Tag: KitschMix

What To Expect When Dating An Introvert – KitschMix

What To Expect When Dating An Introvert – KitschMix

For as long as I can remember, I’ve preferred my own company over the company of others. Some of it is anxiety, I’m sure. Some is probably insecurity.

But so much more of it is simply because I’m an introvert. I spent a lot of my childhood trying to fix my introversion – mistakenly thinking it was something I was just doing wrong. As I’ve grown up, however, I’ve learned that there’s nothing wrong with taking time for myself. Not only is it something I enjoy, but it’s something that I need as an introvert.

Introverts aren’t necessarily shy (although many are), they just cherish their quiet stillness and value their alone time. They recharge by themselves, as opposed to extroverts who are recharged by the energy of other people. That doesn’t mean an introvert and an extrovert aren’t compatible – it just means you need to know what you’re getting yourself into.


Introversion isn’t just one personality type.

While people are generally categorized as “an introvert” or “an extrovert,” the truth is that there is a lot of complexity within those two core types. When it comes to introverts, there’s a spectrum ranging all the way from antisocial introverts (those who would prefer to be alone because they think other people are terrible) to ambiverts (those who need time to be alone, but also need time around other people). Somewhere in the middle, there are selective introverts and shy introverts – those who are particular about the people in their lives and those who get nervous around new people, respectively.


Most introverts fall in the middle.

When you think of an introvert, you usually think of the antisocial introvert, but realistically most introverts aren’t antisocial – just selectively social. No one is in their life randomly; every day they interact with someone is a conscious choice. They are very choosy about who they get close to, so they’re not generally surrounded by a very large circle. You can trust that, if you’re in the circle of an introvert, they’ve already decided that you’re worth their time.


Introverts prefer deeper conversations.

Where extroverts can strike up a conversation with whoever they encounter, introverts don’t have such a luxury – so they’re very selective about the things they say, as well as who they say them to. Their conversations have direction and purpose, which means they’re not drawn to drama or mindless bickering. They’d prefer to work things out rather than just fight and argue.


Introverts are amazing listeners.

Introverts are attentive and thoughtful, and they take time to thoroughly process things before replying. This means that they won’t jump to hasty conclusions or speak just to hear themselves talk. They are concise with their own words, so they can better understand yours – including the ones you can’t express so well. If they can tell that it’s important to you, they’ll do their best to help you work through it.


Introverts are understanding, but they need you to understand, too.

Maybe it’s because of how much understanding they require in a relationship, but introverts tend to be some of the most understanding partners – as long as you’re not hurting them in the process. They need to feel appreciated and loved, so they’ll make sure you feel appreciated and loved. They need you to reach out first, because sometimes it’s hard to take that first step, but once the conversation starts, they’re ready to face it.


Introverts aren’t strangers to leaps of faith.

Generally speaking, introverts would prefer not to take unnecessary risks – so if the intro you’re interested in has given you the greenlight to pursue, understand that they’ve already invested a lot of thought into whether or not you’re worth it. They understand that love is a risky game to play, so just taking a chance on you is already a huge deal – make sure you’re playing fair!


Introverts need their own place to retreat.

It’s nothing personal, and it speaks nothing of your relationship, if the introvert you love needs to retreat to her own sanctuary occasionally (or often). Introverts need peace and intimacy, and they’d rather spend quality time with you than spend every minute by your side. Trust them, and respect their boundaries – the time you spend together is immensely valuable to them.


Introverts want to know their partner is satisfied.

Introverts are natural-born people-pleasers (well, with the exception of the antisocial introverts, of course). They will step out of their comfort zone if they think it will make their partner happy, and they remain concerned about their partner’s satisfaction during the entire relationship. They want to make sure you feel loved, appreciated, and happy from the first date to the very end.


Introverts are respectful whenever possible.

Your introvert love interest understands your need for personal space and privacy, because those are some of the deepest needs they have. They have high levels of emotional intelligence and would never want to impose. They also want to know that you feel your opinions are valued in the relationship, and they want you to speak up if something feels off – a roadmap to your happiness would likely be followed to the letter if you gave one.


Introverts are committed and loyal.

Relationships are a serious commitment to an introvert – they won’t enter one until after they’re sure of the other person. They may opt for loyalty before official title, and you might expect that you’re the only one they’re talking to even if you’re “just talking.” Cheating is out of the question – why would they stray from the person they’ve already committed themselves to?


Introverts will surprise you with their joy.

Just because an introvert needs a little extra time for themselves doesn’t mean that they’re boring – they just get joy from the simpler pleasures in life. The experiences they share with their most important people are precious, and they’ll enjoy those memories for years to come. To top it all off, they’ve got a witty sense of humor and are sure to make you laugh in the most unexpected ways.

16 Shows With Happy Endings For Their Queer Female Characters – KitschMix

16 Shows With Happy Endings For Their Queer Female Characters

It should go without saying, but… This post is gonna have some spoilers in it. Just getting that out of the way ahead of time.

The past few years have been a miracle in terms of queer representation on TV. More and more shows are starting to include (or at least allude to) non-heteronormative storylines, even if the LGBT characters aren’t the greatest representation of queer culture at large.

Still, even with all the representation we get these days, it’s still really, really hard to find a show that not only has queer characters, but lets them stay alive and partnered up and… You know… Not total jerks. (Sigh, PLL… Why did you have to make the only transgender character a psychopath, who then dies in a horrible way? And, of course, there have been two other queer ladies to die in that show, too. But I digress.)

With all that being said, there are a few shows which offered their lady-loving-ladies a happy ending when the show ended. Join us as we count them down now:


1. Ellen and Laurie, Ellen (1998)

It might be safe to assume that Ellen DeGeneres wouldn’t have allowed for her own character to have a horrible ending… But still, Ellen and Laurie finish out the show by confirming their commitment to each other, with the vow that they would be legally married as soon as it was possible to do so. 17 years later, it finally was – so the fandom should rejoice that the couple (presumably) made it down the aisle eventually.


2. Helen and Nikki, Bad Girls (2001)

Most jailhouse romances don’t seem to make it – partially because there’s the twisted idea that what happens behind bars “doesn’t really count.” Regardless, though, Helen and Nikki ended up running off into the proverbial sunset together, promising to take things slow onto the future. Aww. Slow-moving lesbian couples are my favorite.


3. Jessie and Katie, Once and Again (2002)

As a huge Evan Rachel Wood fan, it always makes me super happy to see her in anything… Even if she’s not playing a queer character. However, her character in Once and Again was definitely queer, and the two were still together when the show was cancelled. We can only assume that they’re still together 14 years later, because hello, who doesn’t dream of marrying their high school sweetheart? (At least, you dream of that while you’re with that person. I’m sure things change if you break up. I didn’t exactly have a high school sweetheart, so I can’t confirm.)


4. Willow and Kennedy, Buffy (2003)

Okay, okay… Kennedy isn’t Tara, and maybe we all hated her for that for a little while. But, to be fair, Willow seemed pretty happy with her – and they were still together when the show ended. TBH, our opinion about their relationship doesn’t matter as much as their happiness in their relationship, am I right? I’m right. Just trust me on this one.


5. Carol and Susan, Friends (2004)

Again, regardless of how you feel about the couple – and the fact that they were often paraded in front of poor Ross’s face at every available opportunity – there’s no doubt that they made each other happy. They even got married and raised little Ben together as a couple. Plus, Lea DeLaria and Candance Gingrich were in attendance at their wedding, which sort of gives them extra cool points. (We all wish we had such cool lesbian friends. Don’t even try to pretend you don’t.)


6. Melanie and Lindsay, Queer as Folk (2005)

Does it count as “happily ever after” if you break up and then get back together? I’d like to think it does. When they moved to Canada to get away from the US government, the rest of the LGBT community in the United States wanted to be right there with them. Sadly… I’m still stuck in the middle of California myself… But one day I, too, will flee to Canada with my other half. One day.


7. Kerry and Courtney, ER (2007)

Dr. Kerry Weaver went through more than her fair share of lesbian relationship woes before ending up with Courtney, but apparently the writers and producers came to their senses and made her fall for… a hot TV producer. Of course. Pat on the back to themselves, here, but whatevs – at least she’s happy at last!


8. Spencer and Ashley, South of Nowhere (2008)

Fun fact: This particular show had a lot to do with the timing of me coming out. Spashley went through a ridiculous number of bisexual back-and-forth, often trading turns with Aiden, the third side of their love triangle. However, once everything was said and done, Spashley ended up Uhauling off into the sunset together like every millennial queer chick in the fandom always knew they would.


9. Olivia and Natalia, Guiding Light (2009)

GL fans weren’t super happy about all the crazy trials and tribulations that these two had to face, but thankfully the writers came to their senses in the end and let the two stay together, “forever” – or at least until after the show ended.


10. Bette and Tina & Alice and Tasha, The L Word (2009)

It’s rare enough for a TV show to let one queer couple ending, but for one show to allow two couples to stay together and live happily ever after? Pure joy. However you might feel about Bette and Tina (I’m not a big fan, myself) it’s nice to know that they were able to work through things, I guess.

And, Alice and Tasha will always be my favorite couple from the show, even if it wasn’t exactly confirmed that they were getting back together. They totally were.


11. Chris and Kris & Jen and Sam, Exes & Ohs (2011)

Chris and Kris end up getting married and having a baby, while Jen and Sam happen to end up together too. Sure, it might have been another lesbian-centric storyline to begin with (which does increase the odds of an all-female relationship making it through), but still… Good job, Michelle Paradise, for making everyone happy with this one.


12. Remy and her girlfriend, House (2012)

As sad as it is that Thirteen lost her job, and she’s got Huntington’s Disease (probably), and that her girlfriend’s name wasn’t ever revealed… They had a lovely relationship, we’re sure of it. And, as far as we can tell, they’re going to spend the rest of their lives together, because if you break up off-camera in a TV show it doesn’t really count.


13. Brittany and Santana, Glee (2015)

I never really got into Glee when it was super popular, but Tumblr taught me all about the wonders that were the Brittana ‘ship. Once I ended up (briefly) dating a girl who was Brittana-obsessed, I got a little into it… And it turns out, the Brittana fandom got their way in the end, when the producers decided to let Brittany and Santana get married finally.


14. Julie and Nikki, The Returned (2015)

In a show that is literally about dead people, it’s hard to picture anything resembling a happy ending… Well, that is, anything about dead people that wasn’t directed by Tim Burton, of course. Anyway, Julie and Nikki not only made it in the end, but they even got to kiss when it was all said and done. Aww.


15. Alana and Margot, Hannibal (2015)

When the main character is a serial killer, you just know that people are going to die left and right. It was quite a shock, then, that Alana and Margot got to stay alive all the way to the end. Kudos, Alana and Margot… You guys really made it.


16. Bo and Lauren, Lost Girl (2016)

Any show that deals primarily in the supernatural is sure to have extra pressures put on the characters… Especially when most LGBT characters get killed off pretty early on. However, Bo and Lauren made it, which just proves that things can work out – as long as you’re a supernatural entity, at least.

15 Truths Of Falling For A Straight Girl – KitschMix

15 Truths Of Falling For A Straight Girl – KitschMix

Let’s face it: We’ve all had a crush on a straight girl at some point in our life. Sure, sometimes we convince ourselves that she’s not really straight, or that we’ll be the exception, or any number of things we tell ourselves so we feel just a little bit better.

But, to be clear, if she tells you she’s straight… Most likely, she does identify as such, and pushing her to give you a chance is a jerk move even if she is questioning. Trust me. If she wanted to question things right now, she’ll ask – but until then, respect her identity.

All disclaimers aside, let’s move onto the 15 truths of falling for a straight girl, as told through Tumblr posts.


Ugh.

tumblr_lzpo5wqxwy1qhe5vu


Cupid, can you just… Not?

screen-shot-2016-11-18-at-20-25-15

Straight girls, can you just not either?


But, then again, we could be totally awesome together.

tumblr_nog7zwopen1qjmbdio1_500

But, she’s probably going to wait until it’s too late.

screen-shot-2016-11-18-at-20-34-13

tumblr_inline_nfgezmwpyk1r0try9


And we’ll probably feel like this once we say it’s too late:

tumblr_inline_mm1p11ojpx1qz4rgp-1

Maybe we’ll just be friends.

screen-shot-2016-11-18-at-20-29-30

tumblr_inline_njlvuui0hd1rm3xm9


… or not.

tumblr_inline_nl9mpgxumj1sfu3g1

screen-shot-2016-11-18-at-20-31-21

tumblr_inline_nl9moc3bwj1sfu3g1


“I’m so gay for you!” … Yeah, right.

tumblr_nod18qnltd1qkc19io1_500

It would be kinda funny, if it wasn’t also super sad.

screen-shot-2016-11-18-at-21-01-40

Most of us have Googled “how to get over a straight girl.”

tumblr_ngyaz0a2sp1ttdqyio1_500


But this is what we end up doing instead:

tumblr_inline_nsjdm91l9d1swx031_500

Rest assured, you’re far from alone.

tumblr_inline_nnpkw2vu9o1sqgqyi_500

And it’s not really the straight girl’s fault (usually).

tumblr_nr3pya3lyo1rmnxvoo1_1280

All in all, though, it’s best to avoid it as much as you can.

But you can’t, because life is cruel. No Tumblr for this one, just some cold-hard truth!