Heather Hogan.
Notes from the TV Team:
Black Lightning returned for its final season two weeks ago, but we haven’t talked about it in this space because Grace Choi is still in her coma and Anissa hasn’t had much to do. Well this week Anissa started making “friends” with another doctor at her mom’s lab, Darius. They seem to be getting to know each other in a funny, kind, platonic way, but with Grace still in a coma I am on high alert until she returns. — Carmen
Queen Sugar also returned for a new season this week! And in the premiere episode, Nova Bordelon gives herself one helluva an absolutely gorgeous gay haircut. — Carmen
+ CBS giveth and it taketh away: the network — which currently ranks last among broadcast networks in LGBTQ representation — cancelled NCIS: New Orleans this week, ending Tammy Gregorio’s time in the Big Easy. Thankfully, though, CBS will keep their paltry 2.9% rating in tact with Low Country starring Uzo Aduba. The former OINTB star will play a lesbian deputy sheriff in South Carolina’s low country. — Natalie
+ I had high hopes for S.W.A.T.‘s return this week. I thought watching her friend/roommate/mentee die would send Chris on a tailspin and we’d get to watch Lina Esco dig into some meaty material. Boy was I wrong! Instead, we got to watch Chris cry into her phone and men who’d barely shared a screen with Erika talk about their grief. Dreadful. — Natalie
Written by Natalie
After last week’s realization that Spencer holds Coop responsible for the shooting that injured his arm and has jeopardized his future, this week’s episode of All American feels like a ticking time bomb. The entire hour is spent just waiting for the truth to come out and for the heart of this show to experience its first real fracture. For most of the hour, Spencer chooses avoidance over confrontation: he skips church, he sends her calls straight to voice mail, he avoids her when he spots her at school.
Coop’s frustrated by the distance but her preoccupation with Tyrone’s sister has her distracted. Mo’s offering her legal services free of charge to everyone in the community and Coop’s mystified that people can’t see through her rouse. Patience seems willing to give Mo the benefit but Coop remains unconvinced: Mo’s still “a wolf in a wolf’s sweater” and she doesn’t trust her. Eager to talk about anything else, Patience urges Coop to change the subject and she asks for an update on the lawsuit against JP. There’s no news from Layla yet but her lawyers believe they have a good case. And, of course, right at that moment, Mo happens by and offers to use her experience with music contracts to help Patience.
“Actually, no, we don’t need your help or your business card or your ear hustle, alright?” Coop interjects, before pulling Patience away.
But later, Patience circles back to meet with Mo. Worried about what a lawsuit might do to Layla’s relationship with her father, Patience opts to handle it on her own and recruits Mo to help her. Before their meeting gets started, Patience makes her allegiances clear: she’s Coop’s girl and if Mo really only moved back to Crenshaw to get revenge on Coop, Mo will have to deal with her first. Mo takes the not-so-subtle threat in stride and offers her help to the budding songstress. Within days, Mo’s able to secure Patience’s release.
Sufficed to say, Coop doesn’t take the news of Mo’s involvement well. Patience urges Coop to let go of this “imaginary beef” and just live the dream they’ve always had to make music together. But Coop can’t let go… later when she finally gets to sit down with Spencer, she’s still fuming from Patience’s betrayal. She explains that Patience accused her of going around looking for a fight and looks to him to share her dismay. He doesn’t.
Spencer recalls all the times he warned Coop and she didn’t listen — with Shawn, with the gang, with Tyrone — and now he’s paying the price for her obstinance. Coop reminds Spencer that he was the one who told her the shooting wasn’t her fault… which Spencer acknowledges.
He also acknowledges, with tears in his eyes, that he was wrong.
I still think they could have used Bess’s queerness to their advantage but whatever, this works too.
In this week’s Nancy Drew, lesbian love literally saved everyone’s life. Well, almost everyone’s life. The time had come to finally face the Aglaeca and her death curse, and when their first encounter with her was successful they thought they were safe for good but they quickly learned that violence wasn’t the answer. So they decide that the next time they encountered the sea witch, they would appeal to the human inside her. More specifically, the lesbian inside her. So when she shows up, they all start reading her love letters to/from an Englishwoman to her, though it’s not until they say the words they knew by heart that the Aglaeca turned into the lovely visage of Odette.
Nancy reaches for her, tells Odette that she’s not her trauma, she’s not what they did to her. “You are strength and sadness and fear and passion. You were human, you are not forgotten. You are loved.”
Odette leaves in a bit of a storm (in which Nancy and Bess cling to one another JUST SAYING) but it seems their death curse is lifted for now…until they realize the storm knocked loose a harpoon decoration and impaled George. Nancy rushed off and found a magic shroud and brought George back to life, but suddenly the girl who couldn’t make heads or tails of French is singing a French song fluently and Odette is lurking in her reflection, so I think we haven’t seen the last of this lesbian ghostie.
Why yes I AM screaming about how cute this is, thanks for asking.
I still will forever ship Hope and Josie (for example, Josie was the only one to believe Hope before she restored their memories of her after another dip in the Malavore pond) but if I can’t have that, I just want at least one of them to be dating a girl, and it seems like I might get my wish with Josie.
While probably not the one to date Josie, Hope might be starting to find her way back to herself after spending some time in the therapy box. She finds herself in an 80s slasher flick and all her friends are killed off one by one as she searches and searches for Landon. She finally finds herself alone and face to face with the killer and says she lost everything, says the bad guy won, but because she’s Hope Mikaelson, she continues to fight. She bests the baddie only to learn that the killer was Landon. She lost all her friends because she was too focused on her boyfriend. A little on the nose but effective as far as metaphors go.
When Josie goes to orientation at Mystic Falls High, a new player enters the chat. Her name is Finch and her and Josie exchange immediately LOOKS and Finch leads her on a tour of the school. After the tour, Finch calls Josie out on staring at her and Josie asks why Ethan was so shifty with her earlier. Finch admits that she dated Maya and flipped out a bit when she left town, and even though Finch’s whole vibe screamed queer, it was nice to get the facts out of the way right off the bat. Josie, emboldened by the possibility of having something that’s just hers – not her dad’s, not her sister’s, not Hope’s – asks Finch to eat lunch together. They flirt and it’s VERY cute and Finch accepts the offer and as they walk away, Josie briefly loses her cool and smiles all giddy-like. It’s perfectly adorable.
And for the first time in quite a few episodes, I finally have (pardon the expression) hope for the rest of the season.
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Nick Jr. children’s show Blue’s Clues & You! has released a new alphabet video for kids celebrating “how each letter of the Alphabet is special!” We see that “P Is Full of Pride” with an array of varied Pride flags, including the trangender, nonbinary, bisexual, pansexual, intersex, genderfluid, asexual, lesbian, and rainbow flags. Watch it here.
“Every single letter is unique/And don’t forget/We need all these different sounds/To make our alphabet,” says the song. Some of the letters have clear messages of diversity (“E is for Everyone,” with figures of different skin tones and physical abilities); others are simply fun (“D likes to Dance all day”). We see that “P is full of Pride” right after “O”—but we also see the extended rainbow “P” floating past in some other places, too.
Sammi WS Chan, a designer/animator at Nick Jr. who worked on the images for the video, tweeted today, “The first thing that came to my mind was P is for pride when I got the script. I am so excited that all of ya’ll are as happy as I am! I also did all the letters and graphics for this episode to be as inclusive as possible for Black History Month!”
Bonus fun fact: In 2013, actor Tom Mizer, who played human protagonist Steve in the first national tour of the Blues Clues Live show, fell in love with his understudy, Travis McGhie. The New York Times ran an adorable video in which the pair explain their initially tense relationship and eventual romance.
Watch the video below. Is it too much to ask that they publish this as a book, too?
Friends, today we gather to examine the illustrious career of noted bisexual and notorious grower of eyebrows Cara Jocelyn Delevingne. Who is Cara Delevingne’s 2020 girlfriend? Who are all of her previous girlfriends? Let’s talk about it.
Throughout the years we’ve been covering celebrity gossip, Ms Delevingne has been at the center of a lot of our programming. While our previous timeline of Demi Lovato was scattered with the occasional quiet period, no such silence exists for Delevigne, possibly the world’s most prolific bisexual with a long list of ex girlfriends. If there is Vapid Fluff drama to be found, it almost certainly concerns Cara, someone she’s dated, someone she’s about to date, or someone who doesn’t know that a year from now they’ll be dating Cara Delevingne. If you’re reading this right now and you haven’t dated Cara Delevingne, trust me: you will.
While assembling this detailed but by no means complete collection, it was striking how often journalists bulldozed over or otherwise completely dismissed Ms Delevingne’s bisexuality. You know who’s bisexual? Cara Delevingne. Even if she dates every woman in the whole world (and she seems like she’s trying), Cara’s bisexuality will still be a real and valid thing that exists!
These posts are intended to be living documents, so if there are important developments I’ve missed, please let me know in the comments and we will continue to add.
If this exhaustive list is only the publicly recorded incidents, imagine all the stuff we don’t know. Jesus.
Dec 27, 2013 – Miley Cyrus and Cara are photographed licking each others’ tongues, because contractually every queer person in Hollywood has to make out with Cara at least once. Miley was reportedly on a break from Liam Hemsworth at the time of this photograph.
January 8, 2014 – Cara Delevingne and Michelle Rodriguez teach the world at large about the beauty of their budding relationship bygetting waaaaasted and making out sloppily at a Knicks game. Riese and I have compared notes and determined that this magical moment constitutes the birth of the modern Vapid Fluff movement.
A sobering moment as Cara realizes she just personally created an entirely new genre of queer journalism.
Feb 18, 2014 – The relationship between Cara and Michelle Rodriguez is officially confirmed to the press.
Feb 23, 2014 – Michelle and Cara are named by Autostraddle as the “Gayest Couple Ever;” it is confirmed that the pair held hands while receiving an intravenous vitamin drip, which interestingly enough is not a euphemism for anything.
March 3, 2014 – Years before the world will end and Tiger King will become all we have left, Michelle and Cara visit a (notably unethical!!!) big cat reserve and photograph themselves bottle-feeding a tiger. This is apparently something Cara loves doing.
August 7, 2014 – Cara and Selena Gomez vacation together in Saint-Tropez. Rumors abound that the two are dating, which Selena later squashes though she does admit she loved every minute of it. “Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open… She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.” She sure is, kid.
November 6, 2014 – Did Cara give her costar Jack O’Connell this hickey? Sure seems like it.
March 2, 2015 – We began to suspect that Cara Delevingne and Annie Clark (aka St Vincent)might be dating. This post marked the debut of a paper doll I made of Cara to avoid having to post copyrighted tabloid shots from the Daily Mail. That thing is still kicking around my apartment somewhere; I found her when I was moving in August.
April 22, 2015 – A month and a half into this glorious relationship, we feared they might have broken up, but oh no:
June 19, 2015 – Cara and her eyebrows grace the cover of Vogue, and for the first time I learn that her name is pronounced KAH-rah. She publicly comments on her relationship for the first time – “I think that being in love with my girlfriend is a big part of why I’m feeling so happy with who I am these days. And for those words to come out of my mouth is actually a miracle.” Then the reporter is dismissive about her bisexuality, which is a fun treat for everyone:
She conveys a Millennial’s ennui at the expectation that she ought to settle upon a sexual orientation, and her interests—video games, yes; manicures, no—might register as gender-defiant in the realm of dresses and heels. (“I’m a bro-ey chick,” says Cara.)
And then this gem:
It took me a long time to accept the idea, until I first fell in love with a girl at 20 and recognized that I had to accept it,” she explains. “But I have erotic dreams only about men. I had one two nights ago where I went up to a guy in the back of a VW minivan, with a bunch of his friends around him, and pretty much jumped him.” Her parents seem to think girls are just a phase for Cara, and they may be correct. “Women are what completely inspire me, and they have also been my downfall. I have only been hurt by women, my mother first of all.
“The thing is,” she continues, “if I ever found a guy I could fall in love with, I’d want to marry him and have his children. And that scares me to death because I think I’m a whole bunch of crazy, and I always worry that a guy will walk away once he really, truly knows me.” When I suggest to Cara that to trust a man, she might have to revise an old and stubborn idea of hers—that women are perennially troubled and therefore only women will accept her—her smile says she concedes the point.
At this point, my eyeballs explode from rage. It will take me five years for them to grow back, at which point I will write this article, reread this quote about her smile conceding the point, and then they will explode again.
July 16, 2015 – Cara is profiled in the New York Times, and literally says, “My sexuality is not a phase.” The best part of bisexuality is having to repeat this over and over until you die!!!!
July 22, 2015 – Cara buys Annie this guitar, which is autographed by David Bowie. She wins every girlfriend award literally forever and none of us can even vaguely hope to top this extremely suave move.
December 16, 2015 – Cara brings Annie home to the Delevingne family Christmas, and Annie looks right at home among all the cheekbones. Things are pretty serious!
February 10, 2016 – Did Cara and Annie get engaged atop the Eiffel Tower? That’s what the tabloids think, even though this seems like too basic a move for these two weirdos.
October 4, 2016 – Hangs out with Dakota Johnson on her birthday, FaceTimes Taylor Swift. Not necessarily a bisexual move, but not not a bisexual move.
October 10, 2016 – Annie Clark is spotted roaming Astor Place in matchy outfits with Kristen Stewart, as one does. Tongues wag! Rumors fly! They seem to date for a while and it’s a real moment for everyone.
October 13, 2016 – What are Dakota Johnson and Cara up to? Just normal gal pal things:
November 24, 2016 – The internet says Cara ISN’T dating Amber Heard, despite a “flirty” friendship and rumored “lip locking” at Kendall Jenner’s 21st birthday party.
December 14, 2016 – Annie Clark is seen having dinner in Los Angeles with Cara, which sparks reconciliation rumors. Later, Annie releases mournful ballad “New York,” and we all try to guess which ex it’s about.
December 21, 2016 – Who among us has not cuddled up in the back of a car with their very good friend Amber Heard after leaving a wild party thrown by Rihanna?
March 20, 2017 – Cara is seen taking in a Broadway show with ex Annie Clark. If this isn’t gay enough for you, they were going to watch Cate Blanchett (she was starring in The Present at the time).
June 30, 2017 – In the upcoming August edition of Glamour, Cara has the unique pleasure of telling yet another journalist that she remains bisexual:
“Once I spoke about my sexual fluidity, people were like, ‘So you’re gay,’” she explains. “And I’m like, ‘No, I’m not gay…’ A lot of the friends I have who are straight have such an old way of thinking. It’s, ‘so you’re just gay, right?’ [They] don’t understand it. [If] I’m like, ‘Oh, I really like this guy,’ [they’re like], ‘But you’re gay.’ I’m like, ‘No, you’re so annoying!’ …Someone is in a relationship with a girl one minute, or a boy is in a relationship with a boy, I don’t want them to be pigeonholed. Imagine if I got married to a man. Would people be like — ‘she lied to us!’ It’s like, no.”
August 10, 2017 – Does Cara have a “creepy crush” on Rihanna? An anonymous source in a tabloid thinks so: “They used to be really close but when Cara said she had feelings for Ri, things went south.. Cara can be really intense and obsessive. She’ll just stare and stare at Rihanna and it makes Ri uncomfortable.” Sounds like they got me and Cara confused. Anyway, Gossip Cop says this story isn’t true.
August 12, 2017 – Is Cara bailing on her model friends to make room for all her new high-profile actress friends? OK’s source says, “Now she’s pestering [A-list actresses] with calls and emails, asking them out for lunch or coffee. She’s even willing to put aside her rivalry with Kristen Stewart.” Must be pretty serious! As Gossip Cop points out, this story is published while Cara is on vacation with a bunch of her model friends. Debunked!
September 27, 2017 – Annie Clark is profiled by Vogue UK and has this to say about Cara: “We’ll always be really close. I’ll love her forever… I fell in love with this very famous person. It’s not anything I was in any way ashamed of, so I wouldn’t have hidden it.”
December 6, 2017 – Cara is seen leaving a nightclub with 19-year-old Paris Jackson, allegedly bound for 25-year-old Delevigne’s hotel.
February 20, 2018 – Paris and Cara galavant around Europe, “doing little to quash romance rumors” and allegedly “hanging out and having fun.”
February 21, 2018 – Gossip Cop says Paris and Cara aren’t dating, because they never want me to have any fun. They also quote Jackson as saying, “Hand holding is a very common thing,” which I guess it is, but whatever.
March 21, 2018 – Anyway, a month later, Paris and Cara watch Carol in bed together and if THAT’S not gay I don’t know what to tell you.
March 27, 2018 – Paris Jackson and Cara are seen kissing and cavorting outside a restaurant while waiting for a table with Paris’ godfather Macaulay Culkin and his girlfriend. This is all the scientific evidence we need.
May 9, 2018 – We learn that Cara will be in the Elisabeth Moss film Her Smell, as a member of the band. Her costars will include rumored sometimes-paramour Amber Heard and her new pal Pretty Little Liars star Ashley Benson.
June 20, 2018 – While tabloids claim that Paris Jackson is now dating three women (Cara Delevingne, Ashley Benson and DJ Caroline D’Amore), Gossip Cop debunks the rumor. Paris also jumps in to offer her own salty rebuttal; seems like her situation with Cara may have soured. No word on Guy with the Man Bun.
i’ve never met miss benzo. caroline is one of my bestest friends who is **straight** and **married**, and also the mother of my godchild. cara and i were never officially exclusive, you guys made that up. https://t.co/mhXzZvdvLG
August 18, 2018 – Ashley attends Cara’s star-studded birthday party:
August 24, 2018 – Ashley Benson refuses to confirm her relationship with Cara to People and instead says she chooses to keep her relationships very private. “I think it’s the best way in any relationship… I’ve always been very private about them, and I think it’s just better.”
December 22, 2018 – I’m not sure what your tabloid-speculated maybe-girlfriend is doing for your birthday, but Cara rents out the Natural History Museum of London for Ashley. Like, not just to take in the exhibits, but with a bed surrounded by Christmas decorations. What a pal! She also makes two whale puns in one Instagram caption, which is illegal:
June 18, 2019 – You’d think the sex bench would have done it, but Cara finally goes ahead and confirms her big gay relationship with Ashley Benson via Instagram. When asked about the post by E! News during the TrevorLIVE Gala, Delevingne comments, “I don’t know because it is Pride, it’s been 50 years since Stonewall happened and I don’t know. It’s been just about our one year anniversary so, why not?” Later, she tells the world that her nickname for Ashley is Sprinkles, and everyone dies. Everyone is dead now.
October 10, 2019 – One thing Cara is doing on the Carnival Row press circuit is gushing about Ashley Benson. “It’s so nice to have someone in my life that supports me so much and loves me. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”
December 10, 2019 – Cara tweets and then deletes about a breakup with Ashley. The post is only up for 20 minutes. Was she hacked or is this just dyke drama?
May 6, 2020 – Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson announce that their romance is no more, that love remains a lie an all hope is dead. They like, extra did not get married in Mexico, as it turns out.
May 14, 2020 – Ashley Benson is seen kissing G-Eazy and fans of her relationship with Cara are appalled! Cara takes to her Instagram stories to ask her fans to lay off.
July 23, 2020 – Rumors start flying that Cara Delevingne, 28, is now dating model Kaia Gerber, 19. Personally I do not like the Cara Delevingne/Kaia Gerber age difference at all! It may surprise you to learn that Gossip Cop says this rumor is false.
August 13, 2020 – You know what Cara loves doing? Getting really ill-advised matching tattoos with women! To celebrate her birthday, she and Kaia got “solemates” tattooed on their feet so they can hold toes and it’s uncomfortable for me. Vogue calls it a “modern iteration of the friendship bracelet.”
The New York Yankees high-five each other after winning 6-3 against the Philadelphia Phillies on August 3, 2020 (Sarah Stier/Getty)
For the first time in four years, a season of Major League Baseball has passed without a single homophobic slur being uttered on the field.
The 2020 season ended on Sunday after coronavirus shortened it to 60 games, and all players managed to make it through without any recorded, on-field anti-gay controversies.
However, although it ended on a high note, the season wasn’t totally devoid of anti-gay sentiment.
Unfortunately the Cincinnati Reds’ game against the Kansas City Royals was marred by Fox Sports announcer Thom Brennaman using a homophobic slur live on air while he thought his mic was turned off.
Viewers were horrified to hear the veteran commentator referring to Kansas City as “one of the fag capitals of the world”. His on-air plea for forgiveness fell short of the mark as he broke off midway to comment on the baseball game in front of him.
Brennaman later issued a second apology, claiming he was unaware of the history of “hate and prejudice” the slur is rooted in, but Fox moved to suspend him after 30 years of commentating.
Sadly it was far from the first time the word was heard on the pitch.
The long history of homophobia in Major League Baseball is often blamed for the fact that only two players have ever come out as LGBT+, with no current players identifying as queer.
According to Ginny Searle of Baseball Prospectus, anti-gay slurs are “something of an annual occurrence” in Major League Baseball.
She told NPR’s Leila Fadel that although many teams engage in LGBT+ campaigns like Pride nights, in reality they don’t go far enough.
“I don’t know that you would qualify them as substantial enough to be a complete affirmation of the LGBT+ community,” she said.
“[It doesn’t] give certainties that on every instance – not just the broadcast booth, in the stands, the locker rooms, everywhere – the LGBT+ community is respected and not simply allowed, but welcomed as a substantial part of the community.”
But for Sean Doolittle, a Washington Nationals player and long LGBT+ ally, there is hope. He told Outsports that the fierce reactions to Brennaman’s slur indicated a fundamental shift in attitudes.
“My experience as a player, I really think is changing,” he said. “The outrage response is evidence it is changing.”
He recalled an incident at a game last year when a fan repeatedly called him a “fag” as he was warming up in the bullpen. The homophobe was immediately confronted by Dolittle’s teammates, who called security and had him ejected from the stadium.
“They knew, even as far as a fan heckling, there is no room for that in our game at the ballpark,” Doolittle said. “I thought that was awesome.”
Previously on Legends of Tomorrow, a bunch of villains from throughout history were released from hell and the Legends had to travel through space and time to kill these Encores with hell weapons, they learned their buddy Charlie was actually Clotho the fate and she got tricked by her sisters to rejoin their ranks and they rewrote the fate of the world, but the Legends rebelled from their TV universe, much to Charlie’s dismay.
As she heads back to her sisters, Charlie is realizing that the Legends have started the rumblings of a rebellion, and she is so stressed about it.
Her desperate little, “Even I like the blue mush!” was so cute.
She tries to play it cool when she gets to the Temple of the Loom and sits next to her fellow fates in the throne room, where they will start seeing their people’s requests, trying to pretend like everything is fine.
Meanwhile, the Legends, fresh out of their TV boxes, are trying to find the Loom. And also thus begins a series of hilarious moments where Zari 2 and Original Zari joke about their continued mutual existence, like how Zari 2 thinks Original Zari’s voice is weird.
They run into Gary and Mona, who tell them that if the Waverider is anywhere, it’s likely at the Forbidden Dump, where all the fun things go to die.
So while Ava leads half the team there, Sara and Constatine go to the Hall of Fates. They use Sara’s blindness to their advantage and Sara easily takes down some guards, and they lead the rest of the team in to find the Loom.
Good ol’ Sara “roll with the punches” Lance.
In the throne room, one worshipper asks for more blue mush, and Lachesis grants it nobly. The next asks for her favorite TV shows to come back from hiatus, which is a mood, and when Charlie says the actors needed a break, she asks if they were tired from the crossover. Which is already hilarious, since often CW actors do indeed need a hiatus from the crossover, but just to add a little extra Legends jab at it, Atropos asks with disdain in her voice, “What is a crossover?”
When Lachesis realizes what Clotho did, she is furious, but Clotho tries to defend her old crew. She points to how they were cleaning up the Encore mess and it wasn’t even their fault, and Lachesis (whose fault it actually was) gaslights Charlie into thinking the Encores were HER fault, because Clotho broke the Loom in the first place, creating chaos and therefore creating villains. Lachesis asks her sister what she thinks the people would prefer, more choices, or everlasting peace. Charlie looks out over these helpless mortals, thinks of all the friends she’s lost or almost lost, thinks of all the pain and suffering she thinks she caused, and sits down, giving in. She says they would want peace.
You can’t be so afraid of pain that you keep yourself from feeling anything at all, bb.
Sara, Astra and Constantine continue their quest for the Loom, and once they find it, they set out to destroy it. Astra doesn’t think she has enough power to do it, but Constantine knows she has her mother’s magic blood in her and encourages her to channel it.
At the Dump, Ava, Zari, Nate and Mick all find the Waverider, so Mick heads off to find Lita before they go. They realize Gideon is broken, and that they need a superconductor to get the ship back up and running again, so Zari uses Steely Nate so Ava can get them off the ground.
When Zari 2 and Behrad go undercover in the throne room, they realize they only see two of the Fates…but that’s because Atropos found Sara first.
“Ava? Is that you? Save that for tonight, babe.”
Atropos is amused that Sara “bears the scars” of their last encounter, but Sara says her scars make her stronger before using her new Fate-given powers to defeat her at her own game.
Astra starts to realize that she replaced some of her memories with Lachesis, causing her powers to falter, but as Atropos is telling Sara that these powers come from her, Sara insists that her real power comes from her team. To prove her point, the Team Totem swoops in and blasts Atropos away from Sara. Sara realizes that if she has some Fate power in her, she can use it to her advantage, and snipps Atropos’ thread. Defeated at her own game.
The Legends all rush back to the Waverider and quickly jump out of that time period to avoid Lachesis’s wrath, and when they land, they’re still in the Forbidden Dump. But suddenly, Sara can see. They realize her powers must have been linked to Atropos and with her gone, she’s back to our regular old Paragon assassin. And it feels appropriate that the first thing she sees is trash.
But the second thing she sees is her beautiful girlfriend, and she’s thrilled about it.
I’d miss that face, too.
When they head outside to see when they are and what has changed, they learn that they’re only a few months into the future. Things seem normal at first glance, until they realize that everyone is relying on their smartwatches to make every decision for them. And instead of Siri or a Google Assistant, they’re asking Fate. The Legends see the billboards all around them and know that Lachesis might not have the loom, but she’s still controlling everyone’s fate.
The Legends head to where the temple used to be but now it’s a history museum documenting the atrocities of free will to help scare people into trusting the Fate technology. The Legends head into the Hall of Bad Ideas, which features arguably great ideas like glitter and spring shoes, along with unequivocally bad ideas like the Shake Weight and The Thong Song. Ava goes over to this Sisqo exhibit and is reading the lyrics aloud, confused as to how this was such a smash hit in the early aughts, to which I have no good answer for her. The song slaps but the lyrics to leave something to be desired.
Nate really wants to play the song but Sara stops her and leads her team to the Hall of Villains. The Encores they’ve spent the season fighting (plus more of history’s big bads) are all displayed and ranked here, including the lovely Marie Antoinette.
Behrad and Original Zari are still trying to fix the Waverider, and I’m just so glad we got a little more time with our flannel-clad tech genius.
Who will take up the plaid representation when she’s gone?
But something isn’t quite right, because Behrad has a flash of a memory of dying in her timeline.
As the team goes through the Hall of Villains, they realize that they’re cataloged here too, labeled Godkillers. I feel like we’re tiptoeing on infringing the Worldkillers here, but Lachesis wouldn’t care too much about that now would she. Also, Ava is a little hurt that they’re only number two on the list.
If you’re gonna be the worst, you might as well be the best at it.
They go to see who the #1 worst villain in history is, and are surprised to find Charlie there, trapped only by the will of her Fatewatch who tells her to stay. She’s so scared that they’re there, so scared she’ll hurt someone again. So they feel they have no choice but to knock her out and take her back to the ship.
“I had the strangest dream…and you were there, and you.”
Charlie is nearly frantic because she’s not where the Fatewatch told her she should be. She tells her captains that she regrets being the Loom Breaker, Creator of Chaos. It’s so sad and scary to see wild and free Charlie having been scared and manipulated to the point of being this scared and obedient Clotho. Sara and Ava blame themselves, for leaving Charlie behind and letting Lachesis get into her head.
Even the best captains make mistakes sometimes.
Charlie insists that Lachesis only did what was best for her, because they’re family, but Sara says that THEY’RE her family, not Lachesis. That overpowering and controlling someone isn’t loving them. That deciding what’s best for you instead of helping you decide for yourself isn’t taking care of them.
And Astra is learning the same lesson at the same time. All these years she thought Lachesis was loving her, raising her, but she was really training her, making her forget her own mother. But that’s not reality, and it’s not what Astra wants.
The Legends get together to try to sell Charlie on the concept of free will, but everything they offer her she has an answer for. The Beatles were great, sure, but they also inspired Charles Manson. Mona tries to use Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again (a nice little nod to Original Zari’s loop episode), but Charlie reminds them that Napoleon once almost killed them because of Abba. Ava and Sara try a different route, and try to point out that their entire relationship wouldn’t exist without chaos.
“I mean look at us! We’re disaster queers! Even if our paths had crossed we wouldn’t have ended up together without the gentle nudging of these other fools!”
Random twists of fate brought them together, an assassin and a clone, a vigilante time traveler and the lead of the agency built to thwart them. Sure there have been mistakes along the way, but sometimes mistakes just help guide us toward our destiny. But Charlie remains unconvinced.
“Love is a lie.”
After giving up trying to sell free will to Charlie, the Zaris work together to try to find the Loom of Fate that surely must still exist if all these people are zombies, all while Behrad tries to hide the fact that a bullet wound is slowly forming in his chest. With Original Zari’s guidance, Zari 2 finds the source of the Fatewatch, but it’s not the Loom at all. They really did destroy that. Instead, the people are being controlled by Lachesis and Gideon.
Figuring out what to take on a safari is flat out intimidating! There are undoubtedly more “rules” for what to wear on safari than almost any other trip I’ve taken. Going on an East African safari has been a dream for years. I wanted to follow every suggestion out there that would lead me to see the most animals possible. But let’s face it, I also wanted to feel good about what I was wearing since these are photos I’ll treasure for a lifetime.
From the Maasai Mara in Kenya, Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania and hundreds of bumpy dusty roads in between. I needed things to be practical, comfortable and stylish in that order. This safari packing guide includes the main things you’ll need. I’m going to assume you already know things like a toothbrush need to be packed.
Where and when are you going
Africa is a continent ya’ll and a big one at that. When you’re packing you’ve got to look at the weather in the place you’ll actually be going. Sounds simple but the often overlooked idea that, yes, it gets cold in Africa can sneak up on you. Game drives consistently start as the sun creeps above the horizon, meaning you’ll be eating breakfast in the cool brisk morning air.
Keep in mind there are pros and cons to all off-season travel.
Best Time To Visit: Mid August – late October to see the Great Migration of wildebeest in the Masai Mara. Kenya is close to the equator, therefore, it does not experience a real summer or winter.
Dry Season: June to October temperatures 75-50°F
Wet Season: March to May temperatures 83-60°F
Best Time To Visit: Since you’ll likely be there for the incredible gorilla trekking, visiting during the dry season is pivotal. The temperature in this tropical climate remains virtually the same 81-60°F year-round.
Dry Season: June-August and December-January
Wet Season: March-May and September- November
Best Time To Visit: October to January are ideal times for the chimpanzee tracking. The temperatures stay in the 70-50°F year-round.
Best Time To Visit: May to September, there is a long dry season here and the animals tend to stay close to larger watering holes.
Summer: October- April temperatures ranging from 45-77°F
Winter: May-September 60-84°F
Best Time To Visit: June-October, although the most popular “northern circuit” is spectacular year-round. Wildebeest calves are however born in January.
Dry Season: June-October temperatures 65-86°F
Wet Season: November-May temperatures 73-85°F
What type of African safari vacation are you taking
Just as diverse as the destination you’ll take them in safari vacations come in all shapes and sizes. If you are looking for full luxury, budget, family-friendly, private or group there’s a safari that is right for you.
The accommodations will vary based on price point. Typically there are two main sleeping options the tent camps which are, as you’d expect canvas tents. The other being safari lodges, typically more of resort vibe. Here is an example of each that we stayed in during our 13 Day East African Safari with Contiki.
One of the key differences to look at when it comes to packing is with the luggage allowance. With a luxury safari, you are likely to be taking small bush planes from one destination to the next, the strict weight allowances on these flights are usually non-negotiable.
On a group safari, there is obviously a limited about of space in the back of the jeep. For our trip, we were limited to 33 pounds of the total weight in a soft-sided bag.
If a walking safari or trekking is on your itinerary. You will have to take greater consideration with footwear, including hiking boot.
When and where we Traveled
Our trip was a total of 29 days. We spent 13 of those as part of the Contiki East African Safari through Kenya and Tanzania. Check out our review of the trip here! Followed by a week-long private safari with family and friends and lastly a week at the beach in Zanzibar.
Our trip started mid-July and ended in Mid August
The 33lb weight requirement seems to be the standard. This is the weight for everything, carry on included. It is important to have something that is soft-sided aka squishable as well as durable. These bags will be loaded and unloaded from your safari jeep multiple times almost always in dirty or dusty places. Leave the full size hard-sided checked bag at home, it’s more hassle than it is worth.
Meg bought the REI Ruckpack 65 Travel Pack right before we left. She’s about 5’3” so finding a full size pack that fits her well took some time and persistence. The REI pack is built specifically for women (or people) with shorter torsos.
It is a two-part pack system that includes a day pack big enough for her laptop and essential. Overall She was really happy with the performance and comfort of the new backpack and i think it will be joining us on my more trips.
I carried my go to Tortuga Pack. This bag has been by my side for nearly two years now and I’m consistently impressed with its versatility. If I’m being honest I was looking for reasons to upgrade my pack for the trip. Mostly for aesthetic reasons but couldn’t bring myself to spend the money with the Tortuga Pack does the job for nearly every situation. I did find a similar bag at a significantly lower price point here.
I love the interior pockets for keeping my clothes separate and the thick padded back sleeve to protect my laptop.
If you don’t love backpacks bringing a duffle if perfectly doable for this style trip. One of the guys I traveled with did all 13 days in a simple Hershel duffle. While it was a bit small for me it was a great way for him to only bring the essentials.
Worth noting when buying bags specifically from travel- bright colors are always easier to locate. Whether you’re looking in the offloaded safari luggage pile or the airport baggage carousel, black bags are hardest to locate.
Meg carried the daypack portion of her REI bag. She lover every part of having it. It was the perfect size to fit what she needed but small enough to keep her from overpacking.
Since most of your day is spent in the car you have a couple daypack option in my opinion.
The safari outfit stylish or simple practicality. My all-time favorite daypacks are these two from Herschel Supply Co and Jansport . They hold up great with heavy use and when they’re filthy just toss them in the washer.
Honestly, on most days the only thing our daypacks needed to carry was camera gear and bug spray.
Contiki had sent the whole group a simple canvas backpack like this one and many members of the trip were super happy with how convenient it was.
Camera Bags for safari
I carried the Manfrotto Medium Camera bag for this trip. It fit two SLR bodies, three lenses and various small accessories in the side pockets. The top was big enough for me to bring an extra battery pack, hat, and any snacks I felt necessary aka Haribo gummy bears and Stoney Tangawizi, the incredible local ginger beer.
For the safari, I found having a camera bag to be more important than on a lot of other trips for two main reasons. First, the amount of dust and dirt. Having a clean place to store my camera was so important. Second, the roads are bumpy and our bags bounded right along with us, the padding in the bag was used hard. Lastly, having a waterproof bag will eliminate any stress if a storm rolls in.
First and foremost you do not have to rush out and buy an entire wardrobe based on various shades of khaki. Earth tones are recommended but not required at any point on my 3-week safari. Our Kenyan guide often sported a red t-shirt and many other drivers were dressed in the traditionally bright Masai clothing. **read about our visit to the Masai Village**
Laundry was an offered service at every place we stayed. So no matter if your trip is 4 or 14 days your packing list will look similar.
Planning to bring items that are easily layered is important because the weather changes drastically throughout the day. Being able to add or subtract on the fly is crucial.
The most important fact when it comes to color is the tsetse fly is attracted to blue and black. You will even see what looks like a small blue and black flags hung in some bushes, it turns out they are tsetse fly traps. The flies can bite through your clothing and are linked to sleeping sickness.
Five or six t-shirts, in my opinion, is the right number. After hours of a game drive, you are covered in a pretty decent level of dirt so rewarding might not always be an option. We both went with simple cotton t-shirts. No fancy fabrics, just things already found in our closets
I did pick up a Columbia Sportswear Shirt that felt like peak safari shirt. It has a bunch of pockets, SPF built in and was ideal for tossing on in the early mornings. The sleeves are designed to roll up but I usually just tossed in on over a tee and took it off when I got warm. The one thing I really appreciated about this shirt over the other long sleeve tee tucked in my bag was how easily the dirt brushed off.
A hooded sweatshirt for the early mornings was nice. There were a few mornings that seemed extra cold plus when the top opens up having a hood to block the wind is nice. I’m sort of obsessed with this colorblock one Meg pickup for my birthday.
Pack a rain jacket! Who knows if you’ll use it but if you need it there is really no substitute. Meg and I each have this one from North Face. It takes up almost zero space and has saved us on a bunch of different occasions.
A last-minute decision had me headed to REI the night before the trip to get some safari pants. I flipped back and forth between wanting to wear stuff I already had and wanting something specific for this trip. I ultimately decided to pick up some pants because I was worried if I wore jeans the midday temperatures would have me uncomfortably hot. I tried on a whole bunch of pants and ended up with the Prana Essex Pants. They ended up being PERFECT! The dust and dirt brushed right off them plus they were warm enough for the morning and light enough for the middle of the day heat. They also don’t wrinkle, no matter how twisted in a ball I packed them they came out of the bad ready to wear. I did size up a bit to give them a slightly more androgynous vibe that I prefer with my clothing.
The two pairs of jeans I pack could have easily been left behind. They’re hot and frankly not that comfortable for long hours sitting in the car.
I’ll list some of the other pants I tried on and like here. The Prana pants were the winners based more on fit than anything else.
We also both took some Adidas sweat pants and leggings for hanging around the camps in the evening. There was no need to get dressed up for dinners at any of the places we stayed in. So most nights we tossed on something cozy.
Meg prefers dresses over pants in all situations. She knew that short dresses would be tough with getting in and out of the jeep a bunch of times every day. So she opted for longer earth-toned dresses and jumpsuits. All of her outfits we one piece so in the morning she didn’t have a ton of options to choose from.
She had lavender and a yellow jumpsuit that were PERFECT! As well as rust and an olive dress that buttoned up. With the dresses, she put a t-shirt under them so they remained more modest.
Go big or go home! Seriously, if you want that big safari hat of your dreams go for it. You’ll see plenty of other people wearing them and they make for great photo props. Pro tip: make sure it had a drawstring to keep it from blowing off when the jeep is in motion.
A regular baseball cap works just as well. Really its whatever keeps the sun off your face and covers off the crazy wind blow hair look. I took a simple this simple khaki Adidas Strapback Cap.
Shoes for Safari
Shoe selection is WAY more important if you are doing a walking safari or a gorilla trek. Both of those experiences require much more specific footwear. Since I haven’t had that experience I linked to a great packing guide specifically for a gorilla trek.
We were in our safari vehicle most of the time so the shoes for our safari were way less specific. For your primary footwear having something that is comfortable, easy to wear when climbing in and out of the car and easily cleaned is important. You will also find yourself taking your shoes on and off a bunch of times. Reason for that, climbing up on the jeep seats to take pictures. They let us climb all over the car but asked that our shoes were off to do so. Super reasonable in my opinion.
I love the look of these canvas boots plus they are all day comfortable. If you decide to go with boots for any reason definitely check these out. I wore them on our trip to Peru and got tons of compliments on the look plus the performance was awesome.
Every big trip I seem to obsess over one item I “have to have” and then make Meg buy it too. For this trip it was the slides. I wasn’t sure about the shower situation (they were remarkably clean) and to wear around camp. Meg and I both wore them a bunch to dinner, the pool and even a few times on long car rides. They’re easy, comfortable and versatile.
Best Camera for Safari
This list could be an entire blog post in itself. If you are a professional photographer you probably already know what you need. So for the rest of us, here are a few guidelines I felt were helpful when making sure you have the right camera for safari.
Yes, you can take photos on your phone. Yes, the animals will walk close enough on occasion to get some good ones on your phone. However, there are a ton of situations that you’ll wish your camera had a bit more zoom.
Meg traveled with a Sony A7iii with a 28-70mm kit lens. This is a powerhouse of a camera and it is amazing what we do as travel bloggers. Its mirrorless shoots incredibly high-quality video and is overall our go-to camera. That being said we both wish we would have bought or borrowed a more powerful lens.
I traveled with our Nikon D3400, the first DSLR camera we ever bought. Until we bought the Sony this the camera we used for everything. I think its the perfect beginner DSLR Unfortunately when we were shooting these awesome shots in Oxnard, California we smashed our trusty 18-55mm lens. So for this trip, we packed a 35mm f/1.8 prime lens that I am hooked on. It was amazing for all the shots in markets and around the camps. The other lens I took was a 70-300 f/4 that I kept on the camera a majority of the time.
You the DSLR is not the right fit for you there are some great point and shoot cameras like the Canon Powershot G9 that will be much better than your phone.
Some additional accessories for the camera
Memory Cards: You’re going to go through way more than you think because you’ll be shooting in bursts as the animals are near you.
Extra Battery Sony and Nikon : We did stay at one camp that did not have outlets in the tents. So for that day having the extra battery was crucial.
Hard Drive: Having a way to back up your photos is important. It doesn’t matter if you’re traveling for work like us or on a vacation. Most new cameras now have wifi so you can send the photos directly to your phone. This one from LaCie is specifically designed for travel.
Tripod: It’s great to have a tripod if you’re shooting anything like a sunset that requires a longer exposure. It’s also the ideal way to get photos with your travel companions. Asking some to take a picture is fine but be prepared to see heads or feet cut off. If you want particular shots its best to set them up for yourself. Important to note, when walking away from your camera be sure to keep an eye on your surroundings.
Miscellaneous Safari Gear
Power Strip: Tons of places only have one outlet, this way you don’t have to set an alarm to
switch devices. This was our first trip with one and we’ll never travel without one again.
Binoculars: Yes you’ll want them, no they don’t have to be crazy expensive ones.
Books: Download books, music or games to your phone. There are a ton of long car rides involved in a bunch of safaris. When you’re going from one park to the next you’ll just be hanging out. No matter how much you love your travel companions a little something to entertain yourself will be nice. Plus, most of the accommodations only have wifi in the dining area. So a book is nice for that downtime as well.
Bug Spray: Get one with a high percentage of deet. The wipes are a good option so you’re not getting in the mouth and eyes of everyone in the car with you when you reapply.
Chapstick: My lips were dry to the point they were painful most of the trip. I absolutely swear by this Aquafina lip balm.
Eyedrops: The dust does not mix well with your eyes. I tried to wear contacts one day but they felt terrible. Even while wearing glasses I found myself using the drops each day.