Tag: wrong

Not wrong : actuallesbians

Not wrong : actuallesbians

A place for discussions for and by cis and trans lesbians, bisexual girls, chicks who like chicks, bi-curious folks, dykes, butches, femmes, girls who kiss girls, birls, bois, aces, LGBT allies, and anyone else interested! Our subreddit is named r/actuallesbians because r/lesbians is not really for or by lesbians–it was meant to be a joke. We’re not a militant or exclusive group, so feel free to join up!

What’s wrong with Michael Douglas & Matt Damon getting naked? / Queerty

What’s wrong with Michael Douglas & Matt Damon getting naked?

Welcome to Screen Gems, our weekend dive into queer and queer-adjacent titles of the past that deserve a watch or a rewatch.

The Glittering: Behind the Candelabra

Michael Douglas may have taken home the Emmy for his performance as Liberace in this biopic, but the movie belongs to Matt Damon who gives an uninhibited performance as Liberace’s on-again, off-again lover Scott Thorson. As directed by Steven Soderbergh, Behind the Candelabra isn’t so much a biopic of the Las Vegas-loving, oh-so-gay pianist as a biography of the very weird relationship between Liberace and Thorson. As Liberace says in the film: “I want to be everything to you, Scott. I want to be your father, brother, lover, best friend.”

That, folks, is a recipe for disaster.

By now the details of Liberace’s final years have become common knowledge: his drug and spending habits, his death from AIDS, and the bizarre narcissism that drove him to own Throson as a kept man and undergo plastic surgery to look more like Liberace himself. Neither Throson nor Liberace comes off well in Behind the Candelabra, and yet somehow, Soderbergh, Douglas and Damon make us love the couple, their hedonistic lifestyle, and even their flaws. Though Thorson & Liberace’s relationship ends on a bitter note, the move doesn’t. Rather, it celebrates the real affection between two men who really did love one another, even when their relationship turned destructive. Featuring outstanding performances from its two lead, as well as Scott Bakula, Rob Lowe and the late Debbie Reynolds, Behind the Candelabra is a film as complicated–and joyous–as the men who inspired it.

Streams on HBO Max, Amazon, Hulu, YouTube & VUDU.

I Watched the Wrong Lesbian Dinosaur Movie, But It Was Really Good

I Watched the Wrong Lesbian Dinosaur Movie, But It Was

When news of Ammoninite washed ashore on the great sea of the internet, I was elated. Two of the things I love most in life are lesbians and dinosaurs, and Ammonite promised both of those things! That the lesbians were to be played by Oscar/Emmy/Grammy-winner Kate Winslet and Saoirse Lady Bird Ronan was fine and good. I especially loved Ronan as lesbian icon Jo March in Little Women. But mostly, I must confess, I was in it for those giant and fantastic reptilian critters of yore. Well, and then the reviews came in, and they were Not Good. Our own Drew Gregory, who loves to love things and does not love to not love things, said Ammonite was drab! And dull! And dour! But I could not pass up the chance to watch a movie about lesbian dinosaurs, so I said to the Amazon Echo, my own personal pre-extinction device, “Alexa, please play the lesbian dinosaurs movie!”

The reason you know the lesbian dinosaur movie is a lesbian movie is because it starts out with a tragedy! Innocent Littlefoot, who is a Longneck dinosaur, becomes friends with chatty Cera, a Three-Horn dinosaur, even though their parents discourage it because they’re different species. Then one night when they’re out playing, a Sharptooth attacks them! And Littlefoot’s mom, who is voiced by Helen Shaver, who plays Vivian in the iconic lesbian movie Desert Hearts, gets eaten by the Sharptooth! But this is a lesbian movie and so that’s just the beginning of the misery. Next thing you know, there’s an earthquake and Littlefoot and Cera get separated from their whole entire families and the planet is changing temperatures and there’s hardly any food left and their only hope is to get to the Great Valley, a land flowing with tree stars.

Littlefoot and Cera set off on a journey to the Great Valley, and soon encounter a Bigmouth dinosaur named Ducky and a Flyer dinosaur named Petrie and a Spiketail dinosaur named Spike who join up with them. Everyone is very happy to have friends because they are hungry and cold, but Cera can’t shake the prejudices of her family, so she decides she’s going to find “her own kind” — but gives up on that real quick when it gets dark and scary and frigid at night.

But that’s only the beginning of the tension between Littlefoot and Cera. See, Littlefoot, in true queer fashion, has a lot of mommy issues. (This, of course, is a common theme in other popular lesbian movies such as Carol and Frozen 2.) First of all, he hears his mom’s voice guiding him toward rock formations and fire mountains and also sees her in the clouds. Like physically, he sees her body in the form of a cloud leading him places. And second of all, he is in constant turmoil because his mom was kind of a bigot but also any time anyone says anything slightly rude about her, he tries to murder them! Which is how the gang ends up following Cera instead of him.

It’s hard to know who is the lesbian-est of these lesbian dinosaurs. I have mentioned Littlefoot’s mommy issues and Cera’s entire Scorpio deal — “I can get my OWN green food! You see, I can take care of myself; all by myself. I’m not afraid to be alone, I know my way to go, AND… I’m not afraid of the Sharptooth, AND… I hope that he doesn’t eat any of you!” — but there’s some other lesbian traits amongst them. Ducky has serious people-pleaser boundary stuff, just “Yep! Yep! Yep!” to everything. Petrie has imposter syndrome and spends the whole movie feeling insecure about not flying yet. And, to be honest, they’re all going through a big time existential crisis and even the simplest conversations are framed against the backdrop of their own mortality and the ephemeral nature of existence.

In the end, though, this little found family comes together and discovers their own powers because of each other and also because of adversity. Cera does a superheroic headbutt! Petrie learns to fly on the snuffy breath of a Sharptooth! Littlefoot uses his tenacity and ingenuity to save the day! And, together, they make it to the Great Valley!

It was when they made it to the Great Valley and neither Kate Winslet nor Saoirse Lady Bird Ronan had shown up that I realized Alexa had played the wrong lesbian dinosaur movie. But I’m glad I watched it anyway. It’s a lot of pain and also angst about the fact of impermanence of all living things, but also resilience and hard-won hope like that Mary Oliver poem “Don’t Hesitate”:

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.

And by “crumb,” of course I mean “a single tree star.”

Is it wrong that we find a psychopath this attractive? / Queerty

Is it wrong that we find a psychopath this attractive?

Welcome to Screen Gems, our weekend dive into queer and queer-adjacent titles of the past that deserve a watch or a rewatch.

The Screamer: M.O.M.-Mothers of Monsters

This horror/thriller gem didn’t get enough press when it debuted earlier this year. That gives us the pleasure of recommending it here, just in time for Halloween.

The film stars Melinda Page Hamilton of Desperate Housewives as Abbey, mother to  Jacob (Bailey Edwards in his leading debut; he’s the son of Top Gun E.R. star Anthony Edwards). Abbey begins recording everything on hidden video around the house, convinced that Jacob is an aspiring psychopath. Jacob also might be gay; the movie toys with us on that subject, which somehow adds to the thrills. Jacob reacts to his mom with reasonable disgust…and develops a terrifying plan of his own.

Much in the vein of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane and even The ShiningM.O.M. chronicles a descent into madness. But just who is the crazy one in this mess? Hamilton gives a compelling performance, as does veteran actor Ed Asner in a brief role as Jacob’s psychiatrist. The movie, however, belongs to Edwards, who shows off great range and charisma with some very difficult material. Handsome, magnetic and radiating an impish sexiness, he shows real potential as a leading man. That’s he’s also queer in real life is just an added bonus here.

M.O.M. doesn’t rely on heavy gore or jump scares for its thrills. Rather, it allows its leading performers to show off their skills, and lets its characters get under the skin of viewers. Modest, sneaky and very tense, it will leave you panting…one way or another

Streams on Amazon & iTunes.

Munroe Bergdorf no longer describes herself as ‘born in the wrong body’

Munroe Bergdorf: L'Oreal eviscerated for Black Lives Matter message

Munroe Bergdorf at an LGBTQ+ History Month breakfast in February 25, 2020 in London, England. (David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty)

Model and activist Munroe Bergdorf has explained why she no longer uses the phrase “born in the wrong body” to describe her trans experience.

Munroe Bergdorf, a patron for the trans-support charity Mermaids, shared her thoughts with the organisation on the phrase, often used to explain the trans experience to cisgender people.

She said that while she had previously described herself as “born in the wrong body”, the phrase no longer felt like it fit.

Bergdorf said: “I’ve come to understand why the phrase ‘born in the wrong body’ is unhelpful to me.

“I know why I used to use it; because other people struggled to understand, but looking back I know it did me harm.

“Saying you have the wrong body feels like a kind of self-abuse, and it’s not the same as saying ‘I need to adjust my body to be my true self’. That’s a different thing.

“We only get one body and it’s really important, especially for younger people to know they are unique and beautiful. I would say to younger people that transitioning is hard so you need to look after your body, love it and respect it.”

According to Mermaids: “The phrase is one we’ve used ourselves in the past and, at the time, it seemed helpful.

“Back then, the idea that anyone – let alone a young person – could be transgender or gender-diverse was a new concept for many of those we spoke to. That collective lack of experience meant transgender people and support organisations had to find some way of explaining what being trans meant.”

The charity added that its “broad position” was that “no child is born in the wrong body”, but that every person must describe their experience in a way that feels right for them.

Mermaids added: “We believe that transgender people shouldn’t be expected or encouraged to reject their entire amazing, intelligent, beautiful, creative bodies, simply because of gender incongruity.

“Still, we also know some people – including some of our amazing patrons – do use that phrase to express who they are.

“It is your right to use whatever words you choose to describe yourself.”