Tag: offered

He offered a man a cigarette. Then, the stranger raped him. / Queerty

He offered a man a cigarette. Then, the stranger raped

Police in Cape Town, South Africa have arrested a suspect in connection with the brutal rape of a gay man on Saturday night.

The victim, whose name has not been released to the public to protect his identity, stopped to buy cigarettes while on a walk down Cape Town’s Church Street.  A stranger across the street asked if he could share a cigarette, and the victim agreed. After walking a short distance, the stranger then grabbed the victim and forced him into some nearby bushes where he raped him.

The victim returned home crying that night, waking his children and prompting his mother to alert law enforcement.

Related: A bunch of Fox News anchors have just been accused of rape and sexual harassment in damning lawsuit

“He happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and we fear what these incidents will do to him,” the victim’s mother told South African outlet IOL. “From what he’s telling us it seems as if the perpetrator had been planning this,” she added.

The victim’s mother goes on to say that the family knows and accepts the victim as a gay man, though the family fears for his safety in the homophobic climate of Cape Town. She also says this isn’t the first time he’s been attacked.

“He was almost raped here in Langa [a neighborhood in Cape Town] and at boarding school in Stellenbosch,” the victim’s mother says. “He once arrived here traumatized after he was attacked and almost got raped by a group of men in Stellenbosch.” She also added that he’s experienced insomnia as a result of the Saturday attack.

For the greater Cape Town community, the attack on this victim sends an ominous signal about the safety of the city, and about the nature of sex crimes in general.

“This is the first case we have dealt with and to have such cases where there are calls for the end of gender-based violence and the raping not only of women and children but everyone is upsetting,” said Anele Gqasana of Langa Community Advice Services, a legal and civil rights counseling group based in Cape Town.

At the time of this writing, police have not released the name of the suspect in the case. He remains in custody awaiting his first court appearance.

South Africa is typically labeled the most queer-friendly destination in Africa. LGBTQ people enjoy marriage equality, discrimination protections in housing and employment, adoption rights and can serve in the military. Public opinion surveys, however, paint a more complicated picture of queer acceptance in the nation. A 2015 survey revealed that though a 51% majority of respondents believed LGBTQ people should have the same rights as straight South Africans, a whopping 72% viewed homosexuality as morally wrong.

His former dom just offered him an assistant job — should he take it? / Queerty

His former dom just offered him an assistant job —

File this under HR headaches: A guy who’s been unemployed since the pandemic crisis started is now considering working for his former dom.

This particular Reddit user told his brethren in the r/askgaybros forum that he hooked up with this “tall, muscular, and hung” dom a while ago and broke things off because the dom is married.

But through a twist of fate, the two happened upon each other on Adam4Adam and started chatting again. “He immediately tells me that he is looking for an assistant to work for his company and that he could pay me a decent salary when I look for a new role,” the Redditor wrote. “He complains that everyone who applies is an idiot and he knows I am smart enough to do it.”

Related: His boyfriend wants him to sleep with his boss for a promotion… should he do it?

As if to make the situation even more fraught, the dom also mentioned the possibility of sex in the workplace. “He insists that we could fool around sparingly if the opportunity arose, but that it wouldn’t be required and that he primarily wants to hire me because he thinks I am smart enough to do the job,” the guy added. “To quote him, ‘No, I actually need to fill the role. I know you can do this which makes my life better. Maybe the sex does or doesn’t happen. But I need someone regardless.’”

One commenter on the thread was all about the idea. “What have you got to lose?” that commenter wrote. “You could always quit if it doesn’t work out.”

Recommended another: “Take the job but insist on no sex. Also insist on going through the normal interview and hiring process, you’re not taking any special favors. You want to be treated like any other employee and that includes the sexual harassment and relationship restrictions.”

And a third commenter suggested taking screenshots of the conversation. “He’s given you the perfect out or defense material if he tries to go back on his word that he wouldn’t inherently expect sex.”

Related: Grad realizes his job interviewer is “that daddy from last week,” asks Internet for help

Others, however, seemed to think the original poster should look elsewhere for employment. “He’s definitely going to ask for sex whenever he wants,” one user wrote. “Are you willing to do that?”

“He’s trying to hire you so he has an easily-accessible Fleshlight at work,” said another. “If you’re okay with that, go ahead, but I don’t think this is gonna end well. The power dynamic is so f*cked up.”

Added someone else: “Honestly be careful with stuff like this. Not only myself but others have dealt with this. If he’s the type to get angry easily, then you might get fired fairly quickly. Or if he also gets bored or you no longer want to have sex, then you’re not going to like where this ends. Just my own perspective.”

By the way, a 2018 EdenFantasy study found that 44 percent of people polled had had a workplace romance and that 1 in 5 workplace romances resulted in a lost job. The survey also found that 14 percent of respondents had had sex at their workplace and that 1 in 5 of those people was caught in the act. Just words of warning here, people! Sometimes a little work/life separation isn’t a bad thing.