Tag: Kisses

Boobs On Your Tube: Vintage Lesbian Poems to Match Vintage Lesbian Kisses on “Dickinson”

Boobs On Your Tube: Vintage Lesbian Poems to Match Vintage

Last Friday of January, we made it and welcome to Boobs on Your Tube!! We’re only two weeks in, but Batwoman is just getting better and better and damn Nic is falling deeper and deeper in love! Is it just Kayla, but are there more murders on Riverdale than usual? The Jules Euphoria special was co-written by Hunter Schafer and Drew dealt with the uncomfortability of really seeing yourself on screen. She also watched RuPaul’s Drag Race and ranked all the queens by Happiest Season characters, just for a little treat.

Over in movies, Natalie’s revisit of Pariah is breathtaking and absolutely worth your time to read this week. Drew revamped our iconic 200 best lesbian, bisexual, and queer movies of all time list to bring in last year’s greatest hits and overall make it less cis, less white, less US/Eurocentric and just.. of a higher quality. It’s amazing and you should revisit. ALSO DREW IS TAKING ON SUNDANCE THIS YEAR!!! And we’re so proud! You can read her first review, of “4 Feet High” (which she described as a monumental work of queer disabled media!!) right now!

Notes from the TV Team:

+ Last week, 9-1-1 returned and combined Ryan Murphy’s usual theatrics, tempered by the realities of life in pandemic for frontline workers. Our favorite firefighter/paramedic, Hen, was there, saving lives but I couldn’t help but wonder: had I just imagined that “Hen goes to medical school” storyline or wasn’t she supposed to be adopting a baby? Well, wonder no more because this week, we got an abbreviated glimpse into Hen’s home life: she’s just starting her med school classes online and she’s got a new adorable toddler to wish her luck on her first day! Awww, Doctor Mama Hen! — Natalie

All American 302: “How To Survive In South Central”

Written by Natalie

Patience and Coop talk to Layla about the music business.

Remember back when we met Coop? Only her friendship with Spencer kept the threats from bullies and gangsters at bay…and now, two years later, she’s walking into her senior year at South Crenshaw with unrivaled swag. Still, though, the threat still lingers with Tyrone’s sister hanging around and Coop beelines to see Preach to find out what Mo’s really up to. Preach has no idea — he thought Coop and Mrs. Baker were behind his release — but pledges that he’ll find out and handle the situation.

The next day at school, Coop slides next to Patience and wants to open up her first check as a professional musician together. Patience records the event for prosperity but Coop is shocked to discover that the check is a few zeroes short of what she expected. She leaves to confront Layla in Beverly Hills but she assures her that nothing’s amiss; in fact, after all the expenses of Coop’s tour, Layla lost money on the deal. Coop’s skeptical — maybe scamming artists is the family business — and invites Layla to find out what her father did to Patience.

Confused, Layla confronts Patience for answers but she’s reluctant to give them since she signed a non-disclosure agreement. Layla insists — after all, they’re friends outside the business — and Patience finally relents. She urges Layla to take a listen to the latest song from JP’s new singer, Lil’ Jewel. Sure enough, when Layla and Spencer gives the song a listen, she recognizes it as a song that Patience probably wrote. Suddenly, everything clicks for Layla: why Patience left the tour early and why Coop thinks she’s stealing from her.

Armed with some advice from Spencer, Layla approaches Coop and Patience directly. She sets Coop straight about the realities of the music business, namely that if she wants to play bigger venues (and make more money), she needs to put out an album. Layla tells Coop that she doesn’t appreciate being accused of stealing and if there’s no trust in their relationship, Coop is free to leave. Then Layla turns to Patience, apologizes for what her father did and invites Patience to join her label. Just as Spencer predicted, Coop respects Layla for being so direct: “there’s the badass bitch I signed with!”

Coops spots Preach and asks what he learned about Mo. Preach believes Mo’s schtick about making amends for her brother’s transgressions and urges Coop to leave the situation alone. After two seasons of seeing Coop at work, I’m willing to be leaving things alone definitely won’t be happening.

S.W.A.T. 408: “Crusade”

Written by Natalie

Erika, Tan and Chris joke between missions on "S.W.A.T."

Back at the start of the season, S.W.A.T.‘s executive producer, Aaron Rahsaan, promised that the show’s resident bisexual badass, Chris Alonso, would experience “an emotional kind of whirlwind that’s going to test her in a way that she hasn’t been tested before.” Through seven episodes, it seemed like the Tactical Leadership Institute — the competition that drove a wedge between Chris and her teammates — was the “whirlwind” and, frankly, I was underwhelmed. But this week the whirlwind actually came…and suddenly, the suggestion that Chris would be tested like she hasn’t been before felt like a profound understatement.

After securing a murder suspect who led them on a lengthy pursuit, Hondo suggests the team ends the day with a cold beer. Chris demurs; she and Erika are still moving into their new apartment and she wants to get unpacked before their housewarming party. But before anyone can unpack or have that beer, the team (AKA 20 Squad) rushes to another shooting. They arrive just in time to pull a store owner from a burning building.

The next day, the team discovers that both shootings are connected to a string of attacks against minority owned businesses. Commander Hicks suspects the suspects are tied to a white supremacist group that the FBI’s been tracking, a theory Hondo and Tan confirm when they interview the suspect. Once another white supremacist shows up with the same iron cross tattoo — his attempted mass shooting thwarted by an ex-cop — the team traces the tatto back to its artist and head out to apprehend him.

Because Deacon had a family obligation, Chris’ new roommate, Erika, joins 20 squad for the day. She endears herself to the team easily: taking a friendly ribbing from Street and Tan and impressing Hondo by taking down the suspect. Erika discovers a secret door in the tattoo parlor leading to the white supremacists’ church. Chris suggests getting a geofence warrant to track the phones of white supremacists who “worship” there on Sundays (this, coincidentally, is the same method being used to track down the Capitol insurrectionists).

The warrant turns up the identities of two additional members of the white supremacist group. The team’s able to capture the first, just before he starts shooting a Jewish community center, but the second is determine to go down fighting. Chris and Erika hear movement upstairs and make their way towards the suspect. Suddenly, shooting starts…the roommates duck behind a wall for cover and Chris alerts the team that the suspect is shooting down from the attic. The boys join the firefight and Tan gets hit. Hondo and Street lay down suppressive fire — which ultimately kills the suspect — so that Chris and Erika can get Tan to safety.

When the roommates get Tan outside, Chris checks his wound and the bullet just grazed him. Suddenly, Erika gets woozy and realizes that she’s been hit too. She barely gets the words out before she collapses in Chris’ arms. Chris tries to save her but, ultimately, Hondo has to pull her away. Erika Rogers, one of two female members of SWAT, one of the few black members of SWAT and Chris’ friend and roommate, dies from her gunshot wound.

Legacies 302: “Goodbyes Sure Do Suck”

Written by Valerie Anne

hope from legacies looking up at the supernova

“When will my storyline return from the war?”

The first two seasons of Legacies were fantastic and magical and gay and it was about three strong young women and their super squad but now…I know it’s only two episodes in but all of the women have been sidelined for the men (boys?) and even Hope, the most badass of them all – like, literally of everyone ever, as the only tribrid in history – is only defined by her relationship to a (boring) man. Also, we had to put Raf in a prison world to save his life because of some of the tomfoolery of the Necromancer. And while I’m glad that there’s one less point on Hope’s love polygon, I wish it was Landon that got sent away instead. I liked Raf. And while it was a beautiful sendoff to that sweet boy, I missed the Monster of the Week aspect we usually get. I will say, however, I am HERE for Alyssa trying to rule as queen of the underworld. Long may she reign. ALSO, next week is the musical episode, which promises to be a hilarious parody of one (if not both) of Legacies’ parent shows and should prove to be a great time.

Dickinson 2-6: “Split the Lark”

Written by Valerie Anne

emily and sue kiss on dickinson

‘Cause no one ever tells you when you’re young
Love’s not like the books, the films, or the songs
We’ve been livin’ in a lie for far too long
And we’re tired of pretending
There’s no such thing as a Hollywood ending

This week on Dickinson, Emily and her family made their way to the opera to see the international singing sensation Adeleide May. Emily is still infatuated by Sam Bowles, the man who is making her dreams come true, but he seems a little standoffish. Sue calls Emily a sensitive artist and insists Sam let her sit in his VIP box with him, and frankly doesn’t take no for an answer. Once alone, Emily continues to be effusive toward her editor but he comes clean that the reason he’s holding her at arm’s length is because the letter she wrote to his wife was a bit unhinged and read a lot like a confession of love. Emily is confused; the only people she’s ever shared her poetry with are Sue and the late Ben Newton, and they got her so well that she never considered someone could so misunderstand her intentions. Sam understands where Emily is coming from, how she got up in the romance of the poetry and the publishing, but reminds her that everything she’s feeling is coming from her own self, not anywhere else. Throughout the opera, Emily can’t help but be riveted by Adelaide and instinctively stealing glances at Sue across the theatre. So entranced is she that eventually Emily imagines Sue singing one of Emily’s poems, Split the Lark. It’s beautiful and stunning and moving and I would listen to Ella Hunt sing all day every day.

Since Sam excused himself early, when the opera is over, Emily steals his backstage pass and sneaks off to meet Adelaide. At first the soprano thinks Emily is the wardrobe girl and complains about her fans and not having energy for them; “They love me so much it’s like they want to kill me.” But Emily is so overwhelmed by her own emotions she still can’t see how they affect others, and ends up spewing them all over Adelaide. Adelaide decides to be real with Emily, telling her about how it’s all an act and she doesn’t even feel the things she’s singing anymore. Adelaide takes Emily by the hand and leads her to the stage. Emily thinks she wants to be famous, wants to be seen, but Adelaide doesn’t think that’s really what she wants. She asks her to look closer at that desire, which prompts Emily to hallucinate Sue again. To ask herself what the true, deeper meaning is behind this yearning for fame, where this misplaced crush on Sam truly comes from. Imagined Sue says Emily craves meaning, beauty… and love.

And so Emily imagines kissing Sue, dressed to the nines and center stage in an empty opera house. When she snaps back to reality it seems she is already beginning to see anonymity in a new light, as the usher tells her he’ll report her if she doesn’t leave the theatre and she smiles and says he doesn’t even know who she is.

It’s Sunlight Kitchens and Sweaty Kisses on “Station 19”

It's Sunlight Kitchens and Sweaty Kisses on "Station 19"

Happy Friday! Welcome back to Boobs on Your Tube! The days are shorter and the nights are colder, but at least Heather is here to tell you Derry Girls on Great British Bake Off is the only good thing to happen in 2020. Sally did some investigative reporting you won’t want to miss, may humbly we present: 10 Times Things Went Well But Also Very Badly For Lesbians on Rooftops. Riese would like to know which Happiest Season character are you? Over in our lost movie reviews, Kayla noted the plain facts that sex is weird, and she loved that Cheryl Dunye’s Mommy Is Coming leans right into it without pretending to have the answers. We got some pretty massive The L Word: Generation Q casting news this week — Rosie O’Donnell has been cast as a human rights attorney named “Carrie” and we are 97% sure that’s Tina fiancée. What’s that you say?? Rosie vs. Bette is a Top Off the entire TV Team cannot wait to see.

Drew curated our next End of Year Pop Culture List: The Best Lesbian, Bisexual, and Queer Movies of 2020 and then our entire team came together to create our magnum opus Disney Characters, Ranked by Bisexuality.

A collage from the Bisexual Disney Characters list: Moana, Megara, Tramp, and Mulan.

“Name a more bisexual activity than cutting off your own hair with a sword.” — Heather Hogan

Ahem, Today marks the premiere date of Netflix’s The Prom and we have all your needs covered! Valerie gave Carmen and Drew a promposal to join her in a review of the film, Netflix’s The Prom Review: Broadway’s Favorite Teen Lesbians Warmed Our Unruly Hearts and Drew tapped deep into her film nerdery to chronicle the complete history of queer women in movie musicals from Calamity Jane to The Prom, just in time to honor our cute teen lesbians’ debut on the silver screen.

Notes from the TV Team: 

+  Heather is furiously watching and catching up Star Trek, and she’ll have some thoughts for you next week! Set your excitement to warp speed! (Get it?)  — Carmen

+ Natalie did a little deep dive over on TVLine and came up with this little tidbit.  — Carmen

+ Me again! This is the last thing! There was a lot of news yesterday from Disney+ and their upcoming 2021/2022 projects, but none excited me more than a Ms. Marvel television series!! I would like my teen Muslim superhero and I would like her right now!  — Carmen

+ On All Rise, we got a glimpse of the personal and professional life of Judge Benner this week. On the professional front, she forced Judge Carmichael to recuse herself from a case because of the potential appearance of impropriety. Needless to say, Carmichael is not thrilled; she criticizes Benner for not being more gentle with the defendant. Meanwhile, on the personal front, Benner is enjoy life as a singleton: she’s a hot prospect on the dating apps. It feels like the show is laying the groundwork for Benner to have a bigger role on the show once Carmichael takes her maternity leave so…fingers crossed. — Natalie

S.W.A.T. 403: “The Black Hand Man”

Written by Natalie

Chris trains for the Master Gunner competition with Erika, the only other female member of SWAT.

In almost every reality competition show on TV, there’s always one contestant who comes in the competition proclaiming, “I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to win.” This week, on S.W.A.T., Chris Alonso was that contestant.

Looking to boost her standing for the Tactical Leadership Institute (TLI) , Chris opts to participate in the Master Gunner competition. She’s intently focused on the competition…so much so that she practices assembling her weapon blindfolded. Even after she achieves a personal best, Chris wants to keep going — hoping to shave an additional 0.3 seconds off her time — because she knows the Master Gunner competition will be close. Erika relents and promises to time Chris once more but warns, once she wins, they’re going to have a beer and a long talk about her work/life balance.

In front of her teammates, Chris plays it cool. Hondo reminds them that no one from the team has won the competition in eight years and he’s expecting them to represent. Street offers to show Chris a trick that could shave 0.3 seconds off her time but she declines his help. She lies and tells Street that training hasn’t been going well and that she’s not going to lose sleep over the competition anymore. It’s a bit of misdirection that Chris hopes will get Street to ease up on his training.

The Master Gunner competition is a two part trial — the assembling of an assault rifle followed by a challenging shoot course — and Chris sails through it. Deacon lets it slip that she’s leading the pack thus far and her near perfect run will be tough for anyone to beat. But, of course because the “I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to win” contestant rarely actually wins, Chris loses the Master Gunner competition to Street by a measly 0.18 seconds. She applauds her teammate’s success but when she’s alone with Erika, it’s clear how much the loss stings.

“When I first met Street, he was the guy with the crazy mom who then got kicked out of SWAT and barely made it back. And now, he’s got it all figured out,” Chris laments. “[It] feels like we swapped places somehow and he left me behind.”

While Erika can’t resolve Chris’ issues with Street, she does make one great recommendation: the lone two female members of SWAT should be roommates.

Station 19 404: “Don’t Look Back in Anger”

Written by Carmen

A Station 19 still where Maya and Carina laugh together as Maya pulls Carina by the waist into their sunlit bathroom.

So Carina moved into Maya’s apartment a few weeks ago, but she has really moved in now — and with her pasta and cheese hanging everywhere, Andy correctly surmises that its a bit like living inside one of my favorite restaurants in college, Buca di Beppo. Y’all — there’s a lot of cheese, and it is everywhere.

Later at work, Maya confesses to Andy that she’s a little terrified of living with Carina. It’s not Carina, she’s great. It’s that sharing her space is bringing back up and re-triggering lots of memories of the emotional abuse of growing up with her father. You see, her brother — he just buried his head in the sand like their mother, but Maya? Maya became a carbon copy of him, just to avoid his rage. She goes on to tell a story about a friend taking one of her father’s soda cans during an 8th grade sleepover and it’s harrowing. Of course, now Maya is afraid she’s going to lose it and spew “Who took my last can of soda?” venom all over poor Carina if she’s not careful.

(Ok this scene is very emotional and beautifully acted and please excuse me for this, but ahem the entire exchange happens while Maya is carrying around piles of fire hoses for exercise and Danielle Savre were all I could focus on the first time I watched. I AM ONLY HUMAN AFTER ALL!!! But also, I mean.. damn. Ok moving on!)

Andy correctly points out that the first step in not becoming her father is to admit that she doesn’t want to be her father, which means that Maya is well on her way. I agree completely! But the second step is probably therapy, and I hope Maya is able to get some support in that as well.

After her shift, all sweaty and just breathtakingly hot, Maya comes home. She goes to grab Carina for hug, who playfully demurs and asks Maya to take a shower first. But Maya’s anger flares in response, demanding to know what exactly is up with all the cheese taking over her kitchen. Carina surprisingly doesn’t rise to Maya’s anger. Instead she tells her that she misses home, she misses Italy. The Covid numbers are even worse there and she knows that with his mental illness, her father doesn’t listen to rules well. What if something happens to him? So instead of worrying, she is doing everything she can to make her home, well, feel like home.

Maya immediately softens (how could you not??) and shifts the conversation to telling Carina all about the baby she delivered — well more like caught flying out of this woman’s legs. But first, she is going to shower, and then they are going to get in bed naked. Yes m’am Captain Bisexual. Whatever you say.