Tag: Quarantine

Holigay Gift Guide: Sexy Gifts Based on Quarantine Style

Holigay Gift Guide: Sexy Gifts Based on Quarantine Style

Everyone’s quarantine situation is just a little different. Wondering how to make your giftee’s just a little bit hotter? Here’s what sexy gift to give based on their quarantine style, whether they haven’t left the house since March, are forced to work under capitalism, are stuck with a very recent ex, and more. Remember that some categories may overlap. Sex toys for all!


The Person Who Has Not Been Outside Except For Groceries Since March

What do you get the quarantining person who has everything except human touch? A fucking machine of their very own.

Liberator Pulse Toy Mount
Keep a vibrator or dildo in place and moving with you hands-free with a Liberator Pulse Toy Mount. It’s low and narrow for straddling, has one toy mount for a larger toy and two smaller pockets that can fit bullet vibrators, and is wrapped in soft, machine-washable microfiber. Note that Covid-related shipping days mean it’s best to order this one as early as possible for gift giving.

Cowgirl Sex Machine
If you want to get extra — or maybe just fantasize — the Cowgirl is a rideable fucking machine that can be controlled via a wired remote or an app, comes with two silicone attachments for external or penetrative stimulation, and has no assembly required.

Fun Factory Stronic Surf
Bigger fucking machines have quite a footprint, so for something that wouldn’t obstruct a webcam’s view (or, in the future, a partner’s), the Stronic Surf is a silicone pulsator with distinct ridges that thrusts nearly hands-free. It’s a little bit smaller than the toys in the original Stronic line, so if the Eins was too tight a fit, the Surf might be justttt right.


The Person Who Has Not Touched Another Living Being Since March

Without touch, skin hunger is real. There’s only so much someone can do for their own skin hunger without, y’know, actually touching and getting touch from another human being, but a few things can help.

Olivia’s Boudoir Tuxedo Massage Candle
Self-massage, including of the shoulders, neck, hands, and feet, can go a little smoother with a massage candle. This one is made of soy, olive, and coconut oils; smells like bergamot, sandalwood, and musk; and works best when the candle melts out to the edge of the glass and then is extinguished before use.

Doxy Die-Cast Wand
For earlier generations, using back massagers as vibrators was considered a powerful step in empowerment. I’m not saying that today, using vibrators as back massagers is quite the same thing — but I am saying it can work. The Doxy Die-Cast Wand is a powerful, heavy vibrator with a handle that can help get to harder to reach spots, whether your neck, you back, etc.

Kink Spike Solid Metal Pinwheels
To go in a kinkier direction, help your giftee top themselves with the Kink Spike Solid Metal Pinwheels, a five-wheel instrument that can range from a light sensation to a more lingering one depending on how firmly its used.


The Person Quarantining With Anyone They’re Not Fucking

Discretion is key when you’re trying to have a solo — or partnered — sex life that runs smoothly alongside a shared living situation, whether with family of all types, roommates, or a combination of folks.

We-Vibe Tango
Tiny enough to easily stash and rumbly enough to stand alone, the We-Vibe Tango is a quiet rechargeable bullet that’s deceptively powerful. Familiar enough with your giftee’s toy box to know they already have one? The Dragon Claw by Uberprime is designed to encase the Tango in textured, bumpy silicone for an elevated external experience.

Written Erotica
As anyone who’s ever thrown their porn through an unsuspecting housemate’s Bluetooth speakers will tell you, sometimes it’s nice to take your porn analog. Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, volume 5, edited by Sinclair Sexsmith and Best Bondage Erotica of the Year, volume 1, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, are a few recent titles. (And may I suggest my Lesbian Sexting the Zine?) And if your giftee still isn’t an A+ subscriber, S L I C K is a gift that will keep on giving.

LectroFan Premium White Noise Machine
Sometimes privacy is the best sex toy of all.


The Person Quarantining With A Partner

Whether you’ve been together years or went on a first date in May that just never ended (please do not do this), anyone quarantining with a partner or two might be finding it time to mix it up. Get some noise-isolating headphones for everyone in the household to keep the mystery and fracturing illusion of privacy and independence alive, and then check out these add-ons to some favorite toys.

Pop Tops Silicone Wand Attachment
Make a long-loved wand vibrator more exciting with this Pop Tops Silicone Wand Attachment, which tops the Magic Wand and similarly sized vibrator heads. It’s removable and easy to clean — just don’t pair it with silicone lube.

Le Wand Curve Weighted Silicone Attachment
For a Le Wand owner, the Le Wand Curve Weighted Silicone Attachment is a way to add penetration and heft to a favorite toy. (Just make sure the toy and attachment match – the Le Wand Petit has its own similar attachment.)

Tenga Egg 6-Pack, Hard Boiled Edition
Pull a disposable Tenga Egg down over any vibrator it fits for external use or, for people with penises, use one as a sleeve to make masturbation feel a little different. Each Tenga Egg has a different texture, so try the variety pack or select a few individually! (They’re made of TPE, so remember that they’re ultimately disposable and not safe to share.)

Double-Sided Suction Cup
Two (favorite dildos with flat bases) become one with this double-sided suction cup. It can also secure one flat-base dildo to a compatible wall.


The Person Quarantining With An Ex

Cohabitating with a recent ex is never easy, and it’s even harder in quarantine, when no one can safely escape for a night out or crash on someone else’s couch for a few hours or days. You’re stuck with each other, and you’re also in a world without rebound sex. What’s a queer to do? These toys mimic the sensation of sex with another person for rebound vibes without actually being in the same space as a one-night stand. Use them alone, or for toys with a remote option head over to r/ToyControl to play with an online stranger.

We-Vibe Melt
We-Vibe’s parent company purchased Womanizer, and the We-Vibe Melt is a result: the Womanizer’s air pulsing and sucking that feels just enough like oral, with We-Vibe’s aesthetic and We-Connect app control (now that they’ve allegedly addressed that pesky privacy problem). It’s also pretty quiet, so an ex in the other room should (hopefully) not immediately know what’s up — and it’s waterproof, so the running water from a shower or bath can add some extra privacy.

Lovense Hush Butt Plug
The Lovense Hush is a vibrating butt plug that can sync to music or ambient noise via app control for an unpredictable vibration experience that gets a little closer to the feel of another person. Pair this break-up butt plug with — yep — noise-isolating headphones for an immersive experience.

We-Vibe Rave
Okay, the We-Vibe Rave is reminiscent of sex with another person more because it’s fun to use alone or during sex with another person, and not so much because of its sensations. Nevertheless! The Rave is a rumbly, versatile, external or g-spot vibrator that your giftee will wonder how they lived without. Just make sure there’s no dispute about who wins it in the break up.


The Person Who Can’t Quarantine Because of Frontline Work, Houselessness, or Capitalism

This person deserves something that’s lavish af and also easy to clean or disinfect.

nJoy Fun Wand
Weighty without weighing down, the nJoy Fun Wand is a double-ended steel dildo that’s great for vaginas and butts. Start with the graduated bulbs to get used o the girth, or dive right in.

nJoy Pure Plug 
Is there any buttplug more perfect than the nJoy Pure Plug? Our reviewer doesn’t think so. Try it in medium for an all-around fit, run it under warm or cool water fo a touch of temperature play, and clean it with soap and water and a boil if that’s available.

Sutil Rich Lube
Pair the sexy stainless steel above — or any silicone toy — with a cushiony water-based and body-safe lube for an all-in-one experience. Plus, the tube is biodegradable.


The Person Could Quarantine And… Isn’t

Page not found.

I’m hornier than ever in quarantine. What do I do? / Queerty

I’m hornier than ever in quarantine. What do I do?

Dear Jake,

Quarantine has me feeling hornier than ever, but I feel super conflicted about hooking up since we’re supposed to be socially distancing and I don’t want to get myself or anyone else sick. Still, I spend all this time on Grindr, but then bail at the last minute because of the guilt. If don’t hook up, I become sexually frustrated, but if I do, I’m risking my physical health. What do I do?

-Horned Up But Locked Down

Dear Horned Up But Locked Down,

Somehow, I don’t think you’re the only horny guy going bonkers in quarantine. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way during this time, especially because many of us have lost our jobs or are working alternate schedules from home, so boredom can be a big factor in our lives. What’s a better time killer than perusing page after page of shirtless torsos?

Many of us are also feeling anxiety, which can be an uncomfortable emotion. We don’t know when this crisis is going to end, we are uncertain about our finances and health, and we’re left alone with nothing but the sound of our own voice in our heads. It’s easy to want to reach for something to make you feel good when you’re feeling “squirrely.” Normally, hooking up can be a harmless escape, as long as it’s not negatively affecting your life in some way.

That said, in this case, acting upon your feelings could quite literally be deadly. That “guilt” you are feeling could actually be a lifesaver. We must prioritize the social distancing guidelines to the fullest extent, despite the emotional consequences (especially for LGBTQ people).

Unfortunately, there’s no PrEP for coronavirus, so there’s no way to have a responsible hookup that doesn’t put you or your partner at risk. Even if the guy you’re chatting with swears he has no symptoms, you can’t know for sure. Many people who carry the virus are asymptomatic.

Part of looking for a hookup online, however, is the fantasy. It’s the idea that if you just look a little bit longer, eventually you’ll reach “the one.” It’s the anticipation of that Ricky Martin look-alike that keeps us going sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with fantasy during this time. Grindr can be harmless for some virtual foreplay, or maybe to line up something in the future when all the restrictions end.

If you’re still feeling frustrated, there are still things you can do. Go on a cam site and have all the virtual sex you want. Or stick to some of those good, old-fashioned adult videos. I know it’s not the same thing, but just think of how good your first hookup is going to be after all these months of pent up sexual energy.

You aren’t alone, and we’re all feeling frustrated in these bizarre circumstances. Stay safe first and foremost. You’ll thank yourself later.

Jake Myers is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Angeles. He has a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology, with a specialization in LGBT Affirmative Psychotherapy.

Also.Also.Also: Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson Are Doing Quarantine Like Two Introverts in Love

Also.Also.Also: Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson Are Doing Quarantine Like

Welcome to your Thursday evening!! Here’s some links for you to read while you drink that glass of wine (or 8oz of water — I love you!)


Queer as in F*ck You

Candid Photographs of the Transgender Women of 1950s and 1960s Paris. Easily, and without any doubt, the most beautiful images I saw today.

Cis Women Can’t Ignore Trump’s Anti-Trans Shelter Policy by Samantha Riedel for Bitch Media

Economic Justice Is Necessary to Stop Murders of Trans Women of Color

Lesbian Baker in Detroit Got Homophobic Cake Order: Why She Made It Anyway. I’m really sad about this story because… obviously. But also this is my local bakery, it’s one I got to like once or twice a month for special treats, and I love it there. I HAD NO IDEA THE OWNER WAS A LESBIAN!! So now I love it so much more!!

Holland Taylor Answers Every Question We Have About Legally Blonde by Rachel Handler for Vulture. This is SO MUCH FUN! Just absolutely delightful! Highlights include the two queer women having debate on whether The L Word’s Peggy Peabody is gay. (No one asked me, but… She obviously was.)

Other things that Holland talks about include: Legally Blonde, duh; quarantining with Sarah Paulson — I know you want to know that! — and giving a shout out to one of my favorite black queer women writers, Angela Robinson!

There’s also this very sweet gem:

“I live my life in public. I do everything that I would do if I were an unknown person married to a man. I just live my life. And so if I happen to be seen in public, I’m not trying to be something that I’m not. But on the same token, I don’t talk with any depth about my private life because it’s not my personal style. But tweeting about Sarah’s show that she’s in and how wonderful she is, or even our personal tweets that we do back and forth, is not deeply personal. Or let’s say — it’s not private. I don’t have private communications with her in public. I don’t talk about the private aspect of our relationship in public. But I exist … I live in the public. And so I’m on Twitter. I love Twitter. Sarah doesn’t do Twitter so much.” 😍 💖

Literally everyone at Autostraddle cannot stop watching this on a loop:

Marry me, please. And then make us a wedding gazebo made out of recycled wine crates that you paint yourself, because wow “you love a project.”


Saw This, Thought of You

Happy Black Women’s Equal Pay Day! August 13th is Black Women’s Equal Pay Day. But what is Equal Pay Day, and what does it mean for the state of the gender and racial pay gap? (I’ll give you a hint, if you are a non-Black woman reading this right now, it means that if we had the same job, you would still get paid more than me. Maybe we should… I dunno… Fix that?)

The Untold Story of the Black Women Fighting to Remove Racist Statues

The Post Office Is Deactivating Mail Sorting Machines Ahead of the Election. “Good thing nobody’s predicting a huge surge in mail any time soon.” HA!

And while we are on THAT subject! 83% of Etsy Shops Are Run by Women. Postal Service Disruptions Could Devastate Them.

Tampax Made an Ad Showing How to Insert a Tampon. It Got Pulled off the Air.

Powerpoint Activism Is Taking Over Your Friends’ Instagram Accounts (Vanessa recommends pairing that with The Revolution Will Be Aestheticized: Some Thoughts on Instagram Politics by Mary Retta)


Political Snacks

At Least 183 Democratic Women Are on U.S. House Ballots, Breaking the 2018 Election Cycle Record

The Suffrage Movement Is Still Unfinished, Particularly for Black and Latino Voters

AOC Has 60 Seconds to Speak at the Democratic Convention. That Decision Is ‘Radically Tone-Deaf,’ Some Women Say. I am one of those women! FYI: Only two of the 35 speakers are under the age of 50.

Karine Jean-Pierre, Kamala Harris' new lesbian chief of staff, stands behind a podium in a cream colored tweed jacket and the cutest tiny Afro. She's talking into the microphone like she means serious business.

I realize this isn’t the point at all, but I’m obsessed with how gorgeous her hair is.

Black Lesbian Political Powerhouse Karine Jean-Pierre Announced as Kamala Harris’s Chief of Staff

Kamala Harris Isn’t the First Black Woman to Run for VP. Meet Charlotta Bass. Charlotta Bass was a newspaper publisher and Black political activist, and she ran as the Progressive Party candidate for Vice President in 1952. She was presumed to be a Communist, and I believe that’s why I never learned about her before this morning. But damn, I am so glad to know about her now.