Tag: Talk

Janelle Monáe Says She Felt ‘Pressure’ To Talk About Her Sexuality – KitschMix

Janelle Monáe Says She Felt ‘Pressure’ To Talk About Her

Janelle Monáe has been speaking publicly about her identity for several years, and in 2018 she stated she was a “queer Black woman” who “has been in relationships with both men and women.”

In this months cover interview with Out magazine Monáe explained that she chooses not to talk about her relationships in public, but realised she would have to come out, she said: “I knew because of my art, I would have to talk about these things. So that put more pressure on me.

“The most important thing was me having conversations with my family. It was important that my family be reintroduced, not to the little girl they grew up knowing that they called ‘pumpkin’ or they knew was into this or into that, but they knew who I was today — that they knew that I was a free-ass motherf**ker.”

Monae added: “[Something] I identify with more than ever is the concept of coming in — and people coming into your life — and not coming out. I think there’s so much pressure put on people that can’t afford to announce to the world that, ‘I am queer’ or ‘I’m gay.’

“[I hope people can] talk about their sexuality and being queer, being gay, or being who they are, they can talk about it, not out of fear, but out of love and celebration for who they are.

“If people look at me as that beacon of hope, that’s great, but I always tell people don’t feel any pressure to be me. Take your time.”

Monáe added: “My hope is that we can continue to showcase the spectrum of storytelling around Black voices and around Black human beings, stories that humanize us.

“We can go beyond trauma, showing how powerful we are as Black people to persevere through trauma. I’m ready to see us in the past, the present, the future truly experiencing joy on screen and what it means to just exist.”

At the Oscars earlier this year, she gave an epic shout-out to Black History Month and made clear: “I’m so proud to stand here as a Black queer artist telling stories.”

Monáe explained of her Oscars moment: “[There are] so many people who have graced stages, who are out protesting and who are fighting to have their voices heard. I just happened to have a mic.

“To get on that stage and do anything other than that, would not have felt right to my spirit.”

Monáe added: “My hope is that we can continue to showcase the spectrum of storytelling around Black voices and around Black human beings, stories that humanize us.

“We can go beyond trauma, showing how powerful we are as Black people to persevere through trauma. I’m ready to see us in the past, the present, the future truly experiencing joy on screen and what it means to just exist.”

Watch: LGBTQ Legal Experts Talk 2nd-Parent Adoption and Other Ways to Protect Your Family

Watch: LGBTQ Legal Experts Talk 2nd-Parent Adoption and Other Ways

Two LGBTQ legal experts recently spoke on a GLAD panel about second-parent (co-parent) adoptions, Voluntary Acknowledgments of Parentage, and other ways LGBTQ parents can secure our legal relationships with our children. Regardless of who is in the White House, the U.S. Supreme Court remains conservative, and these actions are an important way of protecting our families. Watch the video now.

Patience Crozier, GLAD senior staff attorney, and Joyce Kauffman, GLAD board chair and lead attorney at Kauffman Law & Mediation, are not only attorneys, but also queer parents themselves. They understand both the legal and the emotional side of all this. They speak about why second-parent adoptions are necessary (even if you’re married!) and what to expect during the process; how Voluntary Acknowledgements of Parentage offer some LGBTQ parents another path to legal recognition; how likely they think it is that marriage equality could be overturned and what might happen to existing same-sex spouses in that case, and more.

The summary? “The good news is that there are ways to make sure your family is legally protected, and if you’ve already taken those steps they can’t be undone,” GLAD says.

Their focus is somewhat on New England, which is GLAD’s ambit—but even if you live elsewhere, I think you may also find much of this useful, if only to help you then ask better questions of lawyers and policymakers in your state.

Watch the video here—but please also visit the GLAD website for links to all the resources mentioned during the panel, along with additional legal information on parenting and other topics.

Kelly Ripa just posted a picture of Mark Consuelos in a cop uniform. We need to talk about his baton. / Queerty

Kelly Ripa just posted a picture of Mark Consuelos in

Actress and talk show host Kelly Ripa just loves posting pictures of her family, especially as Halloween approaches. This year however, she may have her Instagram followers fainting from lust rather than fright: one image of her husband, actor Mark Consuelos, shows off the actor’s massive bulge.

“Halloween is a family business,” Ripa posted to Instagram, along with a roll of photos featuring her family. Followers that scroll all the way to the end get a glimpse–actually, more like an eyeful–of Conseulos’ package as he channels 1970s-era Erik Estrada from C.H.I.P.S.

We wonder how he is with body cavity searches.

Related: Who Knew Kelly Ripa Was A Total Size Queen?

Ripa’s made a habit of posting some very thirsty pictures of Consuelos, 49. The pair met on the set of the soap opera All My Children back in 1995 when he was cast as the love interest of Ripa’s character. The pair married in secret a year later, and continued to appear on the show together as series regulars until 2002. Today, they have three children together.

Have a look back at some of Ripa’s most classic shots. Have some water on hand…you’ll be thirsty.

“If These Ovaries Could Talk” Book Brings Podcast Humor and Insight to LGBTQ Family Making

"If These Ovaries Could Talk" Book Brings Podcast Humor and

A new book by the hosts of a popular podcast captures the lively spirit of the show and the insights of their many guests as it explores LGBTQ family making.

If These Ovaries Could Talk

If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family, by Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins, might more accurately have been subtitled “… Making LGBTQ Families,” because there are many of them here and they’re a varied lot. Since January 2018, when Kelton and Hopkins launched their If These Ovaries Could Talk podcast, they’ve spoken with dozens of LGBTQ parents, parents-to-be, and their children, including celebrities like comedian Judy Gold, poet StaceyAnn Chin, and Iowa State Senator Zach Wahls; medical, legal, and financial experts; and many other individuals and couples of various identities and at different stages of their parenting journeys. Their book, culled from the many conversations they’ve had, is aimed at two audiences: LGBTQ people who want to start a family and curious non-LGBTQ folks who might want to know more about LGBTQ families but have been “too afraid to ask.”

That sets it apart from many of the other books about LGBTQ family making, which are aimed more exclusively at prospective LGBTQ parents. The dual audience for this book, though, parallels the goal of the podcast “to normalize (for lack of a better word) our nontraditional families. To show the world our struggles, our love, our joy, our thoughtfulness and our humanity.” Hopkins and Kelton find the balance between those audiences by focusing on sharing stories rather than creating a step-by-step how-to manual—yet there’s still plenty of practical information here for those who want it. Although they don’t shy away from the many challenges faced by LGBTQ parents—both as LGBTQ people and as parents—they also give readers a big heaping dose of joy and positivity. “Our families are freaking fabulous,” they emote.

If These Ovaries Could Talk

Jaimie Kelton (L) and Robin Hopkins (R). Photo credit: Lit Riot Press

Kelton and Hopkins, both award-winning actors, bring their signature humor and chatty tone to keep things conversational, even when discussing serious topics. Hopkins began her career as a stand-up comic in New York City and is now an executive producer of the podcast Amy Schumer Presents: 3 Girls, 1 Keith. Her film and TV credits include Boardwalk EmpireLouie, Hindsight and more. She’s also an accomplished playwright. Kelton has over 17 years of stage experience as an actor, singer, and dancer, and has done voiceover work for Disney’s The Octonauts, Amazon’s Bug Diaries, and SYFY’s Happy, among other shows. Importantly, too, they’re both lesbian moms who also share their own stories.

Rather than simply give us transcripts of their podcast episodes, however, they’ve sifted through them to compile key stories and dialogues into thematic chapters. Most chapters begin with short introductory pieces by each of them, followed by the first-person reflections on the chapter’s topic by several podcast guests, sometimes in conversation with each other or the hosts.

The first section of the book is about starting a family, beginning with a chapter on deciding if you even want to do so. There are chapters on donors, assisted reproduction, adoption and foster care, and “Trans and Fertility” (awkwardly named but thoughtfully done in that the cisgender authors step back to let transgender people speak for themselves). The second section looks at topics for those who already have kids. Here we have chapters on money and legal issues, “Being Out as a Family”; “Talking to Your Kids About Their Family”; families that include networks of donors, donor siblings, and other adults; being a non-biological, adoptive, or step parent; intersectional issues including race, religion, and gender fluidity; and “Growing Up with Gay Parents.” A glossary at the end provides a helpful look at some commonly used terms.

Perhaps most importantly, the stories here convey the great variety of LGBTQ parenting experiences. The book is, of course, limited by the identities and experiences of Hopkins, Kelton, and their guests as of the book’s writing—they’re a diverse lot, but don’t, for example, include any parents who identify (at least in the book) as bisexual or any children of transgender parents. (They do, however, include transgender parents and bisexual children of LGBTQ parents, though one guest’s description of her daughter as both “bisexual” and “lesbian” begs clarification.) Their podcast continues, though; perhaps there will be a second book as well, with even more varied voices.

A few quibbles have more to do with the editing than the main content of the book. There are an unfortunate number of typos, which I hope can be corrected in a future edition. A full index would have been helpful. A list of the podcast episodes and guests would have benefited from including the episode dates. Those are minor issues, however, and do not substantially detract from the thoughtful stories, information, and sense of community conveyed by the many voices here.

If you want to be inspired by other LGBTQ families who have been have through some of the same decision-making processes; if you want to feel like you’re in a fun group discussion with other LGBTQ parents and their children that makes the whole experience less daunting; or if you want a book to share with non-LGBTQ relatives, friends, and neighbors about our families, then this is the book for you. Let’s hope these ovaries keep talking.

Like the book? Keep up with If These Ovaries Could Talk wherever you listen to podcasts.


(I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program that provides a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.)

Let’s talk about ‘g0ys,’ gay men who are so opposed to anal sex that they’ve created a little club / Queerty

Let’s talk about ‘g0ys,’ gay men who are so opposed

What is a g0y?

According to Urban Dictionary, it’s “a guy who finds men attractive, but for whatever reason is offended by the stigmas that currently define the ‘gay community’ in the public psyche.”

G0ys shun effeminate behavior because they thinks it’s “cowardly.” They also refrain from calling one another things like “girl”, “bitch”, or “queen.” But their biggest hangup is anal sex. They don’t believe in it because they think it’s a “violent act” that represents “the ultimate form of sexual disrespect.”

The website g0ys.org, which labels itself “Ground ZER0 in the ‘UNgay’ Paradigm Shift!,” calls the whole g0y movement “an explosively popular awakening among men in general – sweeping the globe.”

The site explains:

Our well reasoned positions regarding basic, male sexuality have taken to task both: religious “fundamentalists”, -and- the “liberal gay leftists”.  G0YS are among the healthiest men of any demographic on the planet, & sexually transmitted diseases are a virtual non-issue. How can this be? G0YS, by our very nature, reject ALL anal-fetish related acts! And, we strongly discourage physical intimacy with others who reject our mindset.  This mental trait lowers our risk of perilous sexually transmitted diseases by: 1,250,000% (vs. the men who call themselves “gay”)!

Don’t ask us where they got that figure.

The word “g0y” purportedly comes from ancient Hebrew and is spelled with a zero instead of the letter “o” for a few reasons. First, the g0ys say, it is to create a “departure from stereotype.”

G0ys.org explains, “A term was needed that had some meaning behind it, while being simple enough for people to remember; — plus stir some curiosity.”

Also, they don’t like the letter “a” because that’s the first letter in the word “anal” and they really. don’t. like. anal.

“The term needed to confront sloppy theology that supports “everything gAy” — including Anal,” g0ys.org says. “G0YS reject Anal-Sex! It’s dirty, dangerous & damn – disrespectful of masculinity.”

G0ys.org says:

According to the CDC, condoms fail about 2% of the time during analsex.  On a 360 day year, assuming only 1 screw a day, that’s 720 buttphucks (360×2 partners).  720×2%= 14 condom failures. Since it only takes (1) failure to spread a deadly STD/STI, that’s 1300% overkill.  Last time I saw an overkill factor like that it was tied to the nuclear weapons program.  Have 1/14th of a nuclear war & everyone is still dead. Ironic how the penis resembles a missle….

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there.

You see, AnalSex is ALWAYS a VIOLENT ACT. ALWAYS. And did I mention that it’s VIOLENT 100% of the time?  The FACT (say “FACT”) is that the human rectum (whether male or female) is NOT designed to be used as a dick-dock.  Every single occurrence of that act damages the recipient in some fashion as well as creating a conduit for disease that is some +5000% more contagious than even 0ralSex (according to the CDC & World Health 0rganization).  It’s +5000% MORE FUKK’N CONTAGIOUS on top (pun) of ALWAYS being INJURIOUS to the physical structures in the recipient!

JB reviews Something To Talk About by Meryl Wilsner – The Lesbrary

JB reviews Something To Talk About by Meryl Wilsner –

Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner

Hello everybody! My name is JB and I’m so excited to be here.

Who doesn’t love a good slow burn romance? The slow burn romance trope is literally my favorite trope in existence. All my favorite ships go through some sort of slow burn/mutual pining stage. Something to Talk About has a slow burn romance AND a fake dating. It feels like it was made for me, and I can tell Meryl Wilsner knows what the lesbians want. And yet this novel did not fully satisfy my itch for slow burn romance.

Something to Talk About features Jo, a mega-successful showrunner, and her assistant, Emma, and their journey from coworkers to friends to lovers. Jo is photographed making Emma laugh on a red carpet and rumors start a-going. Though the gossip threatens to interfere with both their personal and professional lives, Jo decides to not comment; she’s never before, so why start now? The novel is told from both of their perspectives, which I enjoyed because we got to see that sweet, sweet mutual pining. I enjoyed seeing both of them get flustered about each other or giving meaning to small interactions. I love how much unspoken care was already in their relationship, even before they realized they could be more than coworkers and friends. Emma and Jo know each other’s favorite foods, how they way sleep on the plane during business trips, and more.

While I enjoyed reading from their perspectives, there was not a lot of difference in their voices. I had to turn back to the beginning of a chapter more than once to remember who I was supposed to be. A major conflict happens in the middle of the novel that didn’t really make a lot of sense to me, and I almost put the book down because of it. I also thought that there were one too many real world issues trying to be addressed between the romance. Racism and sexism against Jo, sexual harassment in Hollywood, and nepotism (somehow) were either mentioned or part of the plot. It’s completely possible to experience all of these at once, but, to me, it felt out of place in a novel that markets itself as a fluffy romance.

Overall, I really did enjoy this book. I realized I enjoyed and related to these characters more than those in YA WLW romances. I recommend it to anyone who’s looking for a WLW romance featuring adult women, mutual pining, and yeah, of course, slow burn romance.

Trigger warnings: racism, sexual harassment

JB (she/her) teaches junior high history by day and reads lesbian fiction by night. Her favorite genres are fantasy, speculative fiction, historical non-fiction, and memoirs. She loves all things history, RPG podcasts, and watching longform video essays with her gf. You can find her on Instagram at @readingrhythms.

Listen: the Rad Child Podcast and I Talk About Queer-Inclusive Picture Books

Listen: the Rad Child Podcast and I Talk About Queer-Inclusive

I recently had the great pleasure of being on the Rad Child Podcast to talk about queer-inclusive children’s books. Have a listen!

Rad Child Podcast

Host Seth Day and co-host Rebecca Hachmyer invited me to speak with them on the topic of picture books about sexual orientation. Rebecca has a master’s degree in children’s literature and currently reviews children’s books for the Horn Book, one of the oldest and most prestigious publications about children’s and young adult literature; Seth’s an educator who has been working in childcare for over 10 years. Needless to say, they have a lot of expertise—and it was great to explore a number of books with them, looking at where we’d say “way to go” or suggest there’s “room to grow.” Thanks to them for having me on the show!

Listen in your browser here, or on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Here are the show notes, with images of just some of the books we ended up discussing.

After that, check out some more of their great episodes on how to talk with children about topics often considered “taboo” or “too complicated” for them, including race, gender, sexuality, mental health, disability and more!