Tag: sex

Let’s talk about ‘g0ys,’ gay men who are so opposed to anal sex that they’ve created a little club / Queerty

Let’s talk about ‘g0ys,’ gay men who are so opposed

What is a g0y?

According to Urban Dictionary, it’s “a guy who finds men attractive, but for whatever reason is offended by the stigmas that currently define the ‘gay community’ in the public psyche.”

G0ys shun effeminate behavior because they thinks it’s “cowardly.” They also refrain from calling one another things like “girl”, “bitch”, or “queen.” But their biggest hangup is anal sex. They don’t believe in it because they think it’s a “violent act” that represents “the ultimate form of sexual disrespect.”

The website g0ys.org, which labels itself “Ground ZER0 in the ‘UNgay’ Paradigm Shift!,” calls the whole g0y movement “an explosively popular awakening among men in general – sweeping the globe.”

The site explains:

Our well reasoned positions regarding basic, male sexuality have taken to task both: religious “fundamentalists”, -and- the “liberal gay leftists”.  G0YS are among the healthiest men of any demographic on the planet, & sexually transmitted diseases are a virtual non-issue. How can this be? G0YS, by our very nature, reject ALL anal-fetish related acts! And, we strongly discourage physical intimacy with others who reject our mindset.  This mental trait lowers our risk of perilous sexually transmitted diseases by: 1,250,000% (vs. the men who call themselves “gay”)!

Don’t ask us where they got that figure.

The word “g0y” purportedly comes from ancient Hebrew and is spelled with a zero instead of the letter “o” for a few reasons. First, the g0ys say, it is to create a “departure from stereotype.”

G0ys.org explains, “A term was needed that had some meaning behind it, while being simple enough for people to remember; — plus stir some curiosity.”

Also, they don’t like the letter “a” because that’s the first letter in the word “anal” and they really. don’t. like. anal.

“The term needed to confront sloppy theology that supports “everything gAy” — including Anal,” g0ys.org says. “G0YS reject Anal-Sex! It’s dirty, dangerous & damn – disrespectful of masculinity.”

G0ys.org says:

According to the CDC, condoms fail about 2% of the time during analsex.  On a 360 day year, assuming only 1 screw a day, that’s 720 buttphucks (360×2 partners).  720×2%= 14 condom failures. Since it only takes (1) failure to spread a deadly STD/STI, that’s 1300% overkill.  Last time I saw an overkill factor like that it was tied to the nuclear weapons program.  Have 1/14th of a nuclear war & everyone is still dead. Ironic how the penis resembles a missle….

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there.

You see, AnalSex is ALWAYS a VIOLENT ACT. ALWAYS. And did I mention that it’s VIOLENT 100% of the time?  The FACT (say “FACT”) is that the human rectum (whether male or female) is NOT designed to be used as a dick-dock.  Every single occurrence of that act damages the recipient in some fashion as well as creating a conduit for disease that is some +5000% more contagious than even 0ralSex (according to the CDC & World Health 0rganization).  It’s +5000% MORE FUKK’N CONTAGIOUS on top (pun) of ALWAYS being INJURIOUS to the physical structures in the recipient!

How to Figure Out What You Really Want During Sex

How to Figure Out What You Really Want During Sex

Who is your authentic sexual self?

It’s a question rarely posed, and difficult to answer. As a therapist who specializes in holistic sex education and pleasure-focused care, I often find that this is the question many of my clients are desperate to answer. The impact of being in the dark about our sexuality is painfully clear, and also painfully common. Folks who struggle with confusion around sex and sexuality are often also struggling with anxiety, depression, feelings of guilt and shame, feeling isolated or “like a freak,” and, sadly, sometimes also bring histories of trauma into the room. They show up overwhelmed, sad or frustrated, and full of self-blame and self-criticism. Most often, they describe feeling “stuck,” both within their important intimate relationships, and within their relationships with themselves.

As a sex educator and therapist, I truly believe that our embodied experience of sexuality, our connection with our sexual selves, is perhaps one of the central most important ways of being in the world. Now, with so much fear and overwhelm being generated in response to the global pandemic COVID-19, more commonly known as the coronavirus, as well as the biological stress that accompanies very necessary harm reduction methods like social distancing and quarantine, discovering and cultivating our own unique experiences of pleasure is more important than ever. Pleasure, eroticism, and the balm of being authentically who we are is healing; it soothes our nervous systems, decreases our stress levels, and ultimate keeps us healthier.

This is all true regardless of orientation (and, I want to note here, also includes experiences on the asexual spectrum, since asexuality is as valid an experience of sexuality as any other). When we don’t understand this aspect of ourselves, we feel blocked. It becomes difficult to come into contact with our source of erotic and creative energy, life force energy which sex and relationship expert Esther Perel calls the “antidote to death.” An authentic and embodied connection to our sexual selves is crucial to our well-being, particularly in this moment in time within disaster capitalism, where all the power structures that organize our society force us to relate to ourselves as workers whose job it is to produce, rather than as human beings whose calling it is to play, to love, to care, to feel, and to create.

It’s not surprising to me that many of my clients come to therapy seeking help understanding their sexual identities and relationship styles. This goes double for my queer clients, the demographic that makes up the majority of my practice. One of the first things I learned when I started my study of sex education, after all, was just how abysmal the state of sex education is in the United States, with only 39 of all 50 states and the District of Columbia requiring sex ed and HIV education to be taught in schools, and only 17 states requiring that the information, if provided, be “medically, technically, and factually accurate.” Only 3 states prohibit sex ed programming from promoting religion, whereas 19 states “require instruction on the importance of engaging in sexual activity only within marriage” (emphasis mine). For queer folks, the state of sex education is often even grimmer, as evident in the fact that even in the year 2020, seven states still require that “only negative information to be provided on homosexuality,” and that heterosexuality be “positively emphasized.”

These requirements have to do with sexuality education’s place within public schools, yet most of the clients I see are at least in their early twenties if not well on their way into adulthood. This, too, is unsurprising, as mainstream sex education seems to consider sexuality as something that just springs upon us during puberty, rather than considering the fact that an erotic engagement with the world is something that all of us experience since birth. The reason for this is multifaceted: sex and sexuality are, of course, still highly taboo, nowhere more so than when considering the topic of sex alongside the topic of childhood. Parents are often uncomfortable discussing sex with their children, and are very rarely given the tools and education required to do so in a way that not only prepares them to impart accurate and age appropriate information to their kids, but also guides them through the discomfort of unlearning the harmful messages they’ve internalized from their own childhoods.

The fact that most sex education occurs in public schools present another facet to the taboo: In order for teachers to feel safe enough to discuss such a highly stigmatized topic and keep their jobs, they of course have to operate within the requirements set forth by their individual districts and states. Curricula is often limited to abstinence and pregnancy prevention and information about STIs; if students are very, very lucky, they’ll have lessons that include the topic of consent outside of the overly simplistic standard of “No means no.” But too rarely is any space given to some of the most important aspects of sex education outside of the umbrella of mere safety: the nuances of consent, embodiments of gender and sexuality that diverge from compulsive cisheteronormativity, non-normative relationship styles, and pleasure.

All of which are, of course, aspects that feed into a person’s understanding of their authentic sexual self.

Sex educators online have heroically filled the gaps where mainstream sex education has fallen short. And, of course, guides to uncovering your own authentic sexuality abound in articles, books, podcasts, and coaching courses. These resources often suggest creating an intentional masturbation practice, or spending time getting to know your own unique fantasies, or even challenging yourself to watch porn for inspiration. (Pay for your porn if this is the route you take! You’ll be doing the ethical thing by sex workers, and will be getting better quality porn for your trouble in the meantime!)

But the road to authentic sexuality is as unique as the person seeking it, and there is no one size fits all method. Similarly, even the most well meaning suggestions and advice folks find online is often several steps ahead of where they’re at in terms of what they’re willing to try. If that sounds familiar, here are some things to keep in mind.

Sexual Subjectivity

Where did you first learn to be “good,” or what behaviors or desire made you “bad” (and how are these delineations related to pleasure)? Where, or how frequently, do the “should” statements pop up in your life, and what happens when they do?

What does it mean to ask someone “Who is your authentic sexual self?” When working with clients, one of the places I start involves listening for the stories people tell – and listening to the unspoken stories they’ve internalized. They’re simple, but quite subtle, and often have to do with being good (and thus socially accepted and safe) or bad (and thus socially ostracized and in danger).

When, with some gentle prompting, clients begin to bring their attention to some of these things, it’s often transformative. In sex education terms, part of what we’re talking about is the idea of sexual subjectivity, or who you are as a sexual subject. For folks of marginalized gender identities, often we’re taught to relate to ourselves as objects rather than subjects; things to be acted on rather than protagonists with agency at the center of our own narratives; performers for others’ pleasure rather than people capable of experiencing and pursuing immense pleasure of our own. Sexual subjectivity is your own unique sense of sexual selfhood, and it is a key component of uncovering your authentic sexuality.

Because we’re social creatures, our idea of self is created in the context of relationships; relationships with other people, certainly, but also with the structures and social forces that inform our identities and the relationships we have. This is why, as sex educator and sex ed business coach Cameron Glover notes, “It’s not comprehensive sex ed without racial justice education.” Racism, misogyny, ableism, fatphobia… all of these are hurdles to navigate in the journey towards a more authentic sexual self. The specific ways these hurdles inform the stories we tell about our lives, of course, depends on who we are and how we experience the world.

For example, sex educator, writer, and bisexual superhero Gabrielle Alexa described one impact of biphobia on bisexual sexual subjectivity thus: “We have to go so much harder to prove that we belong and that we’re authentic, so we often minimize the different-sex aspect of our attractions and behaviors. It definitely means that we’re influenced to perform queerness a little bit louder than we might otherwise, which requires code-switching because it also puts us at risk [of violence]. And of course, a large part of bi+ identity when you’re perceived as a woman is viewed as performing for the male gaze.”

When asked how this has influenced her life personally, she said, “I feel like I have to perform PDA twice as much or my bisexuality will be doubted – but if I’m too enthusiastic or I’ve chosen the wrong space, it can lead to rejection or violence. Bi+ folks therefore have to sacrifice safety for visibility, or vice versa, or find a middle-ground between the two, when considering how we want to express ourselves.”

HOMEWORK

We keep ourselves hemmed in for so much of the time, in an effort to be “good” and avoid shame. But avoidance of shame is not pleasure or authentic joy; it’s stagnation, anxiety, and spinning your wheels – often in the service of the oppressive structures that got you there in the first place. For one week, practice paying attention to moments in your life when you notice your “shoulds” popping up. You can scribble them down in a journal, just a sentence or two, or make note of them on your phone. What decisions do you make around how you “should” be and things you “should” do? How do you feel?

Just notice – you don’t necessarily have to change anything yet, if it feels safer to listen to the “should” voice. And in working with clients around sexuality and authenticity, since those topics are so charged, I’m also quick to remind them that we start out small, so you don’t even need to be focusing purely on sexual “shoulds.” But in those moments, allow yourself to imagine other alternatives, the things you want (and the feelings associated with them), rather than the things you “should” do.

Creativity, Curiosity, and Play

What messages did we receive about sex and pleasure from the time before we were consciously sexual beings capable of experiencing what we now recognize as desire? And are we still allowing these messages to influence how we show up in our sexuality today?

In an ideal world, all of us would have been encouraged to develop our sense of autonomous erotic selfhood from the time we were children. To be clear, this does not mean that children should be encouraged to have sex, or that it’s not of utmost importance to educate children about their bodies, sex, and sexuality in a safe and age appropriate way. But our fear of even having conversations about sex and childhood, and the continued taboo around sexuality, along with entrenched systems of oppression under capitalism, is part of what creates such a sexually dangerous environment for children and young people in the first place.

And yet – children are more naturally in touch with the erotic world than adults are by a mile. (This is perhaps one reason why our culture encourages parenting that deprives them of their autonomy in the name of supposed safety.) In her famous essay “The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” Audre Lorde describes the erotic as “a resource within each of us that lies in a deeply female and spiritual plane, firmly rooted in the power of our unexpressed or unrecognized feeling.” Systems of oppression, she writes, must, in order to continue and maintain themselves, “must corrupt or distort those various sources of power within the culture of the oppressed that can provide energy for change.”

To Lorde, the erotic was not only about sex, and in fact, the conflation and relegation of eroticism solely to the realm of sexuality was part of what retracted from its true power: the power of creativity, curiosity, and play. This was, of course, a direct result of capitalism: “The principal horror of any system which defines the good in terms of profit rather than in terms of human need, or which defines human need to the exclusion of the psychic and emotional components of that need—the principal horror of such a system is that it robs our work of its erotic value, its erotic power and life appeal and fulfillment.”

Clients often come to me looking to “solve” the problem of their sexuality, a limiting and judgmental mindset in and of itself, though an understandable one. We live in a world where we’re supposed to have it all – a great, fun, well-paying job, a loving intimate relationship (but with ONE person, usually someone of the so-called “opposite” gender), a wild gaggle of friends who you spend every weekend with (while somehow still having time for your partner), several degrees and babies (somehow simultaneously), and multiple simultaneous orgasms every single day – within circumstances that leave most of us almost nothing to work with in any sustainable way. And we’re supposed to do all of that in front of our legions of followers on social media, because pics or it didn’t happen, right?

But our sexualities are not something to solve, and our lives are not just a series of images we’re creating for validation from friends and strangers. Authentic sexuality is about experiencing and embodiment, and being attuned to what that means for you, specifically, is powerful. It’s a powerful unlearning of what we’re all taught we’re supposed to be, and how we should behave if we want to be deemed “good.”

HOMEWORK

Think of the way a baby eats: food smeared all over their face and hands, flecks of raspberry and mango everywhere, unworried about stains on clothing or making a facial expression that might offend. Think of the way a toddler interacts with the world when they are somewhere they feel safe: no toy box left unturned, loudly and with abandon, fearless, shameless. What would it be like to imagine these attitudes for yourself as you begin your excavation of your authentic sexual self? In what small ways could you practice childlike wonder and newness?

Remembering Adolescent Desire

Who were you when you were a teenager? What did you interact with that set your whole spirit on fire? What stirred your curiosity and left you lying awake at three in the morning with your whole body humming? What made you cry into your pillow or rage at your parents or sneak out of the window at night?

As mentioned above, typically we think of sexuality as starting somewhere around puberty. Most discussions of sexuality before that point have to do with determining what is “normal” and what is “problematic.” A quick Google search of “childhood sexuality” will show you article after article listing how to assess your child’s behavior for signs of sexual abuse, or instruct you in how to “shape and manage” your child’s behavior. While it’s certainly important to know how to keep children safe from abuse, the tenor of information reads dishearteningly more like scare tactics than education – much like mainstream sex ed itself.

The tension between normal and not only continues once puberty hits, though by then, we’re also doing it to ourselves. When I think back to what puberty was like for me in terms of sex and sexuality, the word that comes immediately to mind is stressful. I was very afraid, a lot of the time, that something was deeply wrong with me. More than anything else, I just wanted to belong, to fit in, and to be like everybody else (while also, of course, being known for being exactly who I was).

But my private desires, my fantasies, were my own, and not anyone else’s, and returning to that time and time again is what has helped me uncover my own sexual authenticity.

Teens, like children, are often wild with creativity, a key feature of the erotic. Teens write zines, poetry, fan fiction. They make art. They make music. They sing, they perform, they choreograph dances that take the nation by storm. Does anything in your life move you in quite the same way now, even the smallest hint of it? Find those corners, those edges, those threads, and pull.

HOMEWORK

Reflect on your first experiences of fantasy. One of the brilliant things about being an adolescent is we interact with sexuality for the first time in almost a more pure and physically charged way. Part of that is just puberty (hormones on parade!) and where we’re at developmentally, struggling to carve our own sense of who we are while still navigating the tension of our desperate need for the approval and solidarity of our peers. We interact with sexuality before we learn more explicitly some of the “shoulds” of sex – what’s “problematic,” what’s “normal,” what might make us “freaks” for wanting it, thinking of it, getting turned on by it. But the beauty of fantasy is that there’s no wrong way to do it, and you can’t harm anyone by indulging privately in your imagination. Take some time to think back to your first experiences of being turned on. What were your drawn to? What would it be like to playfully indulge in those fantasies once again? What feelings come up? How does your body respond?

Holding Space for Trauma

It is impossible to write about sex at all without writing about trauma. Uncovering your authentic sexuality is a healing process, and if we’re healing, by necessity, of course there is harm from which we must heal. All of my clients are healing from trauma in some way, shape, or form, some to greater degrees, others, lesser. The sex negative and purity-obsessed culture we all grew up in is traumatizing. As always, I recommend support from a caring and informed professional through this process, if it’s available for you, especially around trauma.

The world we live in – organized by white supremacist, cisheternormative, ableist, fatphobic, whorephobic, sex negative capitalism – is also inherently traumatic. Many of us have experienced interpersonal acts of violation and betrayal on top of that. In the words of Dr. Jennifer Mullan of @decolonizingtherapy, “I heal in parts – because systematic dis-ease took me apart.”

It’s okay to go slow. It’s go to commit to this process in fits and starts. It’s okay to doubt yourself, to be afraid, to phone it in, to disconnect if you have to. It’s okay if the idea of childlike wonder is a foreign concept to you, or that even thinking about thinking about your adolescence is too uncomfortable, or painful, bear. There is no timeframe to adhere to. There is no race, no goal, no comparison to make. Your authentic sexual self is waiting for you, whenever you’re ready. Your authentic sexual self may show up unexpectedly, too, shining into your life here and there when you least expect it. Your authentic sexual self has been there all along, buried deep beneath the bullshit, but still there. You are here to be curious and creative, no matter what you have experienced. You are here for pleasure and joy.

California governor Gavin Newsom ends anti-LGBT sex offence disparity

California governor Gavin Newsom ends anti-LGBT sex offence disparity

The governor of California Gavin Newsom has signed a bill that eliminates a disparity in sex offence laws treating LGBT+ people more harshly, despite attacks from the far-right, Donald Trump Jr and Ted Cruz.

In a low-key announcement on Friday (September 11) amid the wildfire emergency in the state, Newsom’s office confirmed he had signed SB 145 — one week after the state legislature approved the bill, penned gay Democratic lawmaker Scott Wiener.

Wiener was threatened with “public execution” after far-right conspiracy theorists latched onto the legislation, which closes a loophole in California’s sexual offence laws.

Under existing state law it is a crime to have sex with someone under the age of 18, but judges have a discretionary power to keep teenagers off the sex offenders’ register for having sex with someone of a similar age, such as a 17-year-old and an 18-year-old.

However, the powers only apply to “penile-vaginal intercourse”, which means that LGBT+ teens are liable to be added to the sex offenders’ registry for having consensual sex, where straight teens are not.

Far-right activists had launched baseless attacks on sex offence law

Wiener’s bill to fix the issue by applying the law evenly has led to him being smeared a a “paedophile” by followers of QAnon – the far-reaching but unfounded conspiracy theory that, among other things, claims Donald Trump is at war with an elite, international ring of Satan-worshipping child sex traffickers.

California Governor Gavin Newsom signed the bill on Friday
California Governor Gavin Newsom signed the bill on Friday (Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

The attacks stemming from the conspiracist far-right were also elevated by leading Republicans, with Senator Ted Cruz, Donald Trump Jr and shock jock Rush Limbaugh all perpetuating falsehoods relating to the law.

Cruz claimed: “Priorities. Today’s CA Dems believe we need more adults having sex with children, and when they do, they shouldn’t register as sex offenders.”

Meanwhile, Trump Jr raged: “Why are Joe Biden Democrats working in California to pander to the wishes of pedophiles and child rapists? New California bill would lower penalties for adults who have sexual relations with a minor”.

Departing from both the truth and any plane of reality where truth exists as an objective construct, Rush Limbaugh opted to claim to his listeners: “Paedophilia is now legal in California. Now a 21 year old can have sex with an 11 year old, and not be listed on the sex registry as a sex offender.”

Fact-checkers have been working overtime to point out that nearly all of the viral claims spreading about the law are false – though social media giants Twitter and Facebook have done little to counter the spread of the falsehoods.

LGBT+ activists celebrate California governor’s decision to ignore hateful ‘misinformation campaign’

Celebrating the decision to sign it, Senator Scott Wiener said in a statement: “It’s appalling that in 2020, California continues to discriminate against LGBTQ people, by mandating that LGBTQ young people be placed on the sex offender registry in situations where straight people aren’t required to be placed on the registry.

“SB 145 simply ends that discrimination by treating LGBTQ young people the exact same way that straight young people have been treated since 1944.

“I am so grateful that Governor Newsom — one of the LGBTQ community’s strongest allies ever — once again has shown that he gets it and that he’s willing to support our community even when it’s hard.

“And the politics here are hard, with the massive Trump/QAnon/MAGA misinformation campaign against the legislation. The facts are clear: SB 145 simply ends anti-LGBTQ discrimination. Today, California took yet another step toward an equitable society.”

Democratic state senator Scott Wiener
Democratic state senator Scott Wiener

Equality California’s executive director Rick Chavez Zbur said: “We are incredibly grateful to Governor Newsom for his unyielding commitment to LGBTQ+ civil rights and social justice.

“Dr King said, ‘The time is always right to do what is right.’ Signing SB 145 was the right thing to do.

“It was the right thing to do for LGBTQ+ young people, it was the right thing to do to keep our communities safe and it was the right thing to do for California.

“If we want a California for all, then we need a justice system that treats all Californians fairly and equally — regardless of who they are, what they look like or whom they love. That goal is at the core of SB 145.

“Thanks to Governor Newsom and Senator Wiener, California is one step closer to living up to our shared values of fairness, equality and justice for all.”

8 Sex Toys Perfect for Temperature Play

8 Sex Toys Perfect for Temperature Play

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A prince(ss) among lubes, Uberlube is reliable, silky, long-lasting, and perfect in almost every way: the fact that it’s silicone-based means it can’t be used in direct contact with silicone toys or prosthetics. But hark, a veritable midsummer night’s dream: all the toys recommended here for temp play are borosilicate or stainless steel (minus the Scarlet Couture balls below), and an absolute dream to use with Uberlube; you’re free and clear to slip ‘n slide the night away. While you’re at the freezer, pop the bottle of lube in there for a few minutes, too, for a delightfully shivery sensation later. And if you wake the next morning with some record-breaking high-humidity sex hair, our NSFW consultant Carolyn loves to remind folks that Uberlube makes a great makeshift hair product for smoothing out flyaways.

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One could argue that there is no more perfect plug, full stop, than this nJoy; certainly our reviewer felt this way, and said that the Pure Plug made them sound like “one of those people just discovering their clits for the first time.” If the smooth, sensual weight of stainless steel already does it for you, you’ll probably also love being thrilled & chilled by adding some temperature play to the mix.

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Trans sex worker murdered by client

Vanessa Solórzano. (Twitter)

Vanessa Solórzano. (Twitter)

Vanessa Solórzano, a 20-year-old trans sex worker, was stabbed to death by a taxi driver in northwest Argentina Tuesday morning (August 11) all because he didn’t want to pay.

Close friends described Solórzano as a fiercely loyal person who dreamed of becoming a makeup artist. She had began sex work to help her family pay the bills, but had on one occasion been “kidnapped and locked up for days” and brutally beaten.

“So she wanted to dedicate herself to something else,” the friend, who wished to remain anonymous, said.

Her body was found in San Miguel de Tucumán according to local media.

She has been solicited by a taxi driver, Daniel Sanchéz in the early hours of the morning – around 4.30am – but he later refused to pay her.

A scuffle ensued, and he stabbed her in the back on his car at around 6:30am while parked along Avenida Alem and Canal Sur.

Footage from surveillance cameras on nearby storefronts showed Sanchéz drive away from the crime scene and wash his hands – drenched in blood – before a colleague arrived.

The two then stole Solórzano’s mobile phone and the money on her person.

Initial witness reports appeared to imply that Solórzano robbed Sanchéz, leading to regional news outlets angling that the murder was a form of retaliation.

While investigators have since disproven this and arrested Sanchéz and apprehended his vehicle, loved ones of the victim fear the damage has already been done.

A close friend of Solórzano stressed to La Izquierda Diario that Solórzano “would never have stolen from anyone”. She explained how Solórzano “liked artistic makeup, especially in the drag queen art world”.

“She was very protective,” she said, “she always contained us and defended us when they wanted to do something to us.”

LGBT+ rights in Argentina.

Liberal lawmakers in Argentina have long waged a bitter feud with the Roman Catholic Church over LGBT+ rights.

The Argentine Congress is illuminated in the rainbow colours to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the legalization of same-sex marriage in the country.( JUAN MABROMATA/AFP via Getty Images)
The Argentine Congress is illuminated in the rainbow colours to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the legalization of same-sex marriage in the country.( JUAN MABROMATA/AFP via Getty Images)

Church leaders attempted to derail a bill to legalise marriage equality in 2010 by organising large scale protests, where religious opponents barricaded the streets.

But more than a decade on, Argentina’s LGBT+ rights have emerged as some of the most robust in South America.

The shift is illustrated by bisexual son of Alberto Fernández, the president of Argentina, who is a big name in the country’s drag scene and even promoted his father’s candidacy across an array of queer clubs.

NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Having Masked Sex

NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Having Masked Sex

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart

La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 281

Pink & White Productions founder and Crash Pad Series director Shine Houston is rewriting the rules of great queer porn. Here’s how she got started:

“By acting on her desire to see queer, trans and gender-nonconforming performers of color in porn, Houston tapped into a hugely underserved audience looking to see their own sex lives and fantasies reflected back to them. All the while, their bodies were treated with care, respect and even reverence, which again, left a powerful impression. In an impassioned post, blogger Black Thighs writes, ‘[Houston’s] work is important simply because it speaks to desire — the desires of Black womxn — and unclenches desire from pain and from shame, as our desire has always been conditioned.’”

Blair and Megan Reeves

Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279

At Zora, Adrienne Maree Brown discussed emergent strategy, pleasure activism, what Black liberation looks like for Black women and more:

“Emergent strategy and pleasure activism really go together. Folks see all the ways that we normally experience and find pleasure and connection are not happening because of the pandemic. We are also being called into action, both online and in the streets. Being able to tune in and take action together is actually giving us a deep sense of connection, of being a part of something larger than ourselves. When you see people standing in their dignity it feels like a good touch, right? I want to keep feeling that. That feels and looks irresistible.”

Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova

Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova in Crash Pad Series episode 186

Here’s how to be a better top.

Conflict is (still) not abuse.

At Mel, Penny, a Toronto-based escort and lawyer, writes about staying safe as a sex worker in the pandemic, noting, “masked sex is a lot less awkward than you might think.”

At the Cut, Raven Leilani, author of Luster, discussed the best sex she ever read.

It’s time to pour one out for “can I buy you a drink?.”

Oh Joy Sex Toy reviewed the Ranger X, a dildo with three layers of silicone (!), calling it “easily the closest to a real life ‘feel’ I’ve ever come across for a dildo.”

Is this the new dating timeline?

If you have the means, privacy and opportunity to sunbathe naked at your own home, I sincerely encourage wearing sunscreen. Co-signed, a full-body sunburn from 2016 that I will never forget.

What will happen to our online relationships and worlds when we go back to in-person interactions?

Here’s how to give your partner a massage.

NSFW ASMR is hot shit.

At Salty, Kimberley Spill wrote about how cannabis allowed her to sit with sexual trauma and learn how to make time for her body.

FKA twigs is supporting (UK) sex workers during the pandemic and you can, too.

Dylan Ryan and T.Pfister

Dylan Ryan and T.Pfister in Crash Pad Series episode 306

At Salty, Mia Schachter wrote about how being an intimacy coordinator for film and TV shows made it easier to embrace having boundaries in bed:

“[Intimacy Coordinators are] much like stunt coordinators: we’re there to make the scenes look real and stay safe, but our domain is emotional safety within sex and nude scenes. We practice many forms of consent on set so we can ensure that it’s ongoing. In order to assist others in finding their boundaries, I had to get much more in touch with my own. At the same time, I was learning to listen to my gut and what my body needed. Through my healing, my body reawakened and I had this job that meant something. I had less to prove than ever. I didn’t need to convince anyone that I was good at communication, intimacy, or sex. As I entered back into the dating world, I anticipated feeling empowered to say ‘no,’ or ‘slow down,’ or ‘I’m not comfortable with that yet.’

I was right: this deeper knowledge of myself helps me say when I’m not ready in situations where I might have pushed through nerves at other times in my life. And if anyone tries to convince me that I don’t know myself in these circumstances, they can go fuck themselves because I’m certainly not going to.”

This weekend, meet the world’s youngest sex therapist / Queerty

This weekend, meet the world’s youngest sex therapist / Queerty

Sex Education

Welcome to the Weekend Binge. Every Friday, we’ll suggest a binge-able title designed to keep you from getting too stir crazy. Check back throughout the weekend for even more gloriously queer entertainment.

The Uproarious: Sex Education

Asa Butterfield and the ever-awesome Gillian Anderson lead this Netflix comedy about the son of a famous sex therapist…who sort of becomes the default sex therapist for his private high school. Butterfield plays Otis, said teen, as a man so overwhelmed by sex he doesn’t really stop to explore his own sexuality. That becomes more and more difficult as he begins to feel an attraction to Ola (Patricia Allison), a beautiful young woman in his class.

Sex Education makes fun of high school sex comedies with its own frankness, as well as its constant satire of the public’s sexual ignorance. (Season 2 sees an outbreak of “airborne chlamydia,” sending parents into a panic). The show also benefits from a storyline involving Otis’ best friend Eric (Ncuti Gatwa), a gay Nigerian immigrant struggling to reconcile his queerness with his family and culture. Neurotic and sexually frank as its main character, Sex Education plays like an anathema to the work of John Hughes…or possibly the show he was never bold enough to make.

Streams on Netflix.

10 Things To Know About Sex With An Introvert – KitschMix

10 Things To Know About Sex With An Introvert –

So, you heard that introverts were secretly the best girlfriends, and you successfully wooed one. Now what? Dating an introvert can seem like a daunting task, especially if you don’t fully understand what introversion means. Thankfully, though, we’ve outlined this handy guide of the top ten things you need to know about sex with an introvert. For best results, read through this guide before having sex with her for the first time – she’ll definitely appreciate it!

Sex is more exhausting for us.

Sex is an inherently exhausting activity already, but introverts have a particularly hard time recuperating afterward. This is because is physically and mentally draining, and if she feels even the slightest bit pressured into it, it’s going to be emotionally draining, too. Give her time, and she’ll warm up – it’s not a race to the finish.

It’s hard to talk about what we really want.

Many introverts have a hard time expressing what’s on their mind – even if their happiness depends on it. It’s not because we don’t like people, or because we’re too sensitive about what other people think of us. It’s because small talk feels like a barrier placed between people, and it’s super awkward to start a conversation with sex as its primary focus. Still, if we tell you we want or enjoy something, don’t take it lightly – we’ve thought it through before saying it out loud.

Intimacy comes long before we do.

Where extroverts tend to thrive on physical closeness first, introverts prefer to get to know someone deeply before we open ourselves up to them. This means that we take a little longer to get close to, but once we do let you in, you better believe we’re excited about it. We need foreplay every time to help us get comfortable, and it’s always a good idea to ask permission before pressing forward.

Observation is essential.

Introverts are naturally observant of the world around us – we’d prefer to sit on the sidelines watching others have fun than actually participate. It’s not because we’re boring, it’s because we take note of all the details. We’re responsive to our partner’s needs, and we expect a partner who can be responsive to ours, too. This attention to detail makes us excellent lovers, but if you aren’t equally perceptive, your introvert lover might get bored.

Distractions happen sometimes.

While no one is completely prone to distraction, it means something totally different to an introvert. Extroverts tend to be more easily distracted in environments that lead them bored and unstimulated, while introverts are more likely to wander off if there’s too much going on. Rest assured that, just because her mind isn’t totally present when you’re being intimate together, that doesn’t mean she’s not enjoying herself – it means she’s enjoying herself so much that her mind can’t focus on any one thing.

Casual sex can be super awkward.

While most of the introverts I personally know have tried casual sex a time or two before, it usually isn’t “for” us. We’d prefer to form a deep emotional bond with someone, baring our soul before our body – and even that, slowly. We’d rather keep a few people extra close to us than have hordes at arms’ length, so we don’t like to spend a lot of time or energy on people we don’t expect to speak to again.

It’s hard for us to get things started.

Introverts are more likely to be satisfied with less sex than their extrovert partner, which means we’re probably not going to bring it up when we want it. Even when we do want it and it hasn’t been initiated yet, we may be reserved because we’re still thinking things over. Having a partner who can take charge of the situation is wonderful, and a partner who knows how to properly use teasing as a sexual tool is sure to please for years to come.

Our fortress of solitude is not for sex… Usually.

Everyone needs their own space from time to time, but an introvert’s need for alone time is much higher than an extrovert’s. We prefer to have our own safe place to retreat to, somewhere quiet where we can recharge after stressful situations. Since sex is a pretty tiring event, we probably won’t want to stay long after – we need to get back to our comfort zone to rest up. If we bring you into our safe place, it’s important that you respect what it means to us – sharing our private spaces is very difficult for us.

We probably won’t be turned on after a party.

While extroverts may find the excitement of social situations arousing, introverts don’t get the same rush. The exact feelings may be different from one introvert to the next, but most of us would feel more comfortable if we had time to recharge in between. Many introverts prefer morning sex as our social batteries have had time to recharge – we don’t feel sexy when we’re drained from the day’s interactions.

Sitting silently afterwards is 100% not weird.

As much as we value our alone time, introverts also enjoy spending quiet time with the people we need in our lives. Sometimes that means cuddling, once we feel comfortable sharing our space with you, but mostly it just means stolen moments of silence in between activities. We don’t need to fill the air with empty words – we’re comfortable just being near you, and that really is special.