Tag: Sunday

Come Vibe with Me: Simple Sunday Goodbyes

Come Vibe with Me: Simple Sunday Goodbyes

Image shows black woman in bed with tattoos on her arm with 3 different textured blankets surrounding her.

I feel like I’ll always be on a constant search on how to be more intimate in my writing.

It’s not that I don’t know how to be, it’s just that I am always floating between wondering what’s too much to share and what’s not enough. I needed a space where I could safely navigate that and as a friend of Dorothy’s I’ll just say it — there’s no place like home. Autostraddle was the absolute perfect place to explore it.

Testing out levels of intimacy I was comfortable with while also surrounding it by other things that were important to me in the media landscape: Sharing work from other Black and brown writers, visual mediums that have queer folks of color at its core, sharing job opportunities and more that help my communities and then rounding it all out with the perfect soundtrack.

I’ve learned a lot writing these letters to you every week. Most importantly, I’ve learned that I don’t have to give up my natural private nature for the sake of proving that I can be intimate in my writing .

I’m a believer in ending things when you feel like they either no longer serve you or when you know that feeling is creeping up. I’m so thankful that every week you came here to get a bit of me and that you came into my world and chilled with me every Sunday. I’m not going anywhere, you’ll still find me on the site weekly bringing you joy through the queer Black babes of TikTok, chatting with Dani about a film or album, and of course, writing about all things dating and sex — but this little corner is coming to a close.

Thanks for vibing with me and as always,

Sweet Sunday babes.

Y’all Come Look at This

I’ve managed to meet a solid crew of great folks on Clubhouse — but the app is still rife with phobias of all sort. This piece on it’s racial bias’s sums it up beautifully.

I will never not read pieces on Black women and our hair, so this one on the evolution of natural hair industry was a natural choice to sit back and take in.

A gorgeous read on how Britain’s queer South Asian community created connection and found solace with each other inside the comfort of their own homes in the ’80s and 90’s.

My love for Megan Thee Stallion and Mean Girls decided to come together and make me happy — I have watched the video about 1000 times and I appreciate every text I got about it when it came out!

I love this list celebrating some of televisions Black fictional babes — also I am in love with Wandavision and Teyonah Parris so I am using this as an opportunity to propose marriage, please send me your ring size.

Image shows dark teal background with the text "Ungodly Hour" written in silver chrome colored font.

Ungodly Hour

“I don’t have the time, to teach you how to love all over again.”

Chloe x Halle’s latest album Ungodly Hour has been on heavy rotation in my spot since it came out, and the latest video from the album has been released.

Ungodly Hour is packed full of afro-futuristic visuals, a wardrobe that I want to steal, and pretty much every scene is the perfect still.

I’m genuinely hoping that they decide to make a video for every track on the album but for now just bask in the beauty and talent of these two lovely babes.

Watch the entire video here

The point of this space was to remind people of the importance of community. I miss going into coffee shops and looking through the bulletin board of events that were coming up, job opportunities, and chances to volunteer. I wanted to mimic that feeling in this space and remind folks that there can be some virtual semblance of it. Things like having someone to talk to, sharing warmth and resources are all small but mighty moving parts in taking care of our own. I hope you look back to all the bulletin boards I have shared over the months and continue to keep mutual aid and community connection a big part of your life.

I just want you to look at me like this forever.

Saying see ya later with the songs that have been in heavy rotation for me this past month — sound up sweeties.

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Come Vibe With Me: Sunday Cozy Sunday

Come Vibe With Me: Sunday Cozy Sunday

Welcome to Come Vibe With Me, my new weekly Sunday column here on Autostraddle.

Sundays are my favorite day of the week, the afternoons in particular. I wake up, take my time making the sexiest homemade coffee drink I’ve had all week, put on my lofi hip-hop beats, cozy up on the couch, and start reading all the articles I’ve saved in my Pocket app through the week.

I had to start my Sunday with The Sanderson Sisters

It’s the start to me resetting after what has probably been a long week. Putting myself first and kicking back. I do the things that make me happy, which is something more and more black people have been learning and encouraged to do in recent months, and I am absolutely here for it. As my Sunday goes on, I tend to my plants, watch shows or films, hop on a zoom date — I do what I want to curate the cozy vibe my Sundays have come to be.

If you aren’t new to me here on Autostraddle, you know that community, true self-care, and vibes are quite important to me. My identity allows me to be part of multiple communities at once and although sometimes that can be draining, most days it’s a beautiful fulfilling experience. I want to use this space to share with you things from the multiple facets of who I am that I’ve enjoyed throughout the week.

You’ll find articles that I connected with, be introduced to movies & television that I couldn’t stop watching, find ways to do your part to help different communities and so much more — all while vibing out to a weekly playlist curated by me to play during your Sundays.

I hope you find joy in this piece of me that I wanted to share with you.

It’s simple, it’s Shelli and it’s a Vibe.

Love ya bunches honeys,

Shelli Nicole

Y’all Come Look at This

Peppermint is my pastel princess in her latest music video “Best Sex” — This video makes me miss getting eaten out on kitchen countertops more than I already did

Rachel Charlene Lewis & Evette Dionne chat about their disappointment with the new Netflix series Emily In Paris

Lex Amor had her Colors show this week and every bit of it was amazing — this performance of her song Odogwu is Sunday perfection

Fahima Hersi on her black identity and racism in the muslim community during the time of revolution

Lovecraft Country creator Misha Green took accountability for the hurtful storyline of the show’s Two-Spirit Indigenous character, Yahima

Jamila Woods talks creativity, blackness, femininity, and more while modeling the latest Perfect Number collection. Photos shot by the wonderfully dope Mercedes Zapata

The hairstyles of 8 Black Final Girls — Angela Bassett and her bangs deserve literally everything good in the world

Remember COVID is still a very big thing and it’s also flu season, Big Freedia premiered Rona Rona this week to remind you to cancel your plans, stay at home, and chill in the fucking house.

The poster of Vampires vs. The Bronx on Netflix, in which four Black and Latinx Teens are hand drawn holding roses and stakes while they fight vampires.

Vampires VS. The Bronx

It’s Halloween season and while I will be revisiting my favorite spooky movies non-stop I am excited to get some new ones too. Vampires Vs. The Bronx is the story of a few teens who are minding their own business — while trying to save their neighborhood from gentrification, drug dealers, and vampires.

I’ve already watched it a few times and it’s such a cute movie! It’s gonna give you a few jump scares, will def make you laugh and it’s got a hella witty plot that unfolds and wraps up decently. The cast is mostly Latinx and Black, and I love that because having more POC folks in the horror genre is needed and wanted.

There are def vampires in your neighborhood but the question is, are you on of them?

Watch the trailer here!

This week on the bulletin board we have some sweet platonic love speed friending, A live chat about being queer, Black, and Caribbean from some of our British homies, an opportunity to support Black Trans Power in Chicago, the return of QUEEN! live from Chicago and much more! If you have any QTBIPOC Events, Mutual Aids, Fellowships and more that you want to share with me send me a message over on Instagram.

Click images to enlarge.

This playlist came to me after I imagined chilling on a beautiful woman’s couch. My fingers in her hair while she comfortably lays between my legs, a throw gently draped over us, and the music serving as our soundtrack. Play this and kick back — think about that kind of sweetness on a Sunday morning.

Sunday Funday Is Swooning Over Sue Bird With Megan Rapinoe

Sunday Funday Is Swooning Over Sue Bird With Megan Rapinoe

Happy Sunday, friends! Last Sunday was Ari’s last roundup for you, and they left you with so many good wishes and so much love! I’m here and queer to fill in until we have a new columnist to go steady with you. It’s a cool 61 degrees here in New York City; all my cats are in all the windows; and I’m going to make some buttermilk biscuits as soon as I publish this Funday! If, like me, you’re trying not to check the news incessantly because it’s terrible for your mental health, but also it’s hard not to check the news incessantly because everything is so forkin’ bananas, I hope you’ll remember to stay hydrated, at least, and that these good gay-ish links will keep you distracted for a little while.

+ It’s time for the WNBA finals, you gays! Seattle leads the Aces 1-0. Game two is today at 3:00pm. You’ve really gotta read this thing Megan Rapinoe wrote about Sue Bird.

+ How a Black lesbian took down a racist, pandemic-partying fraternity in the deep south.

+ Trans recognition is improving despite right-wing backlash around the world.

+ The elusive Mariah Carey’s new memoir.

+ Related!

+ Japan Airlines drops “ladies and gentlemen” for gender-neutral greetings.

+ The unsung heroes of suffrage and Civil Rights movement.

+ Natalie has published her comprehensive voter’s guide! Remember: making a plan to vote on election day is like shopping for Christmas on December 24th. Today’s the last day to register to vote in Alaska and South Carolina, and Monday’s the last day for Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Kentucky, Mississippi, Ohio, Tennessee and Texas!

+ TikTok’s queer “it girls” are creating new LGBTQ+ safe spaces.

+ Laura Jane Grace’s surprise new album is “everything quarantine music should be.” 

+ Doris Burke on life inside the NBA bubble.

+ Canada revives efforts to ban conversion therapy nationwide.

+ You’ve probably heard by now, queer people are way more likely to suffer from migraines. One of my all-time favorite YouTubers, queer disability activist and all around charmer, Jessica Kellgren-Fozard, has made you a video of migraine cures NOT to try.

Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior writer who lives in New York City with her partner, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She’s a member of the Television Critics Association, the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Heather has written 1024 articles for us.

Sunday Funday is Celebrating Weddings, Babies, and Nancy Meyers

Sunday Funday is Celebrating Weddings, Babies, and Nancy Meyers

Hello friends and happy Sunday! We’re here once again, back at it to talk about the good things in this world, like babies being born and NEW NANCY MEYERS SPECIALS, and so much more. I’m not gonna ruin it for you, let’s get right on into it.

+ Gorgeous fat femme Chaya Milchtein and her masc partner Morgan got married in the most perfect COVID compliant wedding.

View this post on Instagram

I was able to peacefully sob my way through my vows because of one incredible plus size woman, @robinechalmers . She’s a day of cordinator and truely was my right hand woman. Robin made sure we had enough water, my veil was steamed, lunch was pucked up, the alter was set up, our glass and wine was purchased and so so many other things. It would have been a wildly hectic day without her. Go follow her! She’s a recently married plus size beauty. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I wrote my own vows and then read them to my queen. Here’s what I said: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Morgan, when I met you I didn’t think I’d ever want to marry, because somehow marrying meant I’d lose a piece of myself. With you, that’s not been further than the truth. You’ve breathed a passion into me that I didn’t know could exist. A desire to be content, happy, and fulfilled. I won’t hesitate to proudly call you my love, my wife. Today is our ultimate compromise. A wedding with no one, yet with everyone present. I promise to spend my life compromising with you, finding creative ways to mesh our two unique identities to accomplish things that will make us both happy.  Sometimes I can be a bit much, but you mellow me out. Either way, I promise to make space for you to have your alone time, to not do anything for a bit, and just let you focus on you. And of course, to kick you out of the house to ride your tricycle.  Part of growing with each other has meant learning to travel and explore, vacation, and adventure. I promise you that I’ll always make time to travel with you, planning adventures as often as we can afford them, because life is short, and I want to see the world with you before we leave it. And I’ll try to stay off my phone too.. Above all, I promise to honor and respect you, hold your hand when things get rough, and really listen to you when you speak. Honor and love work side by side, and I promise to keep working every day to earn and keep each of those.  ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 📷 @naturalnerd_designs Hair: @jasmine_shearcanvas 💄@j_jtheemua 👑 + Veil @laine_london 💍 @zalesjewelers 👗👗 @davidsbridal #2wives #queerentinebrides #queers #Marriedlife #gaywedding #interracialcouple

A post shared by Chaya Milchtein (@mechanicshopfemme) on

What’s that about bridal wear being gender neutral? We love to see it!

+ Good news! Your burnt pans are not gone for good! You can fix this!!!!!

+ Schitt’s Creek fans are studying Indigenous history together, you should join!

+ Sarah Paulson has the greatest response for the next time someone asks you about your May/December relationship.

+ TBH, spending the Jewish New Year watching Nora Ephron and eating smoked fish doesn’t sound half bad.

+ How RBG is living on in popular culture, featuring our fave Kate McKinnon.

+ The Connecticut LGBTQ Film Festival runs October 2 to 10 both online and at a drive-in theatre in Manchester! Cute date night idea!!!!

+ Rocky Horror Picture Show and embracing queer expression

+ Catch your first glimpse of The Ammonite at the 32nd Annual New York LGBTQ Film Festival!

+ Wow okay so Father of the Bride Part 3-ish is such a JOY!!!!

+ 50 photos of birds to bring you joy

+ Shanda Leer, a queer drag performer, connects to queer fans through… sports?

+ Temídayo Amay, a nonbinary actor recently won a Helen Hayes for Outstanding Supporting Performer in a Play

+ Batman and Robin is the definition of Camp.

This is what makes Batman and Robin so interesting. It seems to exist largely as a rejection of that vanilla and bland sexuality in Batman Forever. If Batman Forever felt like an uncomfortable embrace of the homophobic paranoia of Seduction of the Innocent, then Batman and Robin plays like a firm rejection of the philosophy of Frederic Wertham. There is something quite compelling in all of this, and Batman and Robin is fascinating to revisit in that context.

+ Queer oral histories are connecting rural queers across the US

+ The sweetest Op-Doc from the NYT about Club Quarantine, the hottest queer club on Zoom.

+ Charlie Martin is thought to be the first transgender racer to compete in 24 Hours of Nürburgring

+ Amanda Nunes has a daughter!

Editor’s Note 9/27/20: An earlier version of this column referred to Chaya Milchtein and Morgan as femme partners.  That reference has since been updated. We apologize for the error.

And that’s all folks. For this week’s good news, and also for my time at Autostraddle. Today’s Sunday Funday is my last post as a writer for Autostraddle dot com, a place I have grown so much at and have great love for. I will miss writing these for you each week, I will miss answering your questions in the A+ Inbox, I’ll even miss moderating your comments. But everything, literally everything comes to an end, and this is the end of my time. I’m going to remember it fondly. I’m leaving with a full heart, and eyes excited about what the future brings for me.

So, like I tell you every week: I love you so much. Do something for yourself this week: read a book you’ve been meaning to read, take a long lay on your couch, get a weighted blanket. Snuggle your pets, snuggle your person(s), wear a danged mask, and believe that everything, bad things and good things, will have an end. And that endings are not bad, they’re just endings. Okay, I really do love you, mean it, bye.❤️🌈✨


Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 322 articles for us.

Sunday Funday Is Making a High Holidays Cheese Plate with Audre Lorde!

Sunday Funday Is Making a High Holidays Cheese Plate with

Hello! Happy Sunday! L’shana tova?! I don’t know y’all, “a sweet new year” kind of feels like a threat? But yes, it’s the Jewish New Year, there’s a chill in the air, and perhaps we are learning a lesson in holding joy and pain together.

Well friends, thanks but I hate it. I just want VIBES, you know? Like, this summer I wanted braids, and good music and kombuchas with friends while laying under a shady tree, and this autumn I want flat twists, Bon Iver, warm apple juice, and dinner parties! BUT NOOOOOO, we have to grapple with our mortality and think about who we want to be and dig deep into methods of care… WHERE ARE THE VIBES??? Anyway. This is “Sunday Funday” not “Sunday when Ari lets out all of their anxieties about the state of the world Day.” So, let’s get to something fun, shall we?

+ Octavia Butler’s books are becoming pandemic reading for a lot of us, and it makes sense! (We even read Parable of the Sower together earlier this year, right here on Autostraddle!)

+ Autumnal clothing being sewed!! Cute!!!!

+ Mabel Ping-Hua Lee is a feminist you should know.

Lee is believed to have been born around 1895 in Guangzhou, China. She moved to the United States around 1905 to join her father, the Rev. Lee To, a Christian missionary who had been assigned to a church in Chinatown. She lived with her parents there on Bayard Street. The Lees were among the rare Chinese immigrants who were allowed into the United States at the time under federal legislation that had sharply restricted their entry since 1882, when Congress passed the Exclusion Act, banning Chinese laborers to appease white nativists who had resented an influx of Chinese-immigrant prospectors and railroad workers in the West.

+ Zoe Hsu is casting illustrating Black and Brown folks into traditionally white movies.

Roxane Gay writes on the legacy of Audre Lorde.

+ RBG’s most iconic quotes. May her memory be a blessing to us all.

+ Happy New Year Jewish family!! If you, like me, are all alone, maybe a cheese plate will make you feel better!

+ Why is no one talking about 1930s shoes?!

+ God, remember snack time in middle school???

+ The pope loves your gay kids! 🙏🏾📿

+ Julie and the Phantoms has a super cute queer romance.

Well friends, that’s what we’ve got today. I love you, I love our little happy chats, I’m thankful for all you are and for how hard you’re trying. This week is gonna be good, I know it. Breathe in the cool weather, take a (masked) walk in the breeze, clean your windows, wake up with the sunrise one morning (or every morning if you have a cat who loves to yell). Keep on keeping on.

Did I mention I love you? I do! I really do. Kick ass this week. You’re amazing.


Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 321 articles for us.

Sunday Funday Will Not Be Throwing a Gender Reveal for Miss Major’s Baby!

Sunday Funday Will Not Be Throwing a Gender Reveal for

Happy Sunday friends! This week I watched too much Grey’s Anatomy and fucked up my challah watching Izzie be Izzie. I also made my first ever actual sourdough loaf (she’s perfect), went to my first Selichot service, and stress bought eight fancy candles. Just an average week during a global pandemic. I made apple sauce, raspberry jam, and strawberry jam because for two perfect days, it was 68º in Austin, TX. In September! I’m starting to think the universe is not conspiring against me!

I’m gonna ride this high and focus on good news!

+ Are you still keeping up your sourdough starter? Gail (my starter) is doing well, and I hate throwing away her daughters, so here’s a recipe for strawberry and pecan scones to use up your sourdough daughters.

+ These queer women are making space for themselves in ballet.

+ Lucy Worsley is a straight white lady in the UK who stays in her lane and makes really cute documentaries about historic things. Fall in love with her newest one while you’re pretending time still matters.

+ Wynne Nowland came out as trans and it “stirred surprise, support and new challenges at the company she runs”

+ 19 Black families bought almost 100 acres of land in Georgia to create a safe space for Black families.

+ Miss Major and Beck are having a baby, and they will not be revealing the baby’s sex! Hooray and Hallelujah indeed!!

+ Sohla El-Waylly cooks three recipes that define her life.

+ San Jose’s Post Street is the city’s first LGBTQ+ district.

+ The Transgender First National Scholarship is the first of its kind for trans students.

+ A snake laid 7 eggs, even though she hasn’t been around a male snake in years. Good for her! Also, isn’t this the plot of Jurassic Park???

+ The film Tahara puts a Black queer Jewish teen at the center of it while she navigates her grief. 

+ Inside Lena Waithe and Rishi Rajani’s Los Angeles office with Architectural Digest

And that, my friends, is all the good news fit to print. I’m off to go pay too much money to have a doctor look at my arm, which I lost 180º of motion in over a month ago. I love the medical industrial complex! Then tonight I’m gonna put on a robe and Auntie it out to the Gladys Knight and Patti Labelle Verzuz battle, then watch a Brandi Carlile concert, and convince my girlfriend to watch Cabaret with me.

This week will be good. I will be happy. I will be provided for. I will take care of my community, and they will take care of me. We got this! Have an amazing week, I love you, I’ll see you soon.


Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 320 articles for us.

Sunday Funday and “Star Trek: Discovery” Knows the Future Isn’t Cis

Sunday Funday and "Star Trek: Discovery" Knows the Future Isn't

Here we are, back at another week of being in our homes. I am so grateful for my home, and the fact that I am able to live out this quarantine in relative safety, but let me tell you, as someone who lives alone/doesn’t drive and therefore knows it’s unsafe to have a pod, I’m so sad and lonely. I cried watching an old recording of my synagogue sing Lecha Dodi this week because like, will we ever gather again like that? Will I ever have a need for a slightly modest dress and heels again? Will I ever gossip with my nail girl again while she roasts me for biting my nails or breaking my acrylics? I don’t know. Joy feels hard to come by. But I have to believe it’s there. I have to, I have to, I have to. Even if it’s just by vicariously living through Niecy Nash’s new marriage. I don’t know y’all, this shit is hard.

Here’s some joy. Come get y’alls juice.

+ Carmen mentioned it in this week’s AAA, but it’s worth mentioning again, that Julianne Moore and Janelle Monáe look amazing in the upcoming film The Glorias

+ I honestly love the NYT’s “Overlooked No More” obituary series? Like almost as much as the weddings section when there’s more than one queer announcement. This week they’re talking about Charlotta Bass, the first Black woman to run as Vice President and prolific journalist.

+ 25 scenes of female empowerment that made people feel feelings.

+ In the 1920s, just as in the 2020s, meaningful change begins and happens at a local level. Edith Ainge helped by using her local knowledge to shape the national conversation on women’s suffrage.

+ Despite nationwide prejudice, trans people in Haiti are finding refuge in The Kay Trans Haiti Center.

+ If you miss concerts, may I suggest Brandi Carlile?

+ This is the most boring good news, but a church in Georgia historically attached to the United Methodist Church (you may remember they made a terrible decision to exclude LGBTQ+ people last year) decided to take the correct step and officially leave the denomination. Any Methodists in Georgia looking for a church that lives out its beliefs, maybe check out Asbury Memorial.

+ Troop Beverly Hills is officially getting a sequel! Every movie with women in uniforms is a part of my root, so I will be watching this.

+ Did we know the musical The Prom about some lesbian teens going to a prom is being made into a movie?? (We did! It was in this week’s Pop Culture Fix!)  Did we know Meryl Streep is in it with a red wig?!

+ AHH ANOTHER SURPRISE LESBIAN WEDDING! Fawzia Mirza wed Andria Wilson and yes, I did cry.

+ Drag queens and trans women in Indianapolis’s queer history. (Content Note: the post uses words historically used to describe trans people which we no longer use)

+ Netflix’s Away offers us Chinese lesbians in space! Kinda!

+ I literally only have CBS All Access for Star Trek: Discovery and we’re now getting TWO trans characters on the show!!! Yes! Good! Anthony Rapp is also thrilled.

+ Mulan is on our collective minds, so here’s some more non-canonical Disney queer films to make you wanna write fanfiction. (Also: Every Disney Princess Ranked In Order Of Lesbianism by… me!)

+ “Female truckers to honor women’s suffrage.” IDK, just say lesbians??? I’m kidding…. sort of.

+ In the vein of offering you some music to bring you queer joy: Katie Pruitt’s Expectations is just straight up gay country.

Sending you love and queer joy. Happy Sunday, shavua tov, go love yourself because the universe wants you to do so. I love you so much, I’m so happy we have this time with one another each week. Be well my friends.

Sunday Funday Is Reading Through 120 Black-Owned Bookstores(!!) … and You Can, Too!

Sunday Funday Is Reading Through 120 Black-Owned Bookstores(!!) ... and

I woke up this morning and said, out loud, “Sunday funday lol.” And that’s how I’m feeling. LOL. Like, what the fuck y’all? What’s going on? Why is everything….. like this?

I did manage to find some good news though. So, let’s share that, relish in the fact that joy can be real even in the midst of pain.

+ Jennifer Lopez made a touching short film introducing her nonbinary nibling. 

+ Black Panther’s impact!!!

+ Here are 120 Black-owned bookstores to buy from as you divest from Am*zon

+ May I offer you a live kitten-cam for your blood pressure, perhaps?

+ Town and Country is… such a magazine! Anyway, Meghan Markle and Gloria Steinem sat down to chat about feminism…

+ Meryl Streep’s mom/pandemic fashion is iconic. Check out that proper mask wearing!!

+ Some morning affirmations from my Spotify to yours ❤️

+ Marsha P. Johnson is getting a statue in memorial of her life and work in her hometown

+ Black Panther babies 🥺

I’m gonna leave you with a poem by Kim Addonizio that I think about very often as of late. Because maybe you too, are the woman crying uncontrollably in the next stall.

If you ever woke in your dress at 4am ever
closed your legs to a man you loved opened
them for one you didn’t moved against
a pillow in the dark stood miserably on a beach
seaweed clinging to your ankles paid
good money for a bad haircut backed away
from a mirror that wanted to kill you bled
into the back seat for lack of a tampon
if you swam across a river under rain sang
using a dildo for a microphone stayed up
to watch the moon eat the sun entire
ripped out the stitches in your heart
because why not if you think nothing &
no one can / listen I love you joy is coming

I love you. Joy is coming.


Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 317 articles for us.

Sunday Funday Is Soaring With the “Wonder Woman 1984” Trailer

Sunday Funday Is Soaring With the "Wonder Woman 1984" Trailer

First and foremost: Happy Birthday to my girlfriend, who is perfect, who I love to pieces, and who can finally pretend that they’re older than me (hahaha, I’m older than you baby!!!). Can’t wait to keep growing with you forever and ever. Ew, is love real?! Ugh. I guess so.

Okay, now. Happy Sunday little bumblebees! This week I hung up most of my art, cried only like three days out of the week, applied for two jobs, and discovered a bunch of new Hebrew music. It was a solid 6/10, and what more can I ask for? As Ari from Grease Bats (god I have a gay name) reminded us yesterday, “the entire world is in a collective depression”, so any moments of happiness are to be celebrated! So, while we celebrate my average week and the birth of my girlfriend, let’s also get into some collective joy!

+ I found this song this week and added it to my country music playlist and uh, you need to hear it if you haven’t.

+ Nigerian lesbian film Ife is going to be available online in order to avoid censors

+ Mikael Owunna’s photo project, “Limitless Africans” looks at LGBTQ+ African immigrants living their lives in over 10 countries. Such as this gorgeous photo entitled “Four Queer African Women in the Snow:”

 Historically, these are spaces that have not been welcoming to black people. They’ve been hostile, violent. There’s a shot of the Black Panthers in the snow by Hiroji Kubota where you see that same idea of black people asserting ourselves in a space of snow, asserting selfhood even as the world tries to tell us that we can’t. We’re going to take it for ourselves, just like we did on this street, in the face of the elements.

+ In the New York Times’ obituary series covering those whom the paper previously ignored, Susan Ware writes about Leonora O’Reilly, who fought for the rights of working class women.

+ Outfest, the LGBTQ+ film festival is virtual this year, and here are 10 films making buzz.

+ Shania pulled out the leopard print bodysuit to remind men that they don’t impress her much in Orville Peck’s new music video.

+ Quinn Whitney Wilson is more than King Princess’ girlfriend, she’s an artist in her own right, and she’s helping Black women to shine through her work.

+ Do people care about Shakespeare anymore? Anyway, he’s “definitely bisexual”, whatever that means for someone who died over a century ago. I’m really glad we called him Shakesqueer in high school. Feeling ahead of the curve.

+ Listen, don’t stan politicians. But it is cool to see that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a towel rack that’s obnoxiously normal.

+ A visual history of the Suffrage movement.

+ If there’s any time to study the work of Octavia Butler it’s now; and the Huntington Library in San Marino, CA will fund a one-year fellowship for someone to do just that!

+ There’s an official Wonder Woman 1984 trailer!!! 

+ Some lesbian penguins have just adopted an egg. Good for them.

+ Beverley Ditsie is a South African lesbian who’s done amazing work for African lesbians throughout the continent. 

+ Brandi Carlile was on the Kelly Clarkson Show and baby when I tell you they sang down?!???? I love her so much.

There was so much good news to choose from this week, and I’m so happy I got to share it with you. I’m gonna celebrate another successful week with some of the sourdough biscuits that I recently made and give my cats some playtime because they are feeling… some type of way about me being around all the time but not playing with them every waking moment. I love you, I’m proud of you, I’m grateful for you (Especially after y’all helped keep the site alive for another year! Thank you!!!). Drink water, take naps, take walks, and remember that love is real. See you soon friends ❤️


Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 316 articles for us.

NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Having Masked Sex

NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Having Masked Sex

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart

La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 281

Pink & White Productions founder and Crash Pad Series director Shine Houston is rewriting the rules of great queer porn. Here’s how she got started:

“By acting on her desire to see queer, trans and gender-nonconforming performers of color in porn, Houston tapped into a hugely underserved audience looking to see their own sex lives and fantasies reflected back to them. All the while, their bodies were treated with care, respect and even reverence, which again, left a powerful impression. In an impassioned post, blogger Black Thighs writes, ‘[Houston’s] work is important simply because it speaks to desire — the desires of Black womxn — and unclenches desire from pain and from shame, as our desire has always been conditioned.’”

Blair and Megan Reeves

Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279

At Zora, Adrienne Maree Brown discussed emergent strategy, pleasure activism, what Black liberation looks like for Black women and more:

“Emergent strategy and pleasure activism really go together. Folks see all the ways that we normally experience and find pleasure and connection are not happening because of the pandemic. We are also being called into action, both online and in the streets. Being able to tune in and take action together is actually giving us a deep sense of connection, of being a part of something larger than ourselves. When you see people standing in their dignity it feels like a good touch, right? I want to keep feeling that. That feels and looks irresistible.”

Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova

Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova in Crash Pad Series episode 186

Here’s how to be a better top.

Conflict is (still) not abuse.

At Mel, Penny, a Toronto-based escort and lawyer, writes about staying safe as a sex worker in the pandemic, noting, “masked sex is a lot less awkward than you might think.”

At the Cut, Raven Leilani, author of Luster, discussed the best sex she ever read.

It’s time to pour one out for “can I buy you a drink?.”

Oh Joy Sex Toy reviewed the Ranger X, a dildo with three layers of silicone (!), calling it “easily the closest to a real life ‘feel’ I’ve ever come across for a dildo.”

Is this the new dating timeline?

If you have the means, privacy and opportunity to sunbathe naked at your own home, I sincerely encourage wearing sunscreen. Co-signed, a full-body sunburn from 2016 that I will never forget.

What will happen to our online relationships and worlds when we go back to in-person interactions?

Here’s how to give your partner a massage.

NSFW ASMR is hot shit.

At Salty, Kimberley Spill wrote about how cannabis allowed her to sit with sexual trauma and learn how to make time for her body.

FKA twigs is supporting (UK) sex workers during the pandemic and you can, too.

Dylan Ryan and T.Pfister

Dylan Ryan and T.Pfister in Crash Pad Series episode 306

At Salty, Mia Schachter wrote about how being an intimacy coordinator for film and TV shows made it easier to embrace having boundaries in bed:

“[Intimacy Coordinators are] much like stunt coordinators: we’re there to make the scenes look real and stay safe, but our domain is emotional safety within sex and nude scenes. We practice many forms of consent on set so we can ensure that it’s ongoing. In order to assist others in finding their boundaries, I had to get much more in touch with my own. At the same time, I was learning to listen to my gut and what my body needed. Through my healing, my body reawakened and I had this job that meant something. I had less to prove than ever. I didn’t need to convince anyone that I was good at communication, intimacy, or sex. As I entered back into the dating world, I anticipated feeling empowered to say ‘no,’ or ‘slow down,’ or ‘I’m not comfortable with that yet.’

I was right: this deeper knowledge of myself helps me say when I’m not ready in situations where I might have pushed through nerves at other times in my life. And if anyone tries to convince me that I don’t know myself in these circumstances, they can go fuck themselves because I’m certainly not going to.”