Tag: Single

Single gay man who dreamed of being a dad adopts girl left at hospital

adopt

Pablo Fracchia never thought it would be possible for him to adopt (Instagram/@pablitofracchia)

A single gay man who always wanted to be a father has found the family of his dreams after adopting a baby girl who’d been left at the hospital.

Growing up in deeply conservative Argentina in the 1990s, Pablo Fracchia never thought fatherhood was an option for him.

As a teenager he thought there were only two ways his story could pan out: stay in the closet, or give up his dream of being a dad.

“I remember seeing the archbishop on the national public TV channel saying that every gay man should go and live on an island and stay away from good working people,” he told Bored Panda.

“And also the effects from the dictatorship (when it came to police raids on LGBT+ places) were a regular thing even after democracy was reestablished. So there is an absolute distance between my childhood and the current situation.”

But things changed: Pablo grew up to become an activist for the LGBTQ+ Federation of Argentina, and over time he gradually watched his country evolve around him.

When Argentina became one of the first Latin American countries to legalise same-sex marriage in 2010, he had a flash of hope – his dream of becoming a dad could actually come true.

Pablo signed up to adopt a child in 2017, and after two long years of waiting he got a phone call from a family judge.

That was the first time he heard about Mia, a little girl a year and ten months old, living in a hospital due to a severe gastrointestinal condition.

Mia needed serious medical attention and her biological family was unable to provide it, so she was sent to an institution for children with health issues.

Pablo immediately put himself forward. When the three other parents who were in the running to adopt Mia were ruled out, he got the all-important call – he was able to meet his daughter for the first time the next day.

They’ve now been together for over a year and Pablo dotes on his little daughter. “If I have to use two words to describe Mia, it would be ‘resilience’ and ‘power’,” he said.

“This girl survived in every single possible way as she had a rough start in her health, with a lot of challenges and she fought and faced them alone at only months of age. And now she is a 100 per cent healthy kid like everyone else.”

As an LGBT+ activist, Pablo recognises that he was only able to adopt as a single gay man due to collective campaigning powers. He now encourages other activists to follow in his footsteps and continue breaking down barriers.

“Meet others like you. Organise. Fight for your dream,” he said.

“The status quo can only be broken when we organise with people struggling with similar issues and start showing the injustices we live with, to the public eye. It’s still illegal to be gay in almost 70 countries. Some of them even include the death penalty. So hang in there and organise.”

 

Hungary Bans Same-Sex Couples and Most Single People from Adopting

Hungary Bans Same-Sex Couples and Most Single People from Adopting

In the latest of a series of anti-LGBTQ moves, Hungary’s parliament has changed its constitution to ban same-sex couples and most single people from adopting children.

Hungarian Parliament Building - Budapest

Hungarian Parliament Building – Budapest. Photo credit: Jorge Franganillo. Used under CC BY 2.0

The change on Tuesday, championed by Prime Minister Viktor Orban and his right-wing Fidesz party, will allow adoption only by married couples and single people “granted special permission by the government,” reports the Washington Post. Same-sex couples cannot marry in Hungary, although they may get civil unions. Same-sex couples had previously been able to adopt by having only one partner apply to be the legal parent, “but the new law puts an end to this practice,” the Post says.

Justice Minister Judit Varga posted part of the text of the new legislation on her Facebook page:

Hungary protects the institution of marriage as a cohabitation between a man and a woman, based on voluntary decision, and the family as the basis for the survival of the nation. The basis of the family relationship is the marriage and the parent-child relationship. The mother is a woman, the father is a man.

The Háttér Society, the largest and oldest non-governmental LGBTQI organization in Hungary, tweeted that this legislation, however, will “stigmatize same-sex couples raising children and transgender people, make LGBTQI school education programs impossible and complicate single-parent adoption.” They add, in a series of tweets:

These provisions are very problematic on their own, as they go against international human rights norms and especially the rights of children. LGBTQI children exist, forcing them to live according to conservative ideals might make them invisible, but will not make them disappear.

Restricting the number of potential adoptive parents means that more children will remain in state care or be adopted abroad where they can’t maintain their language or cultural identity. There are already hundreds of children being adopted outside of Hungary.

Adopting such highly problematic laws at the peak of the COVID pandemic is even more appaling [sic]: it is part of a political strategy to divert attention away from the government’s inability to control the health and economic crisis.

The adoption legislation is not the only anti-LGBTQ move made by Orban’s government, however. In May, it banned transgender people from changing their gender identity on identification documents. These are shameful moves by the government. I hope that both national and international pressure comes to bear to reverse these harmful and short-sighted policies.

Also coincidentally released on Tuesday was the “State-Sponsored Homophobia 2020: Global Legislation Overview Update ” from the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association, a worldwide federation of more than 1,600 organizations from over 150 countries and territories. Among other findings, it notes that “69 UN member States still criminalise consensual same-sex sexual acts between adults,” with six member States prescribing the death penalty.

On the positive side, 11 UN member States have constitutional provisions that specify sexual orientation in their anti-discrimination protections; 57 offer broad protections against discrimination based on sexual orientation; 81 protect against workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation; 48 impose enhanced criminal penalties for offences motivated by hate towards the victim’s sexual orientation; and 4 have nationwide bans against “conversion therapies.” Twenty-eight recognize marriage for same-sex couples (plus one non-UN jurisdiction, Taiwan); 34 provide for some partnership recognition; and 28 have joint adoption laws, with 32 allowing for same-sex second parent adoption. (Yet the data alone can be deceiving: “In Ecuador, constitutional protection co-exists with a constitutional ban on adoption of children by same-sex couples,” the report notes.) This report shows the progress that has been made over the past decades—but also, as this latest move from Hungary emphasizes, how far we have yet to go. Onward….